mrrryahj

My recommendations based on personal experience and what you are describing:
1) Detoxification Center (they will taper you comfortably and properly in a safe environment)
2) In-patient Treatment Center (this sometimes includes the detox bit described in 1) - depending on the facility.

Best x-mas gift you could ever give yourself and your loved ones.

prodigyc0re

Well, after my previous post...I decided to use one night to "taper". I had 7-8 beers that day slowly spread out after the afternoon, and haven't had a drink since 1030pm that night. So tonight would be 72 hours sober. I have no urge to drink at all but I've also been a hermit and obviously not sleeping well. I usually don't fall asleep until 9 or 10am now (yes I normally work days but my boss is being very understanding) and then I sleep for about 5 hours then I've woke up. Like today I woke up at about 230pm.

Been taking the recommended gabapentin and clonidine my doctor gave me, no Benzo's, as that's basically just giving me an "out", and I don't want that.

Physically I feel better than I have in awhile except for this damn vertigo.

At home I'm completely fine, I could do backflips (okay not really, but I don't get dizzy or feel weak in the knees).

I did a "test run" today, drive my ex to get her dog pills (she asked to borrow my car) and then took my kids to walmart.

Driving got sketchy at times...like when there's a lot of cars on the road I get occasional "haziness".

Then I start thinking I'm going to have a seizure...and then I try to concentrate on something else.

Vet's office was fine, drove her home, drove the kids to walmart.

Got in walmart and everything was going okay until about 10 minutes in.....legs started feeling a LITTLE weird but I was like "no...you're fine ryan, you're taking your meds etc"

By the time I got to the front I would say they got to about 50% of how bad they'd get when I was drinking. We then left, I went to arbys' for the kids, then went to the gas station. Inside the gas station started getting the same sensation (It always comes in random waves)so I checked out, started putting gas in my truck, and they were getting pretty amped up (my legs, slightly tingly etc) so I finished like 40 cents early on the gas pump and once I got back in the truck I was fine.

My ears feel kinda plugged so for all I know this could be something related to an infection and my vestibular system but it's like...once I start feeling one little symptom, they start racking up.

Anyone else gone through this? Is this a withdrawal thing or me just being crazy and just some kind of sinus infection? I know we're speculating.

Thank you all for your input!

Dee74

lot of folks find they feel a little off colour in the immediate withdrawal period.

My theory is we massively overload our immune system drinking and drugging - then it kinda falls in a heap when we quit.

It takes a little time for that to recuperate.

D

prodigyc0re

Went to the store by myself today. Felt mostly fine driving. Got to the store and felt a little weird, then I drove to another gas station and kinda braced myself up against the counter, but I'm pretty sure it's meds I'm on, or at least that's what I'm telling myself so I don't freak out, I definitely feel better than yesterday though, and yes still sober.

Got a fridge full of Dr. Pepper, and a pizza waiting for me in the freezer. Absolutely no urge to go get a drink because I do NOT want to go through this crap again. Ever.

I'm so glad that I've had my father as a support system....and my boss....and everyone here who's commented and given me good advice.

I'm not over the hill yet by any means, but I'm finally starting to feel better, my face isn't red ha, my eyes aren't bloodshot.....I'm seeing progress....and it makes me happy and proud.

prodigyc0re

Well, 12 days sober and counting. The dizziness, vertigo etc is due to fluid behind my ear drum that was confirmed yesterday, and other than that, every aspect of my life has gotten better.

Last night was the first night I got a decent nights sleep, 6 hours. Usually I'll either sleep 2-3 or sleep at odd times like when I get home from work then I would be up all night.

I have absolutely no cravings, am spending a LOT less money due to not being so worried about having beer at home, and am not binge eating, hell I even feel like I've lost weight, but i'm not sure.

My anxiety is basically non-existent. It comes a little bit when I get spinny due to my ear stuff, but other than that absolutely no issues the last few days. I can DEFINITELY see how the first week or so is the hardest for people because even after not drinking for a few days or even a week, you feel so weird and out of it that you just want those feelings to go away. My first week sucked alot. Not because I wanted to drink, but because I was so anxious, fearful, had mild auditory hallucinations and visual ones, or just kept seeing things out of the corner of my eye and THINKING i saw something.

I just want to thank everyone for listening to me and reading these posts, I have MUCH better hygiene, and I am motivated to do chores ha, and I have been the first person in the office all week this week (first time this has ever happened since i've worked there almost 2 years ago). My boss and colleagues were very impressed.

For those of you wondering if you should stop, or if you've stopped and are within just a few days, I can reassure you (though it's different timing for everyone I know) it gets better. Hell I'm only 12 days in and I notice a CONSIDERABLE change in how I feel physically and mentally.

I know I'm just starting down this path, but I'm making my way, and it feels fan-*******-tastic. Thank you everyone!

Berrybean

Thanks for checking in and updating us. What a change in such a short time.
Have you worked out a recovery plan for yourself yet? That would be the next step for maintaining your sobriety long term. Dee has some great threads on this.

