PennyHershel

I suffer from a great amount of anxiety and I use alcohol to take the edge off. I have so much to be grateful for. I have a great job, a loving family, my own apartment, a cat which I love, and many friends. The one thing missing in my life is a romantic relationship which i so badly crave. I get my heart broken frequently and then I turn to alcohol. I just went on a 3 day bender and I don't know why. I got invited to a work happy hour but I preferred to stay at home and drink alone, wallowing in my sadness. Today I've been suffering from massive amount of anxiety, embarrassment, and just feeling like a total loser. Can anyone else relate or say something to make me feel hope again? Thank you

suki44883

Welcome to SR, Penny. You will find a lot of support here. What you are feeling is very common; many of us have felt the same way. I hope you will continue to post here and read the forum to realize you are not alone.

Again...welcome to SR.

least

Welcome to the family. I hope our support can help you get sober for good.

It is possible to quit drinking and build your life back up to where you want it. It takes some effort and changes, but it's worth it.

PennyHershel

Thank you for the quick responses, I feel better already

bradly22

Going out with friends and coworkers can be a great thing because it will keep you in a social setting. The "happy hour" invite may not be the best location if you are trying to avoid alcohol intake. Maybe catch them on their next outing for sushi or pizza, if that is a possibility.

As for the anxiety, everything tends to turn around once the drinking stops. It may take some time, but soon, alcohol won't be needed to calm nerves.

wildflower70

Hi Penny,
We have very similar situations, good jobs, apartment, cats, family....but the missing link seems to be love and intimacy (?)I am a binge drinker, now 37 days clean (for the 100th time), and I do understand what your going through. I continued to look for relationships that would help me to feel worthy, loved, accepted, and beautiful. When they didn't work out, or I was disappointed with the results, I drank( sometimes for days), risking the good things I already have.......
I am now focused on loving myself, truly accepting myself, and telling myself everyday that I am beautiful and worthy of a happy life. I am no longer obsessed with needing a partner to do that for me. Maybe this could work for you too? Maybe you could spend the next few months really learning to love yourself, and practice self care on a daily basis!

You may be anxious and embarrassed,but you certainly aren't a looser!
Peace and blessings

Ezra78

I can totally relate ... I drink to curb my anxiety (mainly) and once drink generally leads to two or three or four days in a row of drinking because my anxiety says "You suck because you drank, but hey have another drink, that'll help." ... I'm trying to learn to tell my anxiety to shush!!

PennyHershel

I do exactly the same! I drink because I'm anxious but then it comes back with a vengeance the next day! So I figure a little hair of the dog would do me some good. It's a vicious cycle and today the anxiety was crippling. I laid under a blanket all day and prayed for it to go away

COYI

Penny,

Have you thought about going to AA? You would be amazed how helpful it can be. If your drinking is a problem, then you need to find a way to stop. It cannot help your anxiety and it cannot solve your problems.

There are concrete things you can do to curb your anxiety. There is mindfulness, yoga, running, watching TV, and meditation, just to name a few.

PennyHershel

I have been thinking about it. I'm a little intimidated and do not know what to expect. Do I just show up?

Dee74

Hi and welcome Penny

for me to get all the things I wanted in life - including romance - I had to stop drinking first and sort myself out a little bit.

The best things in life tale a little time patience and effort but they;re worth waiting for

you'll find a lot of support and good ideas here.

D

january161992

yes you just show up

the most important thing for me when i was new in aa was to listen for the similarities and not the differences

many people in aa drank everything and lost everything and like you that was not (yet) my story

i was fortunate to get sober before i lost everything

you can too

Dropsie

We can all relate.

You have great input in here.

I found a lot of help in Einstein's quote about doing things over again and expecting different results.

Once I realised that overtime I drank it would start all over again I stopped because the all over again got worse and worse.

It was emotionally accepting that I was addicted the was the problem, once I accepted it I knew what to do. Not easy. But I knew there was only one way out and that was though as they say.

PennyHershel

Thank you all for the feedback. I'm on day 2 of detoxing and it's been somewhat difficult. Not to mention I'm going through a breakup and it's the holidays. I'm trying very hard to stay busy but my motivation is just not there. I'm going to try an AA meeting today after work. I've been reading that day 2-5 are the hardest, is this true?

PalmerSage

Penny, I can relate to your struggle 100% (this is how I felt in my 20s, I'm in my 40s now). But as you search for a partner, keep this in mind: The person you would choose while in active addiction may not be the best one in the long run. You have an opportunity to change the course of your destiny if you stop drinking now. Very best of luck to you.