prodigyc0re

So I'm 32....been drinking heavily (10-12 beers a night) for 4 years.....had about 3 weeks of sobriety in that time frame (alltogether). About a month ago I got a horrible panic attack. Was in the middle of Target and felt like I was gonna die or have a stroke or a heart attack or a seizure......my palms were sweaty, my feet were hot/tingling, my legs felt like jelly, and my equilibrium was ******.

Since then I've had about 2 more of that level attacks....and in the afternoons at work I've had increasing symptoms. By about 3-4pm at work, it starts getting REALLY bad...I'm a social worker at a nursing home....and I can't even walk on the floors to talk to residents...I just start feeling like i'm going to pass out or lose it...and I escape.

I'm actively being seen at the VA for this.....first they tried trazadone and gabapentin....didn't work, though I didn't try long...the gaba made me feel super "cloudy" and off......(that was a year prior to the panic attacks). Then I went back and got Hydroxizine and Lexapro.......the Hydroxizine (which I tried because I got it 2 days before my first panic attack) was just kinda glorified benadryl. I had a panic attack for 3 hours that day at target. Thought I was having withdrawals so I ran to a bar, got a shot, and a beer, and it didn't help. Sat in the back of my brothers car trying to not freak out for the next 2 1/2 hours.

I had another one last night....thought I was gonna have a seizure....got horrible temporal buzzing....and thought I was gonna seize in front of my 4 year old daughter. Dropped her off and drove home.....had to pull over 5 times just to collect myself.

The doc knows that she can't really properly help without eliminating alcohol as a contributing factor...and i'm totally okay with that. I'm just scared ******** of having really bad withdrawals. She said I shouldn't be because it takes years and years of drinking to have this occur but I can't tell my body that. She recommended inpatient treatment and I will happily go but it's christmas weekend and I don't want to go at this time of the year....I'm going to taper myself off (which I've done before...hell 2 weeks ago I was sober for 4 nights...but then had a panic attack so I drank again).

I need help....advice...reassurance......anything anyone can offer. I missed my oldest's daughters recital due to a panic attack 3 days ago......Any help or advice would be appreciated. Thank you for reading.

least

Welcome to the family. I know panic attacks are scary, but drinking only makes them worse. Drinking causes anxiety after the alcohol wears off. That's what started me drinking in the morning, to stop the shakes and anxiety.

I hope our support can help you get sober for good. My anxiety is nowhere near what it was when I was drinking. Sober is better.

rascalwhiteoak

Welcome, prodigy. Being rid of unnecessary anxiety was one of the greatest parts of getting sober, but I had to take that first step of cutting out alcohol. My life in general is just calmer now.

Anna

Stopping drinking will help your anxiety/panic attacks. Many of us here deal with this issue, me included. I still have anxiety and sometimes have panic attacks, but things were so much worse when I was drinking.

I hope that you decide to stop drinking.

Delilah1

Welcome Prodigy,

I am so glad you found us. I am another one who can relate to anxiety, and panic attacks. I can promise your anxiety will be much less sober, and you will be able to handle it a lot better.

I have never done inpatient, but many on here have, and have had great experiences. Is it possible to go to the ER tonight to help with withdrawal/anxiety? Do you have anyone home with you?

PennyLane76

Hi prodigy. I feel you. My increasing alcohol use skyrocketed my anxiety and panic attacks. The worst withdrawal I had was after a one week relapse, so I'm not sure it's a given to predict anyone's withdrawal experience. I see people on here drinking very heavily for years and say they feel great after a few days! What I regret is not going to medicated detox. I hope you go.

Dee74

Welcome

Like the others here the best thing I did for my panic attacks was stop drinking.

I know the tendency is to keep drinking a little/taper to try and minimize the attacks but stopping drinking probably won't stop them dead immediately...but continuing to drink on them might make them worse.

Breathing exercises have helped me with my panic attacks a little

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...echniques.html (Breathing Techniques)

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum Prodigy!!

Berrybean

You may be feeling that if you go for inpatient now it will ruin Christmas for those who live you. Thing is, having you around them on a taper is likely to be stressfulto them as well. If you're looking to spare them pain or worry, I'd seriously reconsider inpatient. Likelihood is that the thing they want is for you to be safe and get sober. Getting the help you need could well be the best Christmas gift to them (and yourself) you ever give.

BB

prodigyc0re

Well, I went crazy hard last night....had like probably 30 beers since my brother was visiting in town....and I feel like CRAP today.....I've had a few beers already....but I am definitely never doing that again, I haven't had a session like that since I was like 20. I will definitely do inpatient if I can't make progress this weekend/week. Nothing is worth having these panic attacks and constant anxiety. I refuse to live like this for the rest of my life. And I'm struggling and I know alot of you will judge me for even drinking today...but I'm just being honest and forthcoming. I need help, I know I do, and that's why I am being honest. I'm not gonna lie and sugarcoat crap to get responses from people.

I looked for an AA meeting in my area and you can't find crap online in my experience. I live in "Gary New duluth" in Duluth, MN. If any of you have contacts I would greatly appreciate some contacts.

I'm scared...I'm nervous....but ultimately I want a change. A friend of mine gave me some ativan last night (I didn't take it, just to keep on hand in case I started freaking out). Has anyone had any experience with this? I don't want to rely on benzo's by any means, but if it helps me break this spell I'll gladly do what I can.

