Boredom help
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 7
Boredom help
Anyone dread the boredom that comes without drinking. I know it sounds silly but I guess I have associated every day life with drinking to the point where I feel out of place without it. Being that today is Friday and we have the weekend I almost dread what im going to do.
What I find weird is that if I need to go someplace like work etc I am perfectly fine without drinking. When I get home the first thing I want to do is crack a can. Without it I just feel bored.
I dont know weird im sure
What I find weird is that if I need to go someplace like work etc I am perfectly fine without drinking. When I get home the first thing I want to do is crack a can. Without it I just feel bored.
I dont know weird im sure
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: Oregon
Posts: 33
I'm in the same situation. It's Friday night and I'm not sure what to do with myself right now. Can't say I'm craving a drink, but it's always been such a habit for me on the weekends.
Just plan on watching some TV, reading some news and going to bed early. I'll wake up feeling good tomorrow and can do some Christmas shopping
Just plan on watching some TV, reading some news and going to bed early. I'll wake up feeling good tomorrow and can do some Christmas shopping
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Yep, it's definitely normal to feel like something is missing, but really you have more options now than you did when you were drinking.
This link is a good read on the subject if you have never done so.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ething-do.html (Looking For Something To Do?)
This link is a good read on the subject if you have never done so.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ething-do.html (Looking For Something To Do?)
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,391
I lost my imagination drinking. All my fun all my relaxation came from a bottle. When I quit it was hard to retrain myself to actively look for things to do.
Scotts list is a good start - think outside the box a little
D
Scotts list is a good start - think outside the box a little
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 1,543
I mainly drank at home.
I would be in my study and my wife would be in the main living area watching her tv programmes.
More often than not I would be either watching some sport on the flat screen; watching YouTube videos with my headphones on; or simply spacing out and then falling asleep as bottle of wine number 3 was being finished.
And I'll be honest - I was pretty bored the whole time and I knew it as I was going through it. In fact sometimes I think I even drank because I was bored.
Someone once said about me (in order to try and help me), "bored people are boring people" and for me that kind of resonated. What is more boring than being with someone (or being someone) that is just drinking continuously, talking gibberish, repeating themselves and generally being a nincompoop?
So even though I am only on Day 14 (albeit I have had many periods of sobriety in the past to learn from too) I'm pretty convinced that NOT drinking makes me far less boring to be around - and I'm honestly no MORE bored than before within myself. - In reality I have so many more options (every day and night) of things to do nowadays and I'm so often far LESS bored.
I think it is the AV that whispers "this is boring" as 'he' attacks to defend. He's the most boring enabler I have ever known.
Just my $0.02
I would be in my study and my wife would be in the main living area watching her tv programmes.
More often than not I would be either watching some sport on the flat screen; watching YouTube videos with my headphones on; or simply spacing out and then falling asleep as bottle of wine number 3 was being finished.
And I'll be honest - I was pretty bored the whole time and I knew it as I was going through it. In fact sometimes I think I even drank because I was bored.
Someone once said about me (in order to try and help me), "bored people are boring people" and for me that kind of resonated. What is more boring than being with someone (or being someone) that is just drinking continuously, talking gibberish, repeating themselves and generally being a nincompoop?
So even though I am only on Day 14 (albeit I have had many periods of sobriety in the past to learn from too) I'm pretty convinced that NOT drinking makes me far less boring to be around - and I'm honestly no MORE bored than before within myself. - In reality I have so many more options (every day and night) of things to do nowadays and I'm so often far LESS bored.
I think it is the AV that whispers "this is boring" as 'he' attacks to defend. He's the most boring enabler I have ever known.
Just my $0.02
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: California
Posts: 142
It took me about 4 months to realize I was finally okay with having nothing to do. It was such a relief just wanting to actually relax without the help of that poison. It does get easier... good luck to you😊
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Derbyshire Dales, UK.
Posts: 2,618
I don't have time to get bored these days, in between checking blood sugar levels, injecting insulin and worrying about both.
I only drank at the weekends, but still got into this mess.
Think, don't drink!
hugs x
I only drank at the weekends, but still got into this mess.
Think, don't drink!
hugs x
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 452
I can relate to this thread, thanks for raising the subject. Personally, I play a lot of computer games and read to fill the time.
I find that being sober all the time means that you observe more of life, raw and real through sober eyes and are able to react and respond to situations with more humanity.
For example, my brother-in-law died recently and when I was at the funeral there were a bunch of people I hadn't seen in 25 years. If I had been in my usual hungover state I would have recoiled from greeting and engaging with them and would have missed out on the warmth of the conversation, the happiness I got from reliving memories through them, the realisation of how close relationships of affection don't change much over the years, etc. 'Little moments of beauty' I like to call them.
