42 Days Then a Trigger and Slipped....Advice?
 

Well, I made it 42 days and was feeling good, going to meetings, meditating, being healthy etc. And then.... I slipped. I went grocery shopping and saw a very attractive person, seemed almost simultaneously this ripple just went through my whole body....and the pull of the wine section was strong. I tried being present, to tell my AV to shut up, thought of calling an AAer but my AV said no. I can only describe the feeling of anticipation like your first kiss in high school with your crush. It was like euphoria and panic all wrapped together.

Am I alone in how powerful this feeling can be? It caught me off guard and I tried to fight it off but I lost. What do I do different next time? I’m sober now but it feels like the switch has been flipped on again and I’m scared.

yeah, well those emotions are going to continue to be part of your life experience.

I decided I wouldn't have a drink, no matter what.

Then everything I do backs up that decision. Regardless of a momentary titillation. You're going to have that feeling again - along with excitement, fatigue, grief, fear, boredom, frustration, anger, anticipation, celebration. They all bring a moment of heightened experience. What kind of things could you do to prevent that knee jerk action of picking up the drink?

Recovery happens in that small moment between an event and an action.

I had a LOT of problems being in grocery stores in early recovery. I avoided them as much as possible, or would go and not take a cart so I could only get what I could carry.

In early recovery when alcohol would be screaming to me, I would tell myself 15 minutes. I can wait 15 minutes. 15 minutes will not kill me. Anybody can do 15 minutes. In 15 minutes that alcohol will still be there if I want it. I would then walk away to hopefully shift my focus. This too shall pass... This too shall pass... This too shall pass.

It usually did, although sometimes a second 15 minutes was needed...and probably there were times a third 15 minutes. I can't really remember, but that is how my sobriety was started and built upon.

I sure do remember those feelings of euphoria and panic, adrenaline rush. I had to decide that drinking was no longer an option, ever. Once I accepted that, I was able to start coming up with healthy ways to deal with my life. It's good to remember that they are just feelings and they don't control you. You can let them go. :)

In order to stay sober I had to want to be sober more than I wanted to drink. Not easy, but simple. :)

Up here in Canada we can't buy booze in grocery stores. at least in Alberta. Thank the good lord!!!!!!! lol

I like the 15 minute idea!

Hi Pinnacle. My (sincere) suggestion is to stop reacting so viscerally to triggers.

Make a recovery action plan - have a clear idea of the things you can do to stay sober when you get the urge.

Have a support base - numbers to call, or if SR is your only support, commit to posting here first - and not just posting and running but really stay here until the urge passes. Help others - that helps.

There's no reason to let being caught off guard lead you astray. You have the power here not your addiction. :)

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ery-plans.html

D