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The Great Xmas Washup

Old 12-25-2017, 03:53 PM
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The Great Xmas Washup

For those who didn't make it through Christmas without drinking or using. please don't be discouraged or put off trying again.

This was one battle not the war.
You can recuperate regroup, and redraw your action plan.

Recovery 2.0 can be even better drawing from your experience of what works and what doesn't for you.

I think a recovery action plan is vital.

Sooner or later, you're going to be blindsided by an event, a person, a feeling, a situation or a stressor...and the urge to drink or use will be there.

If you haven't given much thought to what you might do in response, there's always the danger you'll revert to the default - which, for people like us, is drink/use.

Basically a recovery plan is a plan to help you stop drinking/drugging and stay stopped.

Things like exercise and hobbies should be a part of just about every recovery plan - but I really believe we also need to specifically address the drinking/drugging too.

Think about changes you need to make to your life.

Not only changes what you do for fun, the places you hang out and who you hang with, but also deeper internal change as well.

No matter what you drink or used for - stress or boredom, anger, joy, physical or emotional pain - you need new coping mechanisms to deal with all those things.

you also need to anticipate those times when you will want to drink or use, or when drink/drugs will be offered to you.

Have a strategy in place for dealing with those situations.

Ask for help here if you're not sure what to do or how to do it. Try and ask before you make a bad decision - not after.

All this can be difficult - which is why support is so important.

Help might be a Dr or a counsellor, or a meeting based approach like AA SMART LifeRing or some other alternative like Rational Recovery...

it might be outpatient or inpatient rehab - it might just be SR and other forums/chat rooms...

Find a level of support than works for you, and that you are willing to reach out when you're in trouble.

cover these bases, and you'll have the beginnings of a great plan.

This is an easy to read but detailed link which fills out the ideas a little more:
https://store.samhsa.gov/shin/conten...0/SMA-3720.pdf

And some more ideas here:
https://store.samhsa.gov/shin/conten...SMA12-4474.pdf

lets all make 2018 great!

D

Last edited by Dee74; 12-26-2017 at 02:06 AM.
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Old 12-25-2017, 04:01 PM
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Wise counsel indeed. Thanks Dee
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Old 12-25-2017, 04:17 PM
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from your mouth

May every person who reads this make a full recovery. Give it the time it takes. Don't give up after a couple weeks or a month or three months if things aren't completely okay yet. It took time to dig the hole and it will take time to fill it in again.

Nothing requires a drink. Not past abuse, trauma, anxiety, or any other perceived mental trigger. All things can be healed with time and the right sort of recovery tools based on your particular needs. Find the people with the answers, seek them out like your life depends on it - because it does.

Happy almost 2018.
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Old 12-25-2017, 04:19 PM
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I love this! Thank you Dee. I hope you had a good holiday and thank you for your support and encouragement as always and when I was struggling earlier this year.
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Old 12-25-2017, 04:29 PM
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Thank you, Dee!
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Old 12-25-2017, 04:33 PM
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They're not new thoughts but I though they might help today

Thanks for kind words guys

D
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Old 12-25-2017, 05:09 PM
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Thanks, Dee.

What you mentioned about change, is what I found to be the most important factor in my sobriety. It wasn't enough to just tell myself "I can't drink." It wasn't enough to white knuckle it. It wasn't enough to deny myself alcohol.

I had to make true, honest, deep, meaningful, soulful changes in my life, my line of thinking, my heart...basically the trajectory of my life. It was hard at first, and it's ongoing (and always will be), but it is what made sobriety stick.
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Old 12-25-2017, 05:10 PM
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I didn't make it Dee, I threw 45 days sober down the drain. I'm not into AA, I don't need impatient therapy. I can quit, but I can't stay that way. I always go back to my old friend (booze). I'm not sure if I should even be on this site anymore. This seems to be a site for people who stay sober.

This, of coarse could be irrational thoughts, or guilt.
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Old 12-25-2017, 05:18 PM
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As always - most timely and helpful, Dee. If only I'd had this advice long ago - my life would've gone so differently.

Wildflower - Not true - this site isn't just for those who stay sober. Please never give up on yourself & your chance for a better life.
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Old 12-25-2017, 05:25 PM
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Great post, Dee!

Thank you for inspiring the members who are struggling today.
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Old 12-25-2017, 05:33 PM
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Thanks Dee for this,

A lot of heart and soul was put into this post, and it was more beneficial than you'll ever know!
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Old 12-25-2017, 05:35 PM
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Hevyn,

Thank you, I know deep down inside that all are welcomed here but I have to say that sometimes it feels like a site for sober people.

