anxiousrock

I feel like I’m always in the same position and not getting anywhere.
I’ve been going to some meetings, even a new one I like a lot.
I start with a new counselling program in January.
I’ve been going to the gym.
But I still can’t stop drinking.
I want to stop so bad. I’m sick of lying, embarrassing myself and just overall feeling like a failure.
Why is it so hard?

Toughroad1209

Our minds can be wired to believe alcohol is a need for us but it's literally a cancer!...we have to have a plan against it...to not take that first drink because if you anything like me...first drink can lead to a disrespectful, embarrassing, self centered individual and I can't take another day of that to my family...you deserve happiness we all do...find an AA group or other means of help but the main thing is to battle yourself...don't take that 1st drink

entropy1964

Hi Anarock

It is hard. If it weren't we wouldn't all be here. Addiction is cunning, baffling and powerful. I know here in the US we are just an addicted culture. Addicted to food...people are eating themselves to death all around us. Addicted to technology....social media and the big corps that created it know exactly how to control minds and they do it masterfully. Drugs, big pharma loves it. So, yeah, its hard because its everywhere. Its hard because it changes our brains. Yup.

For me I guess I had to realize that drinking was just not an option (and even knowing that hasn't always stopped me in the past). I have to completely accept that I cannot drink, no matter what. And then accept myself for exactly who I am....the good the bad and the ugly. Accept the past. Let go of the illusion of control. And mostly accept that booze doesn't 'work'. That's a huge lie. The biggest. And its hard at first. Accept that. Follow the AA program, or some other program. Do what others who have been successful in sobriety tell me to do. Listen. Stop being reactive. Find new ways to live and new ways to cope, truly cope, with life on life's terms.

Happy Holidays. You can choose not to drink today. I think that's what I'll do too.

Countrylife

I’m with you on that the way I look at it we rewired our brain and we didn’t get to where we are overnight so it’s gonna take sometime I’m day 2 I’ve had more day 1s then sober days but it hasn’t stopped me from trying I’m starting to slowly change my lifestyle to help the tiggers the way I was living would and has stop me from making progress I’ve been told it’s only as hard as you make it best wishes to you keep fighting stay strong

tomsteve

good on ya for going to meetings. meetings are great.however, going to meetings and not drinking doesnt treat alcoholism. its the steps we take, not the meetings we make, that does it.
its hard because its worth it.

Nonsensical

At one time in my life I couldn't ride a bicycle. Then I learned how.

It isn't that you can't be sober. You just haven't learned how, yet.

Stand up.
Dust off.
Get back on.
Learn to ride.
You can do this.

doggonecarl

Good question. Phrase it as "Why is it so hard for me?" Once you have the answer, maybe you can tackle it.

What's hard?

Accepting you can't drink, ever?

Saying no to the voice that tells you to drink? Believing the lies it tells you?

Do you tell yourself, "Last time, then I'll quit"

Or do you tell yourself, "I can't." Or are you convinced that you have "reasons" to drink?

There are a lot of hurdles to sobriety. Then can be gotten over. Everyone who has any sober time has done it. So can you.

Tonymblue

You’re right about the hard part. Its the most difficult thing I’ve ever done. But the most rewarding.

Gabe1980

I dont know Anarock, Im finding it really hard too. But we can do it and I know the sense on achievement when we have is sussed will be awesome. Keep trying, you'll get there. We both will! Gabe x

Anna

Anarock, it's simple, but it's very hard. Have you committed yourself to never drinking alcohol again? You can get rid of the alcohol that you have at home, and decide to never buy more.

I'm glad to hear you're starting a new counselling program. Taking action is the key.

Delilah1

Hi Anarock,

I'm sorry you are struggling, but so glad you came here and posted. It's great that you are going to meetings, and finding some that are a good fit for you.

I promise that sobriety gets easier as time goes by, you just have to get past the initial few days. You have the opportunity to start 2018 with a week of sobriety, and have a sober year. I am sharing Dee's post about getting through the holidays, it is a good one. I will also find his post about having a recovery plan and share it.

Stick close by here, and just focus on today. You can so this one day at s time.

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ers-2-0-a.html (Thanksgiving and Xmas Survival Guide vers 2.0)

Delilah1

Here I see the link for recovery plans.

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...very-plan.html (What exactly is a recovery plan?)

scarly

I totally understand what you're saying, Anarock... I was scared of a life w/o alcohol. Seemed impossible to me. I was also terrified of the withdrawals....shakes, DT'S, seizures, itching, and thinking "I've drank myself, again, to the point of severe withdrawals...now I have to go to the hospital"....but I had been to every hospital in my area so many times that the nurses, doctors, and even most of the ambulance EMT's know me by name.....so embarrassment became what kept me from going...so I felt my only option was to drink again just to stop the withdrawals....and so the cycle continued..... I got to the point that I was drinking mouthwash. Don't let it get that bad!!!! Seek help now !!! Are you at the point where you have bad withdrawals when you don't drink ??

courage2

Anarock, it *is* hard -- but in some way, it's incredibly easy. You just have to give up. Let go of deciding.

You don't have to drink.

Give yourself up to the mercy of everything that will help you -- your counselor, the AA program, God, whatever.

The two best things I did were to give up trying to run my own life, and accept the help I was offered, unconditionally.

scarly

But.....I did it....I went to the hospital....detoxed....then went to Rehab for 43 days....got out and moved into a 3/4 house. I've been living here a month. Just received my 60 day sobriety coin !! So...I CAN be done. If THIS alcoholic can do it,...then YOU can TOO !!!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS !!!! I'm not going anywhere today. So...I'll be here all day and night to talk if you need to. I'm here for you. We ALL are.... But just to let you know what magic CAN happen in just two months of sobriety.... tomorrow...I'm going to see my family for the first time in 2 years. They finally believe that I'm serious.

PurpleKnight

I went round and round in circles for a long time, and it eventually boiled down to trying something new, changing up my plan as many times as needed to finally make it stick.

Support and something outside of myself to keep me focused in the moments that I felt like drinking, was important, which is were SR came in, a 24/7/365 resource for when my addiction tried to convince me otherwise.

Radical steps in my habits, the people I came into contact with and the activities I got involved in, were needed, I couldn't drink if I never bought any alcohol, and so figuring out how to stop that happening and getting radical about it was needed.

You can do this, don't give up!!

least

You're right, it's hard as hell. You just have to accept that you can't drink no matter what. You will be able to stay sober when you want to be sober more than you want to drink.

blueberry2015

You do need a plan to put down the drink first off, that itself is the first stage, meetings, counselling etc are great, but you do need a plan to stop drinking. It would be dangerous to suggest just to stop, definately do not do this without consulting your doctor. Go see your doctor x

Dee74

Hows it goiugn anarock - some awesome advice here.

I really believe it's easier not to drink than to keep on drinking.
Make this Christmas the time you decided to go a different route

D

Done4today

Because it's worth it.

Happy holidays and don't give up!