Notices

Returning

Old 12-21-2017, 10:44 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 69
Returning

I spent about a month here last dec-Jan, I spent a week sober then dove back due to pretty harsh issues. I’ve had some time off work and drank the whole time. Wake up drink watch tv/cell go to sleep repeat. I did talk to my brother which helped.

Anyway I woke up yesterday and today feeling the worse I have all year. Trying to drink water and throwing it up minutes later, freezing my ass off (and I live LA), sweating at the same time and shaking.

I obviously know why I feel this way but it’s bad and talking about it is helping. I know I did this. To myself.
We have a good ten days left this year. I’m going to try and tether down, I’m thinking I might be able to ween down from six but I might need 8. (I say need meaning to get to sleep)

And to many that I appreciate suggest official medical treatment, that’s not an option for me in my prospective career patah..
sonkien is offline  
Old 12-21-2017, 10:53 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Mr
 
theVman31's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: FRANCE
Posts: 5,230
Welcome back Sonkien.
Weening down never worked for me.
Its all or nothing.
Sooner or later back in self destruction mode.
Are you getting any other support or help ?
Do you want sobriety more than anything you have ever wanted before. Is it a clear objective ?
Take care of yourself
theVman31 is offline  
Old 12-21-2017, 11:05 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 69
Returning

I can’t say to be honest that I want it more than anything, but I can guarantee I need it more than a lot of things. My responses make me feel like I’m not ready, and I may not be but I’d like to try.

Without medical supervision I’d need to tether to lower my health risk doing this. Going cold turkey I had seizures or convulsions two years ago, I’m hungover to the point I can’t remember which.
sonkien is offline  
Old 12-21-2017, 11:08 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 69
Returning

I have the support of my brother, haven’t brought the problem up to anyone else, it’s really embarrassing. I’m sure my friends who drink a lot less and prior alcoholic dad would support me in thought, but I don’t feel comfortable coming to them with this
sonkien is offline  
Old 12-21-2017, 11:13 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 219
Sonkien, we’re here for you. You made a good decision to reach out here. We understand what you’re going through. We know it’s tough. I’m on day 4. I didn’t/ still am not sure I’m ready, but just staying tuned here and reading others’ stories has given me a lot of strength and clarity about what and how to proceed. It really is an hour by hour struggle. Do what you think is necessary for you. If it doesn’t work, come back. There’s no judgement here.
Magpie82 is offline  
Old 12-21-2017, 11:16 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
bona fido dog-lover
 
least's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,673
Welcome back!
least is offline  
Old 12-21-2017, 11:37 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 69
Returning

I appreciate you’re feedback and thoughts. I spent many hours here last dec-early Jan and it helped me so much, I quit for a week, then I turned back to old habits when I was devistated being denied to a school program which would give me a good career. I’m glad to be back and think this will be useful in trying to start recovery.

I got a call from my beat friend and we drink about a six pack each a week. (I drink a pint of vodka after he leaves) I didn’t answer his call which makes me feel bad but I didn’t want to let him know the place I was in due to shame. I plan on sobering enough to start tethering today and hopefully me at a point where we can have two beers Monday and that be it, hang out while drinks more and smoke a few cigarettes. And I hope either that wed or soon after I’ll have thether down and be sober

I really appreciate the no judgment and promise to try, I’m not positive I can do right now
sonkien is offline  
Old 12-21-2017, 11:41 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 69
Returning

I apologize for all my constant replies, a recent event that happened in my life not due to alcohol got me really worked up and I’m literally shaking here and think it’s time now for a change
sonkien is offline  
Old 12-21-2017, 12:05 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 219
I think we’re essentially in the same phase of recovery. Kind of hesitant, unsure of commiting. But I think the fact that we KNOW there’s a problem Is the first step? I managed to get 17 days back in October- before that it’d been years since I’d even taken one day off. I fell off, continued thinking moderation, and ended up right where I’d been pretty quickly. It’s embarrassing, and defeating. It’s helped me even while drinking to tune in to SR, even if I reach out at my lowest, people here understand and really care. I care about you! I don’t want you to hurt yourself anymore! I hope tapering down works for you. We all have inherent value, goodness, love, light inside, beneath the drinking and pain and anger. I want to find that thing.
Magpie82 is offline  
Old 12-21-2017, 01:34 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 69
Returning

I thank you for your kind words, and I will make my best attempt at making the tethering work. I wish you the best in recovery and I’d like to stop my cycle of a pint of vodka and a steel reserve, and my days off work add another pint. It’s the day drinking that messes me up but it’s all of it that has to go.

I will not day drink today and i will get no more then 6-8 to honestly start this change and transition
sonkien is offline  
Old 12-21-2017, 01:46 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 69
Returning

Sorry I didn’t include this with my last post, my heads an absolute mess. Thank you for you message and I’m not grateful of what you have or are going through but I’m glad to relate. It feels like it’s going to be a long day.

I feel like I’m doing better because every day for the last year what I’d do in my time off is go pick on some vodka, every day after work and usually twice a day after.

I’m not going to do that today and purchase enough in the PM to reduce the severe side affects work on rethink down
sonkien is offline  
Old 12-21-2017, 01:56 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,058
I’m not going to do that today and purchase enough in the PM to reduce the severe side affects work on rethink down
Hi Sonkien - thats not the way I'd do it but if you're adamant thats the only way you can do it then good luck and best wishes to you.

If I can help I will.


If things get really bad I hope you'll reconsider gettign medical help tho. I didn't had some mini strokes and now I have to live with the consequences of that decision .

I'm not wishing catastrophe on you or scaremongering - there's just a lot riding on making good decisions right now.

I think some things are even more important that prospective career paths.
Dee74 is offline  
Old 12-21-2017, 06:49 PM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 69
Dee

Thanks for your response I remember you being the first reply I had New here last late December, I also remembering reading a lot of your helpful comments to others.

I agree health should come before a career and I will go that route if I’m not able to tether.

I purchased below my average tonight, plan on the same tomorrow and will not day drink, that I’ve done every day off work and made life horrible
sonkien is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:59 AM.