Ezra78

I am not looking for permission per say, nor am I looking to buy and drink the non-alcoholic wine, but when I was grocery shopping last night I saw it and thought (for some people and some occasions) it would be a good way to participate and/or fake drinking (in a group where the pressures are high).

While understanding one should not get themselves into a situation where the pressures are high, we are also heading into Xmas and NYE; and in some cases you cannot just cut out everyone and every situation in your life where there will be alcohol. Part of MY journey, at least, is to be able to cope with MY problem and be able to participate with my friends and family and not get blasted out of my mind, all the while letting them enjoy themselves in their own way. That being said, I also hope to be brave enough if I'm in a situation where someone is saying "here have a drink," and the peer pressure is turned on high, I can say NO in a clear and direct manner.

Anyway ... I'm just curious if this is something anyone actually does. Who else would be buying the fake wine? Honestly.

Maudcat

Hi, Ezra.
Welcome.
Whether to have Non A drinks comes up from time to time on this site, and there are many different opinions.
Some feel the drinks are triggering and avoid them.
Others are okay with them.
I drank non a beer early in sobriety because I didn’t want to stand out at an event or party.
Not crazy about the taste, though, and in time found other beverages that I liked better.
Lemonade, ginger ale,tomato juice, soft cider, etc.
I can’t speak to non a wines, though I have read that they are becoming tastier.
Thing is, I found that no one really cared what I was drinking, that I was far more worried about it than anyone else.
Good luck and good thoughts.

tomsteve

i wouldnt buy fake wine any more then id buy fake crack.

doggonecarl

I have no problem saying no. I also haven't had a drink in seven and a half years.

You have four days.

Don't put yourself in a situation where the temptation to drink is even remotely a risk.

theVman31

I personally steer clear of all non alcohol - otherwise alcoholic drinks.
And you are right probably better off staying out of situations where the pressure is too high.
Put sobriety first.

decchemist

You don't need anyone's permission. You are responsible for your own choices.

Honestly? No, no, no, no , no.

least

I never drank wine for the taste but rather, to get drunk. Fake wine holds no interest for me. There are lots of other drinks I prefer.

ScottFromWI

N/A beer and wine is an oft-discussed and somewhat controversial topic around here. It's your choice of course, but most of them taste pretty awful and for many it leads back to drinking regular alcohol.

It's just as easy to ask for a soft drink or water if someone asks you if you'd like a drink. Another thing you'll notice once you are out in public is that very few people care ( or even notice ) if you are drinking alcohol or not. We as alcoholics obsess about it..but really most people don't even give it moment's thought. So "faking it" really is just appeasing our own addictive thoughts.

Culture

I personally wouldn't, I would be scared that I would be triggered by it back into the real stuff!

MindfulMan

I’m a total wine and beer snob. I wouldn’t touch that crap when I was drinking, and I’m not gonna start now.

I have absolutely no issue with not drinking in nearly every situation, and pretty much let everyone know I’m sober anyway.

Flinders39

I’m coming up on five months sober. To be honest I don’t give a s—t what people think about my refusing a drink. I’m SO angry at alcohol. I’m livid over what it has and almost cost me.

I realize that everyone is different when it comes to recovering from alcohol addiction, but in my opinion (for now) don’t put yourself in situations that may jeopardize your sobriety.

August252015

I would absolutely never "fake drink." Nor would I feel the need to say anything other than no.

I simply didn't go anywhere that I might be asked to or offered a drink for a long time as I built my (wonderful) life in recovery. So it was a moot point then- and it was a moot point by the time I started socializing because I was already on an excellent sober path. That socializing? Started about 5-6 mo in.

"No" is always a complete sentence, IMO.

Anna

If I was part of a group where pressure to drink was high, I'd leave the group in a heartbeat. I have no desire to be pressured to do anything, and I refuse to allow people to make me feel guilty about not drinking. I know we all handle these situations differently, but my main concern, in any situation, is to feel comfortable.

JustTony

This pretty much sums it up for me and I was a BIG wine drinker (3 bottles a night)

JJ991

I was a big wine drinker & so I don't go anywhere near fake wine. I do however have non alcoholic beer with lemonade from time to time. This isn't a trigger for me as wine was my thing. I don't do it to fit in, I just sometimes fancy it. I do find though that the longer I am sober (12 weeks now), the less I drink it, I'm finding more & more interesting soft drinks to try!

DreamCatcher17

I was a drinker, anything, wine included.
I also drank it to get drunk, not because it tasted good. Although some did, all those extra calories, for what? To fake it? No thank you!
All NA- anything is a HARD no for me, so are people who think they need to pressure me into drinking, or the people I feel like I need to drink to just be around them, not for me.

Dee74

I've often shared how drinking NA stuff is still behaviour steeped in the real thing.

There's another factor here too - pretending still to be a drinker.

I don't expect anyone to 'out themselves' as an alcoholic at Xmas dinner, but saying no thanks is a pretty useful and healthy skill to build up IMO.

Just some food for thought

D

blueberry2015

It's def a no for me, non alcoholic wines led to me relapse. Personally I wouldn't touch it with a barge poll.

Ihadmyfill

Non-alcoholic wine is for non-alcoholics!

Berrybean

Is there a difference between non alcoholic wine and just grape juice with sparkly water? I like grape juice (but am more respectful to my teeth nowadays and avoid too many juices - my decades of neglect in that area has taken its toll, and juice leads to discomfort nowadays).

Sparkly water in a nice glass with ice and lemon can look like a multitude of beverages to any interested (although, why they would be is a different question) bystanders.

Funny - I spent so long hiding how much I drank by pretending it was just cola, then when I got sober and shy about that status I went through a period of trying to hide that I wasn't drinking alcohol. Then I decided to just walk to the beat of my own drum, and that those who mind don't matter. They're not people whose opinion I'd respect in the subject anyway.


Nowadays I'm quite happy to ask of a coffee or tea if that's what I want. Funny how often the people who had been drinking then say "ooooo, I fancy a coffee. I didn't realise we could order that" and then get one for themselves. Lol. Nuts.

BB