BB

Arpeggioh

Man, you "sound" like a completely different person! All that panic and hysterical anxiety...self administered, just like so many of us. Just no way to live, and I'm so glad you came through the other side. We're all just a drink away from going straight back to it, too...that's the scary fact that keeps me sober. Too much pain, and just no gain! Carry on

Verdantia

Excellent, prodigy! So glad you're doing well. Your drinking habits were a lot like mine and I had a hard time of it--going a medical detox and inpatient rehab-- so I was worried you would have serious withdrawals. Alconol is very unpredictable in its effects. Keep up the excellent work, and don't forget that kindling is a very real thing--if you go back to the drink the subsequent withdrawals will be progressively worse. I can attest to this. Best wishes on your sober journey.

prodigyc0re

Well.....2 months later, and still sober. I have absolutely no desire to drink ever again. I'm scared to do most activities. I'm scared to go to work, scared to go into stores for prolonged periods of time.....let me tell you..it's been ******* rough (sorry).

Still having random dizziness (which I now associate with anxiety but it's triggers are random and not really indicative of anything specific....). Today I broke down crying at work because I feel like I have no control over my life anymore. I've called in more in the last 2 months then probably the last year combined... My boss has been good, but I work at a nursing home and I screen residents coming in with all these diagnoses and I just try to apply them to myself almost constantly.

I've had probably....5 days of no dizziness spells in the last 2 months. I'm on nothing right except lisinopril that my main doc put me on because of high blood pressure (mostly due to anxiety i'm sure, and no more drinking), he told me it would just be a few months.

I've lost 26lbs and counting. All my labs came back good, my liver enzymes were just 43 which i guess the high range is 35 (a year and a half ago it was over 300) so i'm seeing progress there.

I guess I really need help you guys in the sense of I need reassurance. I am absolutely not worried about drinking as I'm scared ******** of ever touching it again. But now I'm pretty much scared of living. It's like ever since that day a couple motnhs ago a whole new life has bestowed itself upon me and I can't ******* take it much longer.

It seems the drinking was masking some things going on that I wasnt' even aware of and the anxiety finally peeked her way through with a vengeance. I have little victories here and there....but overall my days suck. I can't even get through a full days work without feeling like I'm gonna pass out or fall over at some point.


Please...someone who has gnoe through this...I know it's different for everyone, but please....Tell me it gets better. I refuse to take any benzo's adn the only thing the doc has given me is gabapentin which I took but it makes me feel foggy and guess what, DIZZY so I think it'd be pretty counterproductive.

I just want my life back. I want some form of control. I don't want to feel like I need to teach my 11 year old son how to call 911 so if I am able to get them to a beach this summer I can have solacne knowing if I pass out he'll be able to help. I'm so sick of all of it. I'm doing everything right here...I quit drinking and I dont' even care about the **** anymore....I'm so happy I lost weight...and I want to live a long life....but I cannot see how the hell I'm going to survive like this for the rest of my life. I really hope someone can sympathize with this and tell me how much better things are now.....

Berrybean

Hey. You know, THIS is why I needed support and a recovery plan.
I got to a month and felt just as you do now. The docs confirmed to me that my dizzy episodes were in fact the result of anxiety and showed me some breathing exercises to use to get through them, which I used and really did help. And getting to some AA meetings and listening to others talk about what it was like for them, what happened and what their new life in recovery was like really helped me hold on to a bit of hope.

I've already posted this from Earl Hightower on one thread this morning, but feel it's pertinent for this thread as well..

It’s True

When I stopped drinking, everything hurt. My body, my brain and my heart. I couldn’t see any way that was going to ever change. Once again, I was wrong. There was a whole world out there. A world with a totally different approach to life that made all things possible. I just had to follow a few simple steps. Walking those first few miles on this new path was agony. The pain of my experience was mitigated only by the look in a few peoples eyes that led me to believe that they had some answers. I kept going. Slowly, things got better. One day I looked inside and the joy was no longer in their eyes; it was in me.

I pray that you stay on the path until that day becomes yours.

Love,
E


Things do get better, but not just accidentally. We need to work on our recovery. Just removing the booze rarely cuts of for an alcoholic. We need to add other stuff in. And that other stuff is our recovery plan... https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...y-plans-1.html (Psst...wanna know why I'm always recommending recovery plans?)

It is Recovery that makes sobriety bearable, sustainable, comfortable, then (some day) preferable to drinking. Without it we are just stuck in a vortex. A void.

BB

Dee74

Hi ProdigycOre
I'm really sorry about the dizzyness/anxiety. I never really had that symptom but I certainly have dealt with anxiety all my life.

It's never been better than it is now. You'll notice elsewhere today here I had a freak out about my health, but even that was not the nights and nights of no sleep it used to be.

I'm better now at asking for help too - I think thats vital

D

prodigyc0re

I'm not opposed to going to meetings...and literally nothing, no amount of money, no amount of "it'll feel better if you drink" is going to make me drink again because I'm scared ******** of the "second time" being sober. I just need reassurance that it gets better. I appreciate the insight. I wan to find something to do to take my mind off it, and playing video games at night helps, but I also want to go to the gym, do physical things to help me get in better shape etc, but I can't even go to work for more than 4-5 hours without having a horrible afternoon of feeling horribly dizzy.

Buckley3

Yoga maybe? Gratz on the sobriety... 2 months rocks. Wishing you the best to find something that tames the anxiety.

Dee74

if things didn;t get better none of would be on this site very long

D