This is what being sober opens up for me and is why I strive to maintain sobriety. It's to be open to more of the things (little moments of beauty) that really matter in life.
I find that being sober all the time means that you observe more of life, raw and real through sober eyes and are able to react and respond to situations with more humanity.
For example, my brother-in-law died recently and when I was at the funeral there were a bunch of people I hadn't seen in 25 years. If I had been in my usual hungover state I would have recoiled from greeting and engaging with them and would have missed out on the warmth of the conversation, the happiness I got from reliving memories through them, the realisation of how close relationships of affection don't change much over the years, etc. 'Little moments of beauty' I like to call them.
This is what being sober opens up for me and is why I strive to maintain sobriety. It's to be open to more of the things (little moments of beauty) that really matter in life.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: London(ish)
Posts: 202
Boredom is a big trigger for me too.
I want a drink when I'm at home and bored, I never feel the need for a drink if I'm out doing something fun or on holiday but when I find myself at home especially on the cold and dark evenings and have nothing to do I want to drink to pass the time, using it as a sort of fast forward button. The problem is the more you do it the more isolated I think you become so it's a bit of a vicious circle.
I think building a rich and fulfilling life has to be one of the best ways to stay sober.
I want a drink when I'm at home and bored, I never feel the need for a drink if I'm out doing something fun or on holiday but when I find myself at home especially on the cold and dark evenings and have nothing to do I want to drink to pass the time, using it as a sort of fast forward button. The problem is the more you do it the more isolated I think you become so it's a bit of a vicious circle.
I think building a rich and fulfilling life has to be one of the best ways to stay sober.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Totally normal to feel that way. Boredom is the enemy because idle hands are the work of the devil. Not sure this will help, but early on I did ANYTHING to stay busy. Mostly I just read or watched documentaries. But when that became stale I would simply go to bed very early. Anything to stay away from the booze. Over time the boredom disappears. When a person is sober they can do literally anything they want.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: Huntington, WV
Posts: 27
I asked my cousin just what did I do when I was sober a few months before I became sober. I was so afraid I'd be bored if I quit drinking. She rattled off a list of several things.
I don't do all of the things I use to do, but I've picked back up many things that I did do. I started knitting again for one. I think finding a hobby you enjoy is one of the best things to use your time on. But the best thing is to volunteer - there are thousands of things that you can do as a volunteer and the rewards you receive are countless! Take some classes. Yoga would be fantastic for the meditation. Learn to cook if you don't already know how to. Join a gym. Do yard work. GO TO AA MEETINGS! Go every day/night and try different groups in your area. Make friends in AA and go out for coffee or lunch with them. Keep a journal and write in it daily. Reconnect with your old sober friends and family. Take a walk and take time to notice all that surrounds you.
Go to a movie. Shop at thrift stores or yard sales. Go to church.
It sometimes takes a little while to make some things a habit, but try some of the above more than once. You just might be surprised at what all you find to cure your boredom! Good luck.
I don't do all of the things I use to do, but I've picked back up many things that I did do. I started knitting again for one. I think finding a hobby you enjoy is one of the best things to use your time on. But the best thing is to volunteer - there are thousands of things that you can do as a volunteer and the rewards you receive are countless! Take some classes. Yoga would be fantastic for the meditation. Learn to cook if you don't already know how to. Join a gym. Do yard work. GO TO AA MEETINGS! Go every day/night and try different groups in your area. Make friends in AA and go out for coffee or lunch with them. Keep a journal and write in it daily. Reconnect with your old sober friends and family. Take a walk and take time to notice all that surrounds you.
Go to a movie. Shop at thrift stores or yard sales. Go to church.
It sometimes takes a little while to make some things a habit, but try some of the above more than once. You just might be surprised at what all you find to cure your boredom! Good luck.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Well, the natural state of the unrecovered alcoholic when sober is, according to the big book of AA, to be restless, irritable and discontent.
The first six months I wore my self out trying to stay busy. And every time I tried to relax that horrible wriggley RID came back. I got tired. Very tired. And more than a little but crazy. Thankfully, in the end I decided to actually commit to step works with a sponsor. Now I can really enjoy my peace and quiet (when I ever get any!!)
It will get better if you keep working on your recovery.
BB
The first six months I wore my self out trying to stay busy. And every time I tried to relax that horrible wriggley RID came back. I got tired. Very tired. And more than a little but crazy. Thankfully, in the end I decided to actually commit to step works with a sponsor. Now I can really enjoy my peace and quiet (when I ever get any!!)
It will get better if you keep working on your recovery.
BB
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
