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How many are sober who don't do steps?

Old 12-24-2017, 02:42 PM
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How many are sober who don't do steps?

Just wondering because a lot of aa think it's the only way.
Don't mean to offend
Thanks
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Old 12-24-2017, 02:52 PM
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People tend to believe that whatever worked for them will work for everyone. Add to that the fact that getting sober for most of us is a HUGE event in our lives. We want to share that with someone else and help them, too. Some people get overzealous with it, but it comes from a good place.

I never worked the steps, but they work for many people. What is working for you?
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Old 12-24-2017, 02:57 PM
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Hey Miko,

I think we gotta do what we gotta do to remain Sober, there are many ways to achieving the common goal of Sobriety and they're not all the same, SR is testament to that, there are many different sections within the Forum that have many different people remaining Sober through different ways.

I personally didn't get Sober through working the AA or other steps, they were something I learnt about and complimented my original plan for Sobriety afterwards.

Sobriety though I think has some common themes, I needed to revolutionise my lifestyle, my habits, my actions, the people I associated with, I had to get honest and get real about my drinking, commit to it being all or nothing, no half measures, and do everything in my power to make it stick by ensuring I had plenty of daily support.

The steps I guess provide a clear, tried and tested method to get started, that many can testify worked for them, but the same result can be achieved though more of a DIY approach to creating an individual plan.

The common denominator here though is that there is a plan, and it's executed robustly, nothing is left to chance or wishful thinking!!
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Old 12-24-2017, 03:01 PM
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I am an AAer, I know many that haven't done the steps and have long term sobriety. I did them and can say that I am grateful for what they have done for me. The steps help you to view your life objectively, make changes where needed, and accept the world around us. I would suggest taking the steps because they will help you. Will they keep you sober? I don't know. I stay sober because I don't drink. I lost all desire to drink because while doing the steps I had a spiritual awakening. I continued to work the steps because they helped me to think differently and I saw positive changes in my life. Are they the only way to change? NO, but I am one not to reinvent the wheel. I did that all through my drinking career and I always ended up back at the beginning feeling worse.

Good luck
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Old 12-24-2017, 03:34 PM
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The steps are pretty close to the things I was taught to do to lead a good life, but I've never been in AA or had a sponsor.

D
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Old 12-24-2017, 03:39 PM
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I've never done the steps and used counseling and this site for my recovery. I no longer see the counselor, just visit SR daily, and I've been sober 8 yrs.

I don't think it matters what you do, just that you put all your effort into it.
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Old 12-24-2017, 03:42 PM
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I'm coming up on 10 yrs. sober. I didn't do the steps, but I did receive counseling early on - & use SR every day.
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Old 12-24-2017, 03:52 PM
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No offence taken miko. I'm very greatful to AA for all that was provided to help me to get and stay sober, but I also agree wholeheartedly that AA is not the only way.

I think there are alot of folks who have gotten sober without the AA program. Many of them regularly attend AA meetings (but have not done all the steps). In the end only you can decide what is good for you and what you are willing do to.

All the best to you.
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Old 12-24-2017, 03:54 PM
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What they said.

Never did the steps or AA, but I think its like taking a different route to the same destination.

The important thing is to get there and try to avoid spending too much time lost a long the way.

We only get on shot at this rodeo...
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Old 12-24-2017, 04:10 PM
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I didn't do steps or AA. SR alone worked for me. I probably did an abridged version of the steps on my own.
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Old 12-24-2017, 04:36 PM
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There are countless paths to the same goal if you are willing to work them
You need to find what works for you and run with it.
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Old 12-24-2017, 04:57 PM
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I don't do steps but I am sure part of my plan includes things that are in the steps. I am big on take what helps and let the rest go by. I am also big on not judging what works for someone else. So just because AA is not the way for me doesn't mean that I cannot understand that it has been for others. My sobriety is a live and let live world. No being mean to the other travelers on the train.
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Old 12-24-2017, 05:31 PM
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I'm a firm believer in doing whatever works. I also believe that recovery is a very personal journey.

I have used many books and SR as my support in recovery, but I do not use AA.
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Old 12-24-2017, 07:03 PM
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No AA here. I used AVRT, went to a psych and SR!
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Old 12-24-2017, 07:15 PM
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I think the steps work best for people who have hit a low bottom. High functioning alcoholics/addicts have more trouble making the life changes required.
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Old 12-24-2017, 08:34 PM
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No steps here either; just a lot of SR and AVRT. Over 3 years sober now!
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Old 12-24-2017, 09:19 PM
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I have not done the steps either but chose to work recovery in my own way, and I am still working that out. I agree that its not necessarily which path to recovery you choose but that you are willing to work it and see it through no matter what.
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Old 12-24-2017, 09:38 PM
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Originally Posted by miamifella View Post
I think the steps work best for people who have hit a low bottom. High functioning alcoholics/addicts have more trouble making the life changes required.
I can very much relate to this. I had been living such an immoral life for such a long time, had destroyed so many relationships, including my family, essentially manipulated stole and lied to everyone I had met for half of my life. I NEEDED the steps and that moral inventory/restitution to make my life better to the point where I could even look myself in the eyes again in the mirror. I felt like I was the worst person alive. A caring sponsor and AA helped me to rebuild my self image and self respect.

Many people drank alone and didn't hurt many others. But the friendship and relationships I have built alone in AA are so worth the attendance, even if you put the steps aside. Having not just sober people in my life but sober people in RECOVERY, who understand my daily struggles (and all of my craziness :P) is one of the best parts of my life today.

That being said - it even says in our textbook, the AA big book, that AA is not the only way and we should not condemn others who seek another path.

I wish you the best of luck - whatever your journey may be!!!
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Old 12-24-2017, 09:49 PM
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Good question

The person I asked to sponsor me is having me do 90/90(90 meetings in 90 days), read Just for Today(I'm in NA) every morning followed by a text with my take on it, one page of the Basic Text a day, and a phone call every day. He's teaching me patience, and I asked him to be my sponsor because he is serious about his recovery, and humble. So right now I am not working the steps, but will be in 62 days.
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Old 12-24-2017, 10:13 PM
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I'm only 23 days sober so in a lot of ways my contribution means very little. But I'm not doing the steps either.

Interestingly I Googled the 12 steps last night, to read what each one actually was (just the titles and a brief synopsis of each). I couldn't do the steps because even though you can choose what your Higher Power is - there would be too many people in the room that would pick their HP to be the Lord. My life has been so damaged by loss that I lost all Faith and cannot be around it despite trying/reading/studying very hard.

I guess I could be a deist in later life - I just struggle with theism. But maybe this is slightly veering too far away from AA - if so I apologise.

JT
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