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Flow In, Flow Out Weekender Thread, December 14-18, 2017

Old 12-16-2017, 10:52 PM
  # 81 (permalink)  
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H&S,

I hate work issues more than anything, but you have been doing so well, don't let this knock you back.

Dee's ideas are great as usual.

For us, drinking over it is not an option, we know that. But its hard, I know that too. But who needs another day one, on top of everything else.

That is what made me really turn the corner, realising that I am an addict and that starting again just meant stopping again. And what is the point in that? A never ending series of Day Ones until there wasn't anymore Day one in me and then it would be really over.

Hang in there with us.
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Old 12-17-2017, 05:16 AM
  # 82 (permalink)  
ours de petit cerveau
 
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Originally Posted by Dropsie View Post
And that has led to my living in a state of constant chaos, work too late, bills too late, overwhelmed etc. But ask me a favour and I am all over it. And I always have to pay for dinner, etc.

But that means I can never relax because of the chaos. So that means I can't do my best even for others because of the mess.

Any advice?
imagine that your best friend/child/partner/etc has come to you with an issue that you yourself are having to deal with. what advice would you give them? what would you do for them?

then take that advice yourself, or do for yourself what you would have for the other person.

also, read "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie
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Old 12-17-2017, 06:28 AM
  # 83 (permalink)  
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Morning, everyone. Drinking coffee and reading around SR while letting YouTube follow some thread of songs it made up...artist after artist, enjoying it. Cloudy wet December morning here. Needed the rain.

Feeling good this morning. Will be home first half of the day...cooking ahead for Christmas, tweaking the house, some cleaning and laundry. Then later, I will be with my mother to make supper and do some Christmas cards with her.

I struggle against her depression and despair every day. Nothing makes me want to drink more than the hour or two ahead of going to her place, the anticipation of being in that deep darkness. I am not griping about her. Her grief and loss and despair are real and understandable. She is not being intentionally manipulative. It is just hard.

I AM ok. Getting through each day with the help of friends, partner, SR, planning, music, being busy with my own life. When things get dicey I make a call to someone who gets me. And I come read and post here.
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Old 12-17-2017, 06:33 AM
  # 84 (permalink)  
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Dropsie, I relate. I get further and further behind in the non-emergency areas of my life, until they too turn into into emergencies. Then I am confronted with panic, being incompetent in things that everyone else seemingly handles in stride.

No advice, just empathy while I also try to change this.
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Old 12-17-2017, 06:53 AM
  # 85 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Dropsie View Post
Thanks Gilmer.

Great to see you MB, glad to hear you are feeling better. I have suffered from depression and it is awful.

So, I agree with the pond analogy, but I tend to have the opposite problem, all out nothing in. So my goal for 2018, is to focus more on Drops and less on all of Drops peeps.

I like the analogy to the flight attendant saying that you have to put your oxygen mask on first before helping others, I am all out there for others, but forget myself.

And that has led to my living in a state of constant chaos, work too late, bills too late, overwhelmed etc. But ask me a favour and I am all over it. And I always have to pay for dinner, etc.

But that means I can never relax because of the chaos. So that means I can't do my best even for others because of the mess.

Any advice?
I think MLD nailed it on this past weekender thread that I'm linking below...then I went on to talk about my experience of becoming everyone's helper/fixer. My first recovery in 1989 was because of your problem. I know what a painful place that is, and it does cause depression.

Our physical and emotional resources are finite, Drops.

Skip on over to the "Friends & Family" side of this site - there are lots of great sticky posts. Even if it's not an alcoholic in your family you can still let full grown adults deal with their own problems and issues and not take them on as your own.

This is the OP:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ct-5-11-a.html (Learn to ask for help Weekender Oct. 5-11)
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Old 12-17-2017, 01:03 PM
  # 86 (permalink)  
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Some really good quality advice on this thread, I cannot add to it - well done Weekenders.

How long do you have to have the Interlock device SoulShine? I have a feeling they are not used in the UK.
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Old 12-17-2017, 03:35 PM
  # 87 (permalink)  
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Andy, BB505, and BBlue,

Thanks so much for the helpful replies, means a lot.

My therapist always tells me that if I can't do it for myself, pretend I am doing it for her, or for a client.

I did not see last weekender thread but I will check it out, read the OP and it seemed right on point and very thoughtful.

Thanks again -- now back to digging myself of my latest mess....
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Old 12-17-2017, 03:45 PM
  # 88 (permalink)  
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sao 315 days so it will be almost the day I got the dui by the time it is through
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Old 12-17-2017, 04:30 PM
  # 89 (permalink)  
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Hi everyone. Another sober weekend draws to a close! Been a good one for me. So glad for the company of Weekenders! Thank you for being here.

Back to work tomorrow, but will be taking Friday off. Yay!
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Old 12-17-2017, 11:28 PM
  # 90 (permalink)  
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Morning everyone.
Busy weekend doing college work.... Just hope it's ok. Trying to convince myself to stop worrying about it now as I can't do anything about it now until my tutor gets back to me.
Felt pretty rough too. Think I had a sugar hangover yesterday.... if there is such a thing. Feeling very emotional too... Just keep bursting into tears. Hopefully it too will pass. Hugs to all. Sorry for the tone of my post. Xx
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Old 12-17-2017, 11:43 PM
  # 91 (permalink)  
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Take care Petals and all of you guys.
We are in the home straight for Xmas.
Have a good week weekenders.
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Old 12-17-2017, 11:46 PM
  # 92 (permalink)  
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Petals,

Hang in there, school is tough, but only made tougher by trying to be too perfect. And worrying about the result too much. Give it you best whack and cross your fingers.

Take it from someone who knows.

Thanks weekenders!
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Old 12-18-2017, 02:52 AM
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We've gotta couple of "Double Whammies" coming up....not only Christmas and New Year's Eve, but both taking place over the weekend! Sorry, that just occurred to me....late bloomer here....what year is it?!?

Glad to be here with you all so we can get through it together

S&H check in please!
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Old 12-18-2017, 02:53 AM
  # 94 (permalink)  
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Theres no weekend the Weekenders can't beat Purps

D
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Old 12-18-2017, 04:49 AM
  # 95 (permalink)  
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whoop - six months for me today!

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Old 12-18-2017, 04:55 AM
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Thank you Purplrks,

Im still here i just had a tough weekend seems to be the norm now but day 55 today. soon i will be 60 days and i am looking forward to that.

congrats Andyh, 6 months is huge.

thank you for your support post guys i just prefer not to post to much when i am in a bad mood , they pass so its okay.

i spend all weekend cleaning again and applying for jobs. I am very stress out and i don't know how to handle it

Thank you for listening i did not post but i was reading here on the weekend.

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Old 12-18-2017, 05:12 AM
  # 97 (permalink)  
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55 is huge HaS! You are doing brilliantly.

petals you can only give it your best shot. Fingers crossed.
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Old 12-18-2017, 05:21 AM
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Nice going H&S and Andy!
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Old 12-18-2017, 06:46 AM
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Andyh!! 6 months is so fabulous!!! Congratulations, and very well done!
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Old 12-18-2017, 06:51 AM
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Good morning, all.

SO GOOD to see Petals and HAS. Hugs to you both. You are sober warriors!

I overslept and am slamming leftover cold coffee before jumping in shower to get out of here. I must go in to a client site nearby today for all-day meetings.

PERFECT day to oversleep.
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