A Christmas present to myself
 

I recently went through a break up and I turned to alcohol ..... truth is alcohol was part of the reason we split but I never chose to admit it .... I get violent and I lie and I make really poor choices when I’ve had a drink and I always hate myself the next day and vow I’ll change ..... I’m even missing work now and it’s got to stop ..... I work hard and am a goof mum ..... when I’m not drinking..... it robs me of precious time with my kids because my anxiety keeps my hiding in bed all day while I wallow in self pitty the next day.

I don’t drink in the day and I don’t drink everyday but I’m drinking enough to realise I’m not the let’s go for one drink kind of girl ..... I’m the two bottles of wine later falling out with everyone then passing out kind of girl..... at least 3/4 times a week now.

The worst thing is I usually don’t remember what’s gone on the night before and am so ashamed.

I don’t want to lose my kids and want to be the best version of myself for them ..... I’m gonna do this as if today .... day 1 ....

Thanks for reading x

Hi - you can do this! Keep coming back and sharing.

Welcome, AAgain1. Again is the part of your username that applies going forward. No more shame, you are starting Again, you will be yourself Again.

You can do this, and you will be thrilled with the results if you put your sobriety and recovery first. It is great that you dont yet drink every single day. It doesnt mean you dont have a major problem, but it means you are probably fairly safe to stop on your own.

I hope you stay here...read all over SR, post in threads that “speak” to you. You will find much you relate to and TONS of support. These folks gave me courage and vision when I really needed it, and continue to be a primary source of inspiration and comraderie as I find my way.

Again, welcome! You are starting a great thing in your life.

welcome, keep posting and reading here.
Sober life is much better than what you describe and things will get better with time and application.
Well done for facing the situation for what it is.

Come an join us in the December thread ! We're all going through the same struggles