Blogs


Notices

Embarrassed but back.

Old 12-19-2017, 10:13 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
nigey1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 340
Embarrassed but back.

Hi

Pretty embarrassed to be back here. I have a plan but it seems so much harder and I underestimated how I dwell on stuff and how much rawer things are when u canít numb them. You actually have to confront the compounded effect from the last 2 years

Still havenít reached any of the horror stories I read on here but it has been such hard work slowing the fall down that I just feel exhausted.

This is it for me I am just dreading the next couple of months and canít stop ruminating.

Sorry for the downer it does come with ups just need some smoothing over. Really hope u all have a great Xmas.
nigey1 is offline  
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to nigey1 For This Useful Post:
ChloeRose63 (12-20-2017), DarklingSong (12-20-2017), gatorman (12-20-2017), Hevyn (12-20-2017), MythOfSisyphus (12-20-2017), Tonymblue (12-22-2017), WeaverBird (12-22-2017), Zanna (12-19-2017)
Old 12-19-2017, 10:52 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
Zanna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Derbyshire Dales, UK.
Posts: 2,558
Hi Nigey You still have 5 days until Christmas, how about making it a happy and healthy one for yourself
I thought I had escaped the 'horror stories' too, but a month after I quit, up popped Type 1 Diabetes. Don't follow my example - it's not fun.

Welcome back!
Zanna is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Zanna For This Useful Post:
ChloeRose63 (12-20-2017), DarklingSong (12-20-2017), gatorman (12-20-2017)
Old 12-19-2017, 11:05 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,981
You shouldn't be embarrassed to be back here, rather embrace it.
Forward12 is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Forward12 For This Useful Post:
ChloeRose63 (12-20-2017), DarklingSong (12-20-2017), Zanna (12-19-2017)
Old 12-19-2017, 11:16 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 185,799
Blog Entries: 1
Hi nigey - sorry to hear you're struggling.

There's really two parts to recovery I think - stopping drinking and then dealing with all the stuff you used to drink over.


The stopping drinking is the simple bit - not always easy but simple. You've done it before - it may seem more difficult this time but the basic rules of engagement stay the same - stop drinking, change you life to reflect that decision and find (and use) support to keep it going

If you're having trouble dealing with difficult feelings and/or past events on your own maybe your Dr or a counsellor is a good way forward?

D
Dee74 is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
ChloeRose63 (12-20-2017), least (12-20-2017)
Old 12-19-2017, 11:24 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
JustTony's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 1,465
Don't be embarassed.

I relapsed seven times in 2017. Every relapse was followed by a huge period of prolonged drinking.

If it wasn't hard then this forum wouldn't exist (and neither would AA).

You're here so you want freedom from this. Let's work towards a sober Xmas and New Year.

See you in December class?
JustTony is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to JustTony For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (12-19-2017), least (12-20-2017), mnjen (12-23-2017)
Old 12-19-2017, 11:41 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 276
Welcome back nigey1, I hope you find a solution this time around. My thoughts are that you need to find activities to fill the 'numb, raw' time that doesn't revolve around alcohol or drunks. There are some good threads on this and successes that folks have shared. I'm new to total abstinence and have hooked up with a sober friend I've known a long time and we are going to get outdoors more, fishing, golfing, etc. Good luck.
b0glerd69 is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to b0glerd69 For This Useful Post:
ChloeRose63 (12-20-2017), Dee74 (12-19-2017)
Old 12-20-2017, 12:44 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
 
gatorman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Gainesville, Fl
Posts: 33,535
Don’t feel embarrassed at all. Embrace the fact you are back. You can do this!
gatorman is online now  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to gatorman For This Useful Post:
ChloeRose63 (12-20-2017), Dee74 (12-20-2017), Strugglingtoget (12-20-2017), Zanna (12-20-2017)
Old 12-20-2017, 01:57 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
My Own Muse
 
ChloeRose63's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Lake Geneva, Wisconsin
Posts: 16,179
Glad you are back. Nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. We all have been there and we understand. It's all good, mate!
ChloeRose63 is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to ChloeRose63 For This Useful Post:
DarklingSong (12-20-2017), Strugglingtoget (12-20-2017), Zanna (12-20-2017)
Old 12-20-2017, 02:44 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
nigey1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 340
Thanks for the words. I really have to do this. First week nearly down. Just feel like Iím spinning out of control a bit and canít drink it away and forget. I know this is much better in long term but short term sucks. Then feel bad because a lot of people have it much much worse. I think I need to not overthink and just go each day as it comes. Thanks guys and girls.
nigey1 is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to nigey1 For This Useful Post:
ChloeRose63 (12-20-2017), Dee74 (12-21-2017), least (12-20-2017), Zanna (12-22-2017)
Old 12-20-2017, 02:51 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Learning to live again
 
Hevyn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 40,460
Good to see you back, nigey. A whole week sober - that's wonderful progress. Keep talking to us - you're never alone.
Hevyn is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Hevyn For This Useful Post:
ChloeRose63 (12-20-2017), least (12-20-2017)
Old 12-20-2017, 02:54 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Earth Child
 
SerenityRiver's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Edinburgh, Scotland
Posts: 2,000
Blog Entries: 2
welcome back and well done on a week keep going and keep holding on to being sober
SerenityRiver is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to SerenityRiver For This Useful Post:
ChloeRose63 (12-20-2017), least (12-20-2017)
Old 12-21-2017, 06:54 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 185,799
Blog Entries: 1
Short term sucks for everyone - thoughts of better or worse aren't really that useful right now I reckon nigey - you've got a problem - you're dealing with it...s'all good

Congrats on closing in your first week.

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 12-22-2017, 01:17 AM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Member
 
Gabe1980's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Scotland
Posts: 2,323
I'm a bit of a worrier and feel embarassed at times coming back too. Feel foolish, weak etc. But nobody here is judging. Im only really in my fourth month of properly investing in my recovery and I've still not made it right through completely sober. Just try your best to improve. It sounds like you really want that and you can do it. I'm speaking to a counsellor weekly too. MASSIVE help. I had stuff bottled up from my teens that was destroying my sense of self worth, a big factor in my drinking.

I really hope you start to feel a bit better soon. There is a way forward and a big part of that is investing in your own healing. Best of wishes to you. Gabe x
Gabe1980 is offline  
Old 12-22-2017, 01:48 AM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 79
Originally Posted by JustTony View Post
Don't be embarassed.

I relapsed seven times in 2017. Every relapse was followed by a huge period of prolonged drinking.

If it wasn't hard then this forum wouldn't exist (and neither would AA).

You're here so you want freedom from this. Let's work towards a sober Xmas and New Year.

See you in December class?
I feel the same way...I know i need to stop drinking... My mind just needs a break for the pain I put on myself....I'm a self destructive individual...I really need some piece of mind. Alcohol can literally ruin me, for my health, relationships I have and my finances I splurged on booze. That's not a way to live
Toughroad1209 is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:49 PM.