Day 5 and it is as hard as ever
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: South Africa, Durban/Cape Town
Posts: 217
Day 5 and it is as hard as ever
First of all, Merry Christmas to everyone. I hope you all have a wonderful, sober day.
Today is gonna be my biggest test. The previous days were also hard but they won't be as difficult as today. It's Christmas and I will be with my immediate and extended famiily today. Last time I drank was on Wednesday night. And it was because of all the BS that happens between the two sides of my extended family (they came over on Wednesday night).
I am from South Africa, and mixed - Apartheid ended a couple of years before I was born, and the old wounds have remained. Being half black/half white here can be akin to traversing a minefield - be careful where you step. I can tolerate the BS that goes on with strangers but when it happend within my own extended family, it really drags me down. There have been family events in the past where it has almost kicked off. I drank on Wednesday because of this - extended family members bickering.
We are having Christmas at our house and my parents haveinformed extended family members if they cannot keep the peace, they should not turn up. I hope this Christmas will be a tranquil one. This racial bickering between extended family members is a huge trigger for me. More so than having friends attempting to drag me out or people in our house drinking in front of me. I know when it starts, getting that glass of wine is so easy for me. It just affects me terribly and I hate that it does.
I hope those extended family members prone to spouting their nonsense, can embrace the spirit of the day. I hope if they don't, I can stay strong enough and refuse to use wine as therapy. I don't wanna wake up hating myself tomorrow.
Have a great day folks.
Love you all.
Today is gonna be my biggest test. The previous days were also hard but they won't be as difficult as today. It's Christmas and I will be with my immediate and extended famiily today. Last time I drank was on Wednesday night. And it was because of all the BS that happens between the two sides of my extended family (they came over on Wednesday night).
I am from South Africa, and mixed - Apartheid ended a couple of years before I was born, and the old wounds have remained. Being half black/half white here can be akin to traversing a minefield - be careful where you step. I can tolerate the BS that goes on with strangers but when it happend within my own extended family, it really drags me down. There have been family events in the past where it has almost kicked off. I drank on Wednesday because of this - extended family members bickering.
We are having Christmas at our house and my parents haveinformed extended family members if they cannot keep the peace, they should not turn up. I hope this Christmas will be a tranquil one. This racial bickering between extended family members is a huge trigger for me. More so than having friends attempting to drag me out or people in our house drinking in front of me. I know when it starts, getting that glass of wine is so easy for me. It just affects me terribly and I hate that it does.
I hope those extended family members prone to spouting their nonsense, can embrace the spirit of the day. I hope if they don't, I can stay strong enough and refuse to use wine as therapy. I don't wanna wake up hating myself tomorrow.
Have a great day folks.
Love you all.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: South Africa, Durban/Cape Town
Posts: 217
You are right, Vman, it certainly isn't. A fleeting moment of pleasure isn't worth a lifetime of suffering. And that is what booze is - fleeting pleasure that brings on an eternity of hell.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
whatever happens today tiredwoman I believe you can stay sober - recovery's nit about never wanting to drink - it's about making the right choices and decisions when faced with that desire.
D
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 14
Stay strong
Originally Posted by tiredwoman 
First of all, Merry Christmas to everyone. I hope you all have a wonderful, sober day.
Today is gonna be my biggest test. The previous days were also hard but they won't be as difficult as today. It's Christmas and I will be with my immediate and extended famiily today. Last time I drank was on Wednesday night. And it was because of all the BS that happens between the two sides of my extended family (they came over on Wednesday night).
I am from South Africa, and mixed - Apartheid ended a couple of years before I was born, and the old wounds have remained. Being half black/half white here can be akin to traversing a minefield - be careful where you step. I can tolerate the BS that goes on with strangers but when it happend within my own extended family, it really drags me down. There have been family events in the past where it has almost kicked off. I drank on Wednesday because of this - extended family members bickering.
