I hate my mixed race heritage and use alcohol as therapy
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
Welcome Tiredwoman,
I'm so glad you found us and posted here.
I'm glad you have support from your aunt, and you will always find support here. Though, I am not in your shoes, I do understand that drinking to avoid painful issues ends up causing more pain, as in alcoholism. You can live a sober life and be the woman you want to be.
I'm so glad you found us and posted here.
I'm glad you have support from your aunt, and you will always find support here. Though, I am not in your shoes, I do understand that drinking to avoid painful issues ends up causing more pain, as in alcoholism. You can live a sober life and be the woman you want to be.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: South Africa, Durban/Cape Town
Posts: 217
Originally Posted by Anna 
Welcome Tiredwoman,
I'm so glad you found us and posted here.
I'm glad you have support from your aunt, and you will always find support here. Though, I am not in your shoes, I do understand that drinking to avoid painful issues ends up causing more pain, as in alcoholism. You can live a sober life and be the woman you want to be.
I'm so glad you found us and posted here.
I'm glad you have support from your aunt, and you will always find support here. Though, I am not in your shoes, I do understand that drinking to avoid painful issues ends up causing more pain, as in alcoholism. You can live a sober life and be the woman you want to be.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: South Africa, Durban/Cape Town
Posts: 217
Originally Posted by AAPJ
Tiredwoman, Thanks for your incredibly honest share. In the long run mixed race children are the key to better race relations. At least that's what I believe. But in the current day it really depends on where you live. I have never visited SA and it sounds kind of bad. I am sorry for your situation.
However, getting drunk to deal with it is not the answer.
However, getting drunk to deal with it is not the answer.
No Dogma Please
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: SoCal
Posts: 2,562
You say you have mental health issues. Have you been diagnosed? Are you in a doctors care for them?
Not sure how it is in SA, but a psychiatrist here in the US can be a huge asset in recovery. Do you have resources through your University that can help with substance issues?
If you have diagnosed with mental health issues AND substance issues you would be a dual diagnosis here. Almost always sobriety is the first step, as substance abuse affects nearly all psychiatric medications, sometimes dangerously so, and a doctor cannot effectively evaluate the effectiveness of medical treatment with someone who is using.
I grew up gay in the 1970s and verbally abused by my dad for it, so there was a lot of guilt and shame associated with my various addictions. I dealt with it through 12 Step based inpatient rehab, psychiatric intervention, outpatient group and individual psychodynamic therapy. They are like legs of a chair, and i credit all four with giving me the support that I needed to get and stay sober.
It sounds like you have little to no support, as you are keeping your addiction a shameful secret from family and friends. I could never gotten sober without help from others. Take whatever resources you can to help you solve this problem in your life.
You can do this, but willpower alone is rarely enough. Get help.
YOU can do this. Many of us are living proof.
Not sure how it is in SA, but a psychiatrist here in the US can be a huge asset in recovery. Do you have resources through your University that can help with substance issues?
If you have diagnosed with mental health issues AND substance issues you would be a dual diagnosis here. Almost always sobriety is the first step, as substance abuse affects nearly all psychiatric medications, sometimes dangerously so, and a doctor cannot effectively evaluate the effectiveness of medical treatment with someone who is using.
I grew up gay in the 1970s and verbally abused by my dad for it, so there was a lot of guilt and shame associated with my various addictions. I dealt with it through 12 Step based inpatient rehab, psychiatric intervention, outpatient group and individual psychodynamic therapy. They are like legs of a chair, and i credit all four with giving me the support that I needed to get and stay sober.
It sounds like you have little to no support, as you are keeping your addiction a shameful secret from family and friends. I could never gotten sober without help from others. Take whatever resources you can to help you solve this problem in your life.
You can do this, but willpower alone is rarely enough. Get help.
YOU can do this. Many of us are living proof.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: South Africa, Durban/Cape Town
Posts: 217
Originally Posted by MindfulMan
You say you have mental health issues. Have you been diagnosed? Are you in a doctors care for them?
Not sure how it is in SA, but a psychiatrist here in the US can be a huge asset in recovery. Do you have resources through your University that can help with substance issues?
If you have diagnosed with mental health issues AND substance issues you would be a dual diagnosis here. Almost always sobriety is the first step, as substance abuse affects nearly all psychiatric medications, sometimes dangerously so, and a doctor cannot effectively evaluate the effectiveness of medical treatment with someone who is using.
