18 days,still a lot of anxiety
Hi Ragsdash. I understand how residual shame may shadow feelings of accomplishment. My low self-esteem predated my drinking years, and alcohol obviously didn't help matters any. But, it's also okay to feel a sense of satisfaction (gratitude) in being sober. You're doing something important here.
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Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: Pompano Beach Florida
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Thanks and you are right. I just don't want to get cocky and think that this is easy, we both know it isn't. Day 30 today. In a way it feels like an eternity, so much has happened internally while externally the world is the same. AV is letting me know it's there today-saying for instance " great, You're sober, is that all there is. See, I told you you'd be better off drinking, it was much more fun." Really glad Sr is around to read what others are experiencing.
Not sure if it's proud but when you get a sense of freedom from your addiction it's empowering. I had a bad opioid addiction also which I kicked four years ago, it was a really rough withdrawal with PAWS hard for 18 months and insomnia that plagues me to this day. I don't know what insomnia is like from kicking booze, I already had it through the roof.
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Awesome that you beat opioid addiction! I don't know what withdrawal from that addiction is like, must be hellish. My daughter is a junkie and I know how sick she gets when she can't get high. Kudos to you!
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Day 33, beast is very subtle
Day 33, mostly good, still a little off mentally but I do notice I think about what I say to my coworkers more than I used to. Nice not having hangovers, good to be reading again but.....late in the afternoon I found out I have Sunday off and the first thing I thought was "Awesome, I can go to the bar first thing in the morning and drink all day." I have no idea where this thought came from, I mean it came so fast and so suddenly. Of course I won't do it but it's almost frightening that this came out of nowhere with such force.
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Join Date: Jan 2018
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New to Forum 7 days sober!
Thanks for welcoming me, I truly appreciate it and am so glad I found this forum, site. Was fine all day until it got dark. Then for some reason I got really restless, it is Friday, feel like I am missing out. The beast wants to get drunk! Not r todaygoing to happen and I am not changing my mind. Wish it would shut up and leave me alone. I went to the bar today and drank juice, maybe that was a bad idea, just wanted to see some old friends and observe them drinking. Nobody but the bartender knows I quit. Found it boring without drinking. Just by writing the craving is passing. Thanks again.
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I am quite proud- and at the same time gratefully humbled- by my addiction and my recovery. I believe it is the path of the warrior to get sober and live a good life in recovery. We are the lucky ones, the winners- and if we use our experience to benefit others (I am an AA person) then we are doing a great service to all.
It took time to work through a whole gamut of emotions, including regret, shame, resentment, to name a few; I still have (generally) fleeting thoughts of these at times. I am going on two years sober next month. Everything has been a process, one I will continue as long as I live.
Keep going - you can keep seeing things differently, and IME in a far more positive and hopeful and, yes, proud light the longer you are in recovery.
Best to you.
It took time to work through a whole gamut of emotions, including regret, shame, resentment, to name a few; I still have (generally) fleeting thoughts of these at times. I am going on two years sober next month. Everything has been a process, one I will continue as long as I live.
Keep going - you can keep seeing things differently, and IME in a far more positive and hopeful and, yes, proud light the longer you are in recovery.
Best to you.
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