sweetichick

I sent her a message to clear the air. I believe h e is torturing her like me. Told her I have no interest. Namely he yells too much. Wished her all the best and told her to have a good life and havee no anxiety over me. Feel so much better the guy is a dog anyway. Anyway the crux of it was that she has nothing to worry about.

Done4today

How are you sweetichick?

Dee74

I'm not sure what went on but I hope you got closure.
You've got other things to focus on, y'know?

When's the meeting you're going to sweetichick?

D

sweetichick

Feeling much better now I cleaned the air. I have told him my door is locked tomorrow. He won't like me messaging his wife. But I needed freedom.

sweetichick

I missed the meeting. I just felt like the shift with him had to end. I feel so bad for his wife. Tomorrow is another day. I told him not to knock. He doesn't get up till 10 anyway.

sweetichick

I have probably ruined the friendship but it was for the best.p.

eve123

If this man is a narssisist or just has issues. No good will come of any further interaction. Narcs devistate people and enjoy it. Drink will cloud your judgement about such people. Protect yourself which you have done and keep well away cut them off. Self care is important when dealing with toxic folkes. God bless go to AA if you can you will feel better n your mind will quieten down

Dee74

what about the meeting tomorrow morning?

D

Anna

Sweetichick, it seems like all your focus is on the neighbour and his wife.

What happened with the meeting?

Midwest1981

You can only control your side of the fence! I hope you have a good day sweetichick.

AnvilheadII

what friendship??

heavencanwait

I thought this neighbour was a boyfriend? Hmmm Now has a wife..?!

ReadyAtLast

I thought he was your ex boyfriend. 😕no wonder his wife is suspicious if he is round your house so much and all the drama the 2 of you have.

He has a wife so all the more reason to cut him out of your life. Actions speak louder than any words you can say to his wife.

jryan19982

I think it is time for you to leave the who neighbor thing behind you. It seems like you keep trying to out your head back into that drama... to be healthy that needs to end. Stop associating with them. Trying to message his wife about whatever really isnt appropriate... just leave their issues behind you and I think you will have a much happier life.

sweetichick

You can pass judgment. He was a boyfriend till I ended it due to my conscience. He is in a sexless marriage. Hes into kink. Anyway who is knocking on whose door? She is frigid due to his kinky taste.

JustTony

Hi Sweetichick,

I hope you're still fighting the good fight and staying clear of the booze? From reading this thread I can see that AA is your chosen format of support? Are you going to a meeting today?

As for the neighbour and his wife? No judgements here. Life is complicated and things happen that need no justification on here unless they are relevant to your recovery I suppose. But on that note (and I just wondered?) is your neighbour an alcoholic too? I ask because personal history to one side - that might not be the best relationship (platonic or otherwise) for you to be having whilst in recovery.

Wishing you all the best from the opposite side of the World.

JT

Berrybean

Hugs and peace to you Sweet.

You know, I don't hear judging here,just folk who are suggesting that this man and the drama he brings aren't likely to bring you serenity or be good for your sobriety.

Its a rare person here whose addictive thinking didn't lead them to act against their conscience and lose their integrity. Judging helps nobody. Thing is, same can be said re this man's wife. Words like frigid are usually judgemental. I should imagine her experiences have been hellish if she has been brought away from her home and family to live with a man who she'd pinned all her hopes and, from the sound of things turned out to be sexually bullying. That is abusive sex. Rape happens within many abusive marriages, so IF she's off sex perhaps there is a very good reason why. What he describes as 'kink' probably seems much darker and scarier if she doesn't feel she can get away from him.

Anyway. Not our monkeys, not our circus.

What's the plan for today and the weekend SC? Meetings? Coffee with some ladies from AA perhaps? Make some Christmas cookies or write a letter to someone you love? Or perhaps go offer some of that bothersome sober time to help someone who could do with a hand? Bet there's lots of things you could be doing and focussing on rather than compulsions to drink or for unhealthy relationships (and that isn't judging - I just mean that these things can have just the same pull as alcohol - after all they are adrenaline fuelled, smell of excitement, and are mood changers). I'd suggest keeping real busy with positive stuff SC.

Chin up Chicka
BB x

Dee74

I think you're better off leaving the both off them firmly in your rear view mirror sweetichick - your recovery is a million times more important than any Days Of Our Lives stuff.

D

sweetichick

Hi. Yes he was a heavy drinker. He has a fatty liver. He gave up drinking without wAa and expects me to do the same. He was well known at the local watering hole.

PeacefulWater12

I found putting the focus on myself and my recovery was my best way forward.