I grew up gay in the 1970s and verbally abused by my dad for it, so there was a lot of guilt and shame associated with my various addictions. I dealt with it through 12 Step based inpatient rehab, psychiatric intervention, outpatient group and individual psychodynamic therapy. They are like legs of a chair, and i credit all four with giving me the support that I needed to get and stay sober.
It sounds like you have little to no support, as you are keeping your addiction a shameful secret from family and friends. I could never gotten sober without help from others. Take whatever resources you can to help you solve this problem in your life.
You are so right about getting sober being close to impossible all alone. I learned that when I silently suffered from depression when I was a kid. When people helped, things became better.
I am so happy you were able to beat this thing.
You can do this, but willpower alone is rarely enough. Get help.
YOU can do this. Many of us are living proof.
Not sure how it is in SA, but a psychiatrist here in the US can be a huge asset in recovery. Do you have resources through your University that can help with substance issues?
If you have diagnosed with mental health issues AND substance issues you would be a dual diagnosis here. Almost always sobriety is the first step, as substance abuse affects nearly all psychiatric medications, sometimes dangerously so, and a doctor cannot effectively evaluate the effectiveness of medical treatment with someone who is using.
I grew up gay in the 1970s and verbally abused by my dad for it, so there was a lot of guilt and shame associated with my various addictions. I dealt with it through 12 Step based inpatient rehab, psychiatric intervention, outpatient group and individual psychodynamic therapy. They are like legs of a chair, and i credit all four with giving me the support that I needed to get and stay sober.
It sounds like you have little to no support, as you are keeping your addiction a shameful secret from family and friends. I could never gotten sober without help from others. Take whatever resources you can to help you solve this problem in your life.
You are so right about getting sober being close to impossible all alone. I learned that when I silently suffered from depression when I was a kid. When people helped, things became better.
I am so happy you were able to beat this thing.
You can do this, but willpower alone is rarely enough. Get help.
YOU can do this. Many of us are living proof.
Yes, our university does have resources to help. But I have never gone there. You know there's always that deep fear.
I am so happy you got better
That's really good. I'm sorry your father was so horrible to you because of your sexual orientation. Such a trivial fact about a person's life. I'm fortunate to have supportive parents but I feel still scared and ashamed to tell them.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,384
Hi Tiredwoman - I had different reasons but I tried to escape from myself too - but after I sobered up there I was again....
Alcohols no solution - it may even keep you stuck in a place (physically or mentally) you don't want to be.
My advice is throw everything you have at this addiction - beat that and then you can look at the rest of your life with a clear head and perspective
D
Alcohols no solution - it may even keep you stuck in a place (physically or mentally) you don't want to be.
My advice is throw everything you have at this addiction - beat that and then you can look at the rest of your life with a clear head and perspective
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: South Africa, Durban/Cape Town
Posts: 217
Originally Posted by Dee74
Hi Tiredwoman - I had different reasons but I tried to escape from myself too - but after I sobered up there I was again....
Alcohols no solution - it may even keep you stuck in a place (physically or mentally) you don't want to be.
My advice is throw everything you have at this addiction - beat that and then you can look at the rest of your life with a clear head and perspective
D
Alcohols no solution - it may even keep you stuck in a place (physically or mentally) you don't want to be.
My advice is throw everything you have at this addiction - beat that and then you can look at the rest of your life with a clear head and perspective
D
Thank you so much. Gives me hope and motivation when I read stories of people who beat this disease.
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: Indiana
Posts: 105
I find so much of my self in your post I drink to numb myself from my problems if I wasn’t drinking I would be smoking pot to help not drinking and to numb myself I suffer from anxiety ocd and I’ve had problems with depression all the drinking smoking weed doin pills all my problems are still here I just gave myself more problems actually I’ve blackout woke up not knowing where I am drove home not knowing how I got home it’s bad stuff it’s been almost a month since I decided to do something about it and everyone on here is awesome and I’ll support you all the way post before drinking and need someone to talk to hit me up I’m day 2 sober your life is worth greater things instead of an empty bottle give yourself some love
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: South Africa, Durban/Cape Town
Posts: 217
Originally Posted by Countrylife
I find so much of my self in your post I drink to numb myself from my problems if I wasn’t drinking I would be smoking pot to help not drinking and to numb myself I suffer from anxiety ocd and I’ve had problems with depression all the drinking smoking weed doin pills all my problems are still here I just gave myself more problems actually I’ve blackout woke up not knowing where I am drove home not knowing how I got home it’s bad stuff it’s been almost a month since I decided to do something about it and everyone on here is awesome and I’ll support you all the way post before drinking and need someone to talk to hit me up I’m day 2 sober your life is worth greater things instead of an empty bottle give yourself some love
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