We are having Christmas at our house and my parents haveinformed extended family members if they cannot keep the peace, they should not turn up. I hope this Christmas will be a tranquil one. This racial bickering between extended family members is a huge trigger for me. More so than having friends attempting to drag me out or people in our house drinking in front of me. I know when it starts, getting that glass of wine is so easy for me. It just affects me terribly and I hate that it does.
I hope those extended family members prone to spouting their nonsense, can embrace the spirit of the day. I hope if they don't, I can stay strong enough and refuse to use wine as therapy. I don't wanna wake up hating myself tomorrow.
Have a great day folks.
Love you all.
Today is gonna be my biggest test. The previous days were also hard but they won't be as difficult as today. It's Christmas and I will be with my immediate and extended famiily today. Last time I drank was on Wednesday night. And it was because of all the BS that happens between the two sides of my extended family (they came over on Wednesday night).
I am from South Africa, and mixed - Apartheid ended a couple of years before I was born, and the old wounds have remained. Being half black/half white here can be akin to traversing a minefield - be careful where you step. I can tolerate the BS that goes on with strangers but when it happend within my own extended family, it really drags me down. There have been family events in the past where it has almost kicked off. I drank on Wednesday because of this - extended family members bickering.
We are having Christmas at our house and my parents haveinformed extended family members if they cannot keep the peace, they should not turn up. I hope this Christmas will be a tranquil one. This racial bickering between extended family members is a huge trigger for me. More so than having friends attempting to drag me out or people in our house drinking in front of me. I know when it starts, getting that glass of wine is so easy for me. It just affects me terribly and I hate that it does.
I hope those extended family members prone to spouting their nonsense, can embrace the spirit of the day. I hope if they don't, I can stay strong enough and refuse to use wine as therapy. I don't wanna wake up hating myself tomorrow.
Have a great day folks.
Love you all.
Control over. Don’t make your own nonsense by drinking today! Merry Sober Christmas!
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Northwest
Posts: 4,215
Happy Christmas, sweetie. Remember, you don’t have to play their game. You can go for a walk, listen to music, help clean up, or just disappear for a while...that’s the one good thing about big family gatherings.
Be strong. You can do this.
Sending you a hug.
Be strong. You can do this.
Sending you a hug.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Family BS, family trauma, addiction, abuse by family members....etc etc. This is why I moved away from my family. They are nuts. I visit once a year, keep the peace but I keep my distance for my own sanity. I cannot drink 'over' what happens. I'm sure you've heard this one but drinking over or at someone or something is like swallowing poison and expecting the other person to die. Hmmmmmm. Hang in there!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
You've gotten great advice so far. I always have an escape plan. If others act up, I leave - truly I can't be around stuff like that, and I don't have to be. Drinking only hurts you, tw.
May you find some joy in this day. Jesus came and his only wish was that we love one another. It's not always easy, though.
May you find some joy in this day. Jesus came and his only wish was that we love one another. It's not always easy, though.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
I am sorry for what you have been enduring with your family.
It sounds traumatic and quite emotional. I cant say that I know what you are going through, but I do have compassion for you and anyone in your shoes.
The best gift you can give to yourself is to remain sober, level headed and grounded.
Merry Christmas to you and yours!
It sounds traumatic and quite emotional. I cant say that I know what you are going through, but I do have compassion for you and anyone in your shoes.
The best gift you can give to yourself is to remain sober, level headed and grounded.
Merry Christmas to you and yours!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,500
Tiredwoman, Merry Christmas!
Something I've learned here at SR is that many people step away from their families of origin and choose their closest friends as family. That is something that I have done after stepping away from my family of origin ages ago. Do not allow people to enter your home and cause you pain. Your home should be a refuge, a safe place.
Something I've learned here at SR is that many people step away from their families of origin and choose their closest friends as family. That is something that I have done after stepping away from my family of origin ages ago. Do not allow people to enter your home and cause you pain. Your home should be a refuge, a safe place.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: South Africa, Durban/Cape Town
Posts: 217
So much great advice here. So much of it which has helped me. I am okay. Goid actually. Everyone seems to be on their best behaviour. I am drinking mango juice. No wine for me!!!!
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