I'm struggling with what is just a general hangover and what is a medical/psyche issue. All day my head has felt "cloudy", my body feels wierd, but like a hangover as well. A few times even after drinking I've felt a slow build up...but I was able to talk myself down.

It's a rough road to start on...but I assure you I'm gonna take this to the full extent....and I could really use some support. I don't mind if people are objective, but please don't be negative I respond really poorly to that.....Thank you for all the replies...I thought I would get emails for replies but apparently I haven't yet I'll have to check my settings.

Dee74

I wouldn't take meds not prescribed for me. If you think you need something like ativan the best thing is to see your Dr - be honest about your drinking, and see what they suggest.

Noones going to judge you for drinking and noone expects you to sugar coat anything.

I do think if you continue to drink you're only going to make the situation worse for yourself.

I hope you'll continue to think about inpatient as an option -being frank, it doesn't sound to me like you've got much of a hold on the situation right now. (edited to add - I hope you don't find that negative I meant it as an objective comment - clearly 30 plus beers is a session is far from what we want to see for you and what you want for yourself.)

If an AA meeting is something you'd consider going to in the immediate future, I think thats one way to take a step forward for sure.

D

Inchworm

Welcome, prodigy. My heart is with you. Panic episodes are a really good reason to stop the madness.

Berrybean

No, you won't find much sugarcoating here. Although saying that I couldn't see any replies on this thread that might have sparked the comment about negative responses from others. Do you mean that people had been negative already, or just that you're concerned that they might be?

Anyway. Wishing you all the best for your journey. I really do hope you'll reconsider the inpatient option,

BB

MindfulMan

Commit to inpatient after Christmas. A few more days of drinking isn’t going to kill you....hopefully.

Inpatient, including medical detox, was the start of my journey, and it worked brilliantly.

prodigyc0re

I'll happily commit to inpatient after tomorrow if that's what will work. So yesterday I ended up drinking about 16 beers....and at about 2am, I started taking my pulse...over and over.....for like an hour....then I took a hydroxizine.....and kept taking my pulse.....it was around 100. I then called a local nurse line. They said "Well you can always go in and rule it out". They sent EMS as I have a fire station literally a block away...he took my vitals, said I was fine except my pulse..and I said that's all I needed was some reassurance.

I know I don't have a good hold on things for sure......and no, thank you for everyone being very nice and objective, I just know how people are with people with addictions......what's the most frustrating for this is people are just like "dude don't think about it".

It's easier said then done.

I truly believe my alcohol use is exacerbating everything and I just want to not feel like this anymore. I literally cannot live like this the rest of my life. I spent all morning sitting up in my bed staring at the ground trying to talk myself out of a panic attack. I've had 5 beers and I'm not thinking about it anymore.. It's like the only thing that makes it go away....but my plan is to have maybe 4-5 more, and go back to sleep and tomorrow drinking less, and going from there.

I'm crying as I type this. I just want this to be over with and It's so frustating when you don't have any coping skills for this and people just think it's easy to just turn it off when it's not. I wish I could. I happily would.

I'm sick of feeling like this.

I feel like I have no control over myself right now.

Dee74

It sounds to me like you need a medical detox - at least that way you can be sure it's a safe and supervised process.

After that? rehab if you're open to the idea and can afford it.

Drinking however many beers a day is just going to ramp up that anxiety to insane levels man.

D

prodigyc0re

Oh I'm not against that at all ha. I mean, obviously I don't want to admit that's what I need but if it's going to fix what's going on with me I'll do anything.

What was your journey like Dee if I may ask?

Can anyone provide me input as to someone who drank heavily and then all the sudden got panic attacks and anxiety issues and how it played out? I think that would help too.

The hard part of this is going through this alone heh. Haven't had a g/f for like 3 years.

Dee74

I'll have to refer you to the Cliff Notes today as I'm just off out for Christmas prodigyc0re :

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-part-one.html (Dee74's story - Part One)

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-part-2-a.html (Dee's Story Part 2)

with regards anxiety - I've had it all my life and I still have it - but it's never been less than it is now.

I attribute that to no longer drinking and to working on all the underlying issues I used to drink over

D

thisisforellie

I know about the panic attacks. They get much better after drinking. But another thing that REALLY helped me was to not fight them. When they come on, I say to myself 'I don't like this, but I can tolerate it" It seems counterintuitive, but much of the panic attack is the worry about the feelings, and that feeds on itself. Try to sit with the feelings next time, and treat it as "practice". You will see the emotions change in your body, and they peak and then they lessen when you don't worry them back into panic. This realization really really helped me. It is a power that you have, in addition to sobriety. Hope this helps!

thisisforellie

This is almost exactly what happened to me. And the drinking made the panic attacks ten times worse.

Sobriety was the first big thing that helped. Honestly, nothing else helped while I was still drinking, because booze fuels the anxiety and the attacks so much.

The next big thing that helped me in my first years of sobriety was taking a Mindfulness Meditation. This really helped me stop the cycle of panic, thinking, and more panic.

And probiotics -- especially "lactobacillus rhamnosus" -- was VERY helpful. Taking these probiotics effectively ended the attacks, almost. Incredible grateful for that.

Exercise and proper therapy and medical care is very important. (Like, now I take a small dose of antidepressants for OCD -- I was self-medicating before with alcohol.)

I've been down almost exactly the same road, with the drinking and the panic attacks. It can get better. You can feel steady and strong again. So have hope!