Decided to quit for good
 

Hello,

I mostly signed up because I want it in writing somewhere (though of course I appreciate advice). I've given myself enough chances to drink in moderation, but every time it's a familiar pattern. The handle only lasts three days instead of a month. And by day three I'm an emotional, half-mad, wreck, intent on doing something reckless or shameful.

I don't drink often, but when I do I manage to set my life back by months. There are dozens of people who could walk up to me, punch me in the face, and be totally justified for doing it.

I'm 28 now. When I was younger I drank because I have a serious and grumpy personality. At some point I decided to stop socializing and focus on getting a carreer started. Now I feel like I've been working so hard that life "owes" me some sort of pleasure, and I know I'll regret it, but I just don't care.

If I keep binging it'll keep hurting people. So, from now on, whether it's 6 months from now, or five years from now, I don't get another chance to have "just a few". I know that in the long run I need to find something I actually enjoy. But for now, it's day 2, and I'm just going to survive. I still can't sleep and I'm full of (hopefully) irrational anxieties about ruining my reputation on the last binge.

I have so much in common with a lot of the people here, thank you all for sharing your stories and reading mine.

welcome aboard, I found out about AVRT when I first came to SR ( great threads on these ideas here on SR in the Secular Connections forum). And those ideas really resonated with me, maybe check them out.
Great decision btw, it's easy to see that things won't magically get better , right away, yeah? But this decisoin is the single most helpful thing you can do for yourself, good for you.
Keep doing the next right thing and you will have a newer/better rep sooner than you think. Good luck, rootin for ya

Welcome UrQuan

I can relate to everything you say, I'm on day 2 after 5 months sober. I had also been working hard and felt life owed me something. It wasn't worth it.

I'm 7 years older than you, wish I had quit years ago would have saved me from the guilt of all those embarrassing situations we get ourselves into.

Good luck

Welcome to the family. :) Quitting drinking was the best thing I've ever done for myself and I don't miss it at all anymore.

I hope our support can help you get sober for good. :)

Good for you. Real life can really begin now.
I have 10 years on you and would love to go back knowing what I know now.

welcome to SR UrQuan :)

D

Congratulations!
 

I've lost friends and family physically as well as supportively to their addictions and mine. I'm on day 22 and I've had enough. I've burned many people in my addiction and I'm surprised to be alive. I relate to what you've said.