Mick75

Hi all,
Today my depression got the best of me, and I went to a bar, I'm working out of state away from my family. I just didn't want to feel the blackness anymore, I had a drink, caught myself and left the bar. Now I'm alone in this hotel room, wanting another drink. I bought a coloring book, and a lot of candy, but it is gonna be a long night. I should have told my boss "No I can not go out of town." I didn't and now I'm seeing where that choice has left me. I have candy coloring pages and club soda. I just want to beat this, one is too many, I know that but i took one and fried up the beast. Long night ahead but I think I will be ok. There is and AA meeting near here at 630am. I hate this.
Love ya all,
Mick

Zanna

It's not worth it, is it Just makes the beast think he's getting his leg over and he gets even more mad, when he finds out he isn't.
It's good that you stopped at one and sorry to hear you're struggling now.
The meeting in the morning, sounds like a good idea

Mick75

No it is not but I'm really enjoying this coloring book, it's Star Wars based and I'm enjoying it her much, my sponsor is going to call me soon.

Zanna

Sounds like you're coping brilliantly

SimplyFree

Love it. Colors are so soothing!

Dee74

Hi Mick

I'm sorry you drank but I'm glad you're fighting it

I dunno...maybe instead recovery vers 2,0 should be more about being able to go out of town, be alone, be a little depressed and still stay sober.

I think a good recovery plan should as well thought out and as flexible as you can make it so you deal with any situation and remain sober.

Recovery should never be conditional...you know?

D

entropy1964

Well Mick if that had been me I would have bought a bottle after that drink....so good on ya for stopping. I hope you see that as a huge victory.

I have to remind myself that all things pass, good and bad. Being able to sit with discomfort it really important. Obviously not ALL the time, but accepting that 'this' whole thing (life) can be challenging.

I hope things are looking up today.

theVman31

I drank after 4 months.
Im still having a hard time getting back on track.
I think you have to never put drink in your mouth.
Its just not worth it

thomas11

The relapse itself was usually exactly what I wanted, it was the withdrawal and recovery period that finally kept me away from booze.

tekink

The withdrawal and prolonged recovery are also what keep me away now. Withdrawals are freaking awful, it's like an excursion through insanity.

At 10 months without a drink I feel a lot better than I did after four months but I still don't feel that great. It's getting a lot easier but it's still not easy.

Mick75

Hi all,
Dee I agree with you, instead of saying No to my boss, I should have had a solid plan in place, knowing that I would be alone ect. My sponsor helped me a lot and i hit 3 meetings today. Friday I go home, so I have to be rock solid till then.
Thanks everyone.
Mick

SportsFan15

Me too. When I get tempted I think about the horribleness of withdrawal.

Hevyn

Mick - You learned something valuable. There's nothing in it anymore for us - and never can be. For me, the one drink would've led to 10 - and I'd be off and running for who knows how long. So - I think you did great by catching yourself.

Mick75

Thanks

MindfulMan

Congrats. You stopped at one, and your are taking good steps to keep it there. And got right back on the horse.

Good on ya.

Relapse is often part of the recovery process.

Dee74

I'm really glad you're turning it around Mick

D

Hevyn

Hope it's going ok today, Mick.

Mick75

I'm doing great today, everything is a learning experience and AA and this site are my rock.
Mick

Mick75

I'm getting on a plane to go home, if United air lines is in time, haha, anyway folks I did ok, and ok sober is just fine. Please everyone, stay close to your support, the next few days of holidays are difficult. Just call your sponsors, get to meetings, pray, color in books....just pleas3 don't drink. Fight with all you have, for tomorrow will be another battle but it will be better. If you don't have family close at hand, grab onto a shelter or AA group anything, just please don't drink or drug. Your a special wonderful person, don't cloud that with drugs. Fight, fight, with all you have, because your worth it. Ok, my flight is boarding, but I will check here often. Let's all be warriors and win this field, not with blood but with truth and love.
Love ya all,
Mick

Delilah1

Great advice Mick, I'm glad you were able to get right back. Have a safe flight home.