Checking in
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 50
Checking in
Hey everyone 
Coming up on three weeks, and the last few days have been tougher than the first two weeks. No urges for drinking, but my emotions are very down, and my anxiety which used to be about health, has turned into worry of getting depressed, and all the things that come with it ((like developing suicidal thoughts(which is ridiculous there is so much beauty in life, and I have been very fortunate my whole life), losing motivation and interest ect.)) My biggest driving factor is many of you, and my family saying that all I need to do is give it time. That it is the biggest healer, and to keep sober and moving forward. I am holding on to that for dear life, and am getting into the gym, meditating, re enrolled in college and going out more(coffee shops, walks ect.)
I am still in it for the long haul. Just a bump in the road.
Coming up on three weeks, and the last few days have been tougher than the first two weeks. No urges for drinking, but my emotions are very down, and my anxiety which used to be about health, has turned into worry of getting depressed, and all the things that come with it ((like developing suicidal thoughts(which is ridiculous there is so much beauty in life, and I have been very fortunate my whole life), losing motivation and interest ect.)) My biggest driving factor is many of you, and my family saying that all I need to do is give it time. That it is the biggest healer, and to keep sober and moving forward. I am holding on to that for dear life, and am getting into the gym, meditating, re enrolled in college and going out more(coffee shops, walks ect.)
I am still in it for the long haul. Just a bump in the road.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 41
Congratulations on 3 weeks! I'm sorry to hear your suffering emotionally but am glad it sounds like you have a lot of supportive people around you. I think they are right when they say hang in there, all the healthy choices you are making will eventually pay off! You got this!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
There are some good ideas here Tibesy
Challenging negative thinking | ReachOut.com Australia
Negative Self-Talk: 9 Ways To Silence Your Inner Critic
Challenging Negative Self-Talk | Psych Central
Positive thinking: Reduce stress by eliminating negative self-talk - Mayo Clinic
Change Your Inner Talk From Negative To Positive
Challenging negative thinking | ReachOut.com Australia
Negative Self-Talk: 9 Ways To Silence Your Inner Critic
Challenging Negative Self-Talk | Psych Central
Positive thinking: Reduce stress by eliminating negative self-talk - Mayo Clinic
Change Your Inner Talk From Negative To Positive
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 50
Ahhh those really helped me understand that its my brain trying to cling onto a new cycle. I had been a weekend warrior for so long. I realize that it is just the AV in my head, I was stupid enough (but was trying to prepare for what was ahead) to read a post of someone in early sobriety who got a deep depression and had suicidal thoughts, so I think my brain went to "Oh no! that will happen to me too!"
I drew a funny, pear shaped monster with scraggly arms and named him my little monster (My AV) and realize that this little munchkin is the one trying to push me back to the drink with these thoughts. I am working out daily, enrolled in college for February, and going to get my GED before that begins. I know as long as I analyze my thoughts and keep moving forward I will be fine.
I thank you SR, and a special thanks to you dee for helping me educate myself, to build gaurds, to deal with all the things that have came, are here and are coming. I will stay close!
I drew a funny, pear shaped monster with scraggly arms and named him my little monster (My AV) and realize that this little munchkin is the one trying to push me back to the drink with these thoughts. I am working out daily, enrolled in college for February, and going to get my GED before that begins. I know as long as I analyze my thoughts and keep moving forward I will be fine.
I thank you SR, and a special thanks to you dee for helping me educate myself, to build gaurds, to deal with all the things that have came, are here and are coming. I will stay close!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 1,543
Great effort Tubesy.
Love the idea of drawing the AV too. I don't know why but your description of yours made me laugh.
I get dark thoughts at times too. Someone once described it to me like standing with your back to the sea. You just never know when the tide is going to wash over your head....
I do know that my periods of depression seem to be less pronounced the healthier I get and the longer I stay sober. Or maybe my ability to cope with them PROPERLY (not just get drunk) develops more? Perhaps we are more depressed than we know when we are drunk but the feelings are just more acute when we are sober? I'm not sure?
What I do know is that (like you) periods of mindfulness and exercise is important. We have so much good ahead of us if we try and breathe in the opportunities deeply enough don't we?
Strength to you Tubesy.
Regards,
JT
Love the idea of drawing the AV too. I don't know why but your description of yours made me laugh.
I get dark thoughts at times too. Someone once described it to me like standing with your back to the sea. You just never know when the tide is going to wash over your head....
I do know that my periods of depression seem to be less pronounced the healthier I get and the longer I stay sober. Or maybe my ability to cope with them PROPERLY (not just get drunk) develops more? Perhaps we are more depressed than we know when we are drunk but the feelings are just more acute when we are sober? I'm not sure?
What I do know is that (like you) periods of mindfulness and exercise is important. We have so much good ahead of us if we try and breathe in the opportunities deeply enough don't we?
Strength to you Tubesy.
Regards,
JT
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