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18 days,still a lot of anxiety

Old 01-06-2018, 04:48 PM
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Day 28 is fantastic you must be very proud of yourself.
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Old 01-07-2018, 03:07 PM
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Not proud of myself at all. How can an addict be proud?
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Old 01-07-2018, 05:43 PM
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Hi Ragsdash. I understand how residual shame may shadow feelings of accomplishment. My low self-esteem predated my drinking years, and alcohol obviously didn't help matters any. But, it's also okay to feel a sense of satisfaction (gratitude) in being sober. You're doing something important here.
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Old 01-08-2018, 04:01 PM
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Thanks and you are right. I just don't want to get cocky and think that this is easy, we both know it isn't. Day 30 today. In a way it feels like an eternity, so much has happened internally while externally the world is the same. AV is letting me know it's there today-saying for instance " great, You're sober, is that all there is. See, I told you you'd be better off drinking, it was much more fun." Really glad Sr is around to read what others are experiencing.
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Old 01-08-2018, 05:09 PM
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Originally Posted by Ragsdash View Post
Not proud of myself at all. How can an addict be proud?
Not sure if it's proud but when you get a sense of freedom from your addiction it's empowering. I had a bad opioid addiction also which I kicked four years ago, it was a really rough withdrawal with PAWS hard for 18 months and insomnia that plagues me to this day. I don't know what insomnia is like from kicking booze, I already had it through the roof.
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Old 01-08-2018, 05:38 PM
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Congrats on Day 30 ragsdash

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Old 01-08-2018, 06:07 PM
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Thanks.
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Old 01-08-2018, 06:12 PM
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Awesome that you beat opioid addiction! I don't know what withdrawal from that addiction is like, must be hellish. My daughter is a junkie and I know how sick she gets when she can't get high. Kudos to you!
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Old 01-11-2018, 06:14 PM
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Day 33, beast is very subtle

Day 33, mostly good, still a little off mentally but I do notice I think about what I say to my coworkers more than I used to. Nice not having hangovers, good to be reading again but.....late in the afternoon I found out I have Sunday off and the first thing I thought was "Awesome, I can go to the bar first thing in the morning and drink all day." I have no idea where this thought came from, I mean it came so fast and so suddenly. Of course I won't do it but it's almost frightening that this came out of nowhere with such force.
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Old 01-12-2018, 11:45 PM
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New to Forum 7 days sober!

Originally Posted by Ragsdash View Post
Thanks for welcoming me, I truly appreciate it and am so glad I found this forum, site. Was fine all day until it got dark. Then for some reason I got really restless, it is Friday, feel like I am missing out. The beast wants to get drunk! Not r todaygoing to happen and I am not changing my mind. Wish it would shut up and leave me alone. I went to the bar today and drank juice, maybe that was a bad idea, just wanted to see some old friends and observe them drinking. Nobody but the bartender knows I quit. Found it boring without drinking. Just by writing the craving is passing. Thanks again.
Good on ya!I can't even go near a bar,smell of booze,sounds,people,music,too powerful for me.
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Old 01-12-2018, 11:49 PM
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Congrats on day 33 ragsdash
Yeah I'd avoid bars for a while, if you can

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Old 01-13-2018, 01:57 AM
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Originally Posted by Ragsdash View Post
Not proud of myself at all. How can an addict be proud?
I am quite proud- and at the same time gratefully humbled- by my addiction and my recovery. I believe it is the path of the warrior to get sober and live a good life in recovery. We are the lucky ones, the winners- and if we use our experience to benefit others (I am an AA person) then we are doing a great service to all.

It took time to work through a whole gamut of emotions, including regret, shame, resentment, to name a few; I still have (generally) fleeting thoughts of these at times. I am going on two years sober next month. Everything has been a process, one I will continue as long as I live.

Keep going - you can keep seeing things differently, and IME in a far more positive and hopeful and, yes, proud light the longer you are in recovery.

Best to you.
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