For example, I would log on every morning for support, and the most popular threads are the ones of long time members who chat about daily life. Some of these long term members have little time for relapsers or people struggling to find their way. AA seems to be the given answer. I'm not judging, and I am grateful for what is available.
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Old 12-25-2017, 05:40 PM
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Originally Posted by wildflower70 View Post
I didn't make it Dee, I threw 45 days sober down the drain. I'm not into AA, I don't need impatient therapy. I can quit, but I can't stay that way. I always go back to my old friend (booze). I'm not sure if I should even be on this site anymore. This seems to be a site for people who stay sober.

This, of coarse could be irrational thoughts, or guilt.
I put the post together for people struggling just like you wildflower

I've relapsed before, hundreds of times....I understand the whole box and dice

The intention was not to shame or judge anyone - but to let people know there is help, and a better way to do things than drinking or using.

SR's always been about the people struggling - maybe even a little more than it is about those how have gotten sober.

You, and everyone else struggling, are always very welcome here

D
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Old 12-25-2017, 05:46 PM
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This is not just a site for people who stay sober, it's for people who want to stay sober and need support.
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Old 12-25-2017, 05:48 PM
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For example, I would log on every morning for support, and the most popular threads are the ones of long time members who chat about daily life. Some of these long term members have little time for relapsers or people struggling to find their way. AA seems to be the given answer. I'm not judging, and I am grateful for what is available.
Try the Class of December thread
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-pt-2-a-8.html

or the Under One Year thread maybe.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...rt-60-a-3.html (One Year and Under Club Part 60)

( for what its worth the Under One Year thread has more parts than the Over One Year thread does)

Try not to confuse constructive criticism for judgement wildflower.

Everyone here wants to see you live a happy sober life.

I don't think anyone can argue with that as a preferred outcome

Very few people here will tell you its OK to drink - but thats not the same as saying you're a loser, or you're unwelcome here, or we look down on you.

Your AV may try and twist it that way sure - but I've never forgotten what it was like to drink again and again over and over.

I don't think many of us have forgotten - which is why, more than ever, we want you to find that different path for yourself

we're on your side - really

D
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Old 12-25-2017, 05:53 PM
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Understood, wildflower. I know you're not judging. Please don't leave us - this can be done.
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Old 12-25-2017, 05:59 PM
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Originally Posted by wildflower70 View Post
I didn't make it Dee, I threw 45 days sober down the drain. I'm not into AA, I don't need impatient therapy. I can quit, but I can't stay that way. I always go back to my old friend (booze). I'm not sure if I should even be on this site anymore. This seems to be a site for people who stay sober.

This, of coarse could be irrational thoughts, or guilt.
Thank you Dee, Hevyn, least, and Anna.

As I said, I'm sure this irrational thinking and guilt. Guilt for not staying sober, shame to be posting that I drank instead of what I was going to do (self spa day at home). I am so grateful for the support here, it's my STINKING THINKING that gets the best of me.
I'm going to get back on the horse, start a new plan, get sober for a new year! I will stay here because I know it works (even when we don't think it's working) Love you all for your support...Thank you!!!
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Old 12-25-2017, 07:32 PM
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Originally Posted by wildflower70 View Post
Thank you Dee, Hevyn, least, and Anna.

As I said, I'm sure this irrational thinking and guilt. Guilt for not staying sober, shame to be posting that I drank instead of what I was going to do (self spa day at home). I am so grateful for the support here, it's my STINKING THINKING that gets the best of me.
I'm going to get back on the horse, start a new plan, get sober for a new year! I will stay here because I know it works (even when we don't think it's working) Love you all for your support...Thank you!!!
Wildflower, it is HARD. You coming on here shows you are trying and you want it. You WILL get this. You need to believe that, because it's true. Keep fighting until you win.
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Old 12-25-2017, 09:32 PM
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Dee,

Thanks as always for putting out such a supportive message. I hope you enjoyed your Christmas!

❤️Delilah
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Old 12-25-2017, 09:37 PM
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Wildflower,

The links that Dee posted are great ones. The monthly classes are perfect because everyone is around the da e point in recovery, so you should definitely Jin the December class.

You mentioned how it seems everyone is just checking in and sharing about their lives in some of the threads, and there is definitely a lot of that, the reason it happens is because many of us do log on here daily, often times more than once, and we have built a supportive community. We are here to celebrate the good things in our lives, and support through the tough. It would be great for you to become part of this community.

❤️Delilah
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