Countrylife

I’m hoping I can clear my chest and move forward cause I’m tired of struggling!!!
Hello everyone my name is Nichole I’m 28 years old and I’m an alcoholic and drug abuser
It all started at 13 years old huffing,drinking , and smoking pot my family never noticed the difference in me cause they was never around. 14 years old I started snorting pills any pain pill or benzo!! I put myself in dangerous situations I’ve been took advantage of and force to do things against my will which this is the first time telling anyone. I’ve been passenger 2 different times and driver pass out driving hit a telephone pole and other time was a tree. At 15 I got arrested for drinking in public and had to go to a rehab program and after that got pick up couple times for breaking into an abandoned house to get high. My mom and dad both ended up in jail at the same time for taking money after that my dad left my mom and before he left he told me I was the worse mistake of his life and didn’t love me. He tried to kill me my mom and brother by cutting the breaks to the car which lead me to drugs and drinking more as time went on I did graduate high school and after school I tried coke, smoke crack and done acid I never done I drug I didn’t love!! I cleaned up some got Married to my high school sweetheart going on 12 years together married 7 and had two beautiful kids 3 and 5 years old now I never thought I was an alcoholic cause I have nice cars expensive toys and a house I’m buying and I always get stuff done but boy was I wrong im struggling to give everything up (booze,pills,pot) and I’m hoping I can let go of the past to start my new future I still have problems my husband likes to yell and scream at me and everything is always my fault and I’m trying to help him with that he is little bipolar

JK130

Welcome! What a complex life you've led. Thank you for trusting us enough to share what an incrdeibly strong person you are! You'll get through this too. Addiction is difficult for sure, but you can beat it! And you've got sweet little ones now to help you focus on your health. We'll help too :-)

Magpie82

Thanks for sharing your story, Nichole. I think it’s awesome that you’re trying to get clean and sober for yourself and your family.

It sounds like you had a really tough childhood. That blows. You must be a pretty tough cookie though to be able to recognize that you can have a better life, and make a better life for your kiddos by getting rid of the booze etc.

I started drinking very young too. Ended up with alcohol poisoning and taken to the hospital at age 13. I didn’t really start drinking daily until I was in my twenties and I knew exactly why. It was to try not to feel hurt by family things. (Sound familiar?) Then it became a habit.

I’m 35 now, and can’t believe I’ve held it together this long. (Kind of). I hope you can quit. I hope we both can. We deserve it. I hope you stay on here and keep posting.

Dee74

Thanks for sharing your story Nicole. I really believe we can always start on a chapter two and write a better end for ourselves. I'm glad you're trying

D

24violets

Hi Nichole, I’m so glad you had the courage to come here. The people here have really helped so much. I believe you can have the life you want for yourself and your kids. I have been here a month and a half. I am feeling so much better and you will too.

DontRemember

Hi,Nichole.. Glad you decided to stick around.. I know "it's" a scary thing to face,but please trust me..it's worth everything you put in! Coming here,drunk and hurting physically/mentally in 2014 was the hardest thing I've ever searched for on google! I've had my ups and downs,but kept coming back.. I'm a bit over a year 'sober'(one drunk night in there) and am the happiest I've been in 9+yrs! Please stick around and use the support here. Also, maybe seek out some F2F support in your area. There's no need to be ashamed in seeking help/support. That kept me at bay for way longer than needed.

D122y

Nichole,

The biggest issue I learned about from sr was the mental addiction.

It is for life. My brain stopped producing dopamine at normal levels, so I wasn't happy until I was under the effects of booze.

This funk lasted for well over a year....and the whole time I dealt w obsessions that my av told me to solve w booze.

There is a lot more, but it boils down to not drinking. Booze is a neuro toxin. It fries the brain until eventually what is left is crazy.

Thanks.

Delilah1

Hi Nichole,

Thank you for sharing your story. You have definitely had some difficult situations you have had to overcome, and alcohol can be the next one. This is s great site for support, it definitely has been for me.

You can do this.