Neighbor wife mess
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,384
Click on their name at the left above their avatar.
D
ignore bothersome members. If there is someone on the forum that bothers you, select the ignore option on the drop down menu under their name on the post. you won't see any posts from this member again.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,036
Hi Sweetichick,
I hope you are doing okay tonight. Will you be celebrating your daughter's birthday tomorrow? Do you have any plans for the weekend? Are you going to be able to fit in a meeting?
I hope you are doing okay tonight. Will you be celebrating your daughter's birthday tomorrow? Do you have any plans for the weekend? Are you going to be able to fit in a meeting?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,384
Hey sweetichick
we seem to have gotten off the track regarding the topic at hand which is your recovery.
I know your daughter wants no contact - that must be hard.
How are you coping with that?
D
we seem to have gotten off the track regarding the topic at hand which is your recovery.
I know your daughter wants no contact - that must be hard.
How are you coping with that?
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by sweetichick 
This is. A terrible time of year for me. If you don't get it then ignore the thread. Don't abuse me
i had a cousin- her name was amy. amy was a truly amazing woman. and awesome mother of 3, and awesome wife, an awesome sister(her and her brother had the sibling relationship MANY would want),and daughter. a pediatric physical therapist for years. shes helped hundreds nd hundreds of families through very traumatic times-they called her "sarge" at work. not an addict or alcoholic either. november 18 this year- 4 days before thankgiving, her husband found her dead in her bed. she went to sleep the night beforeand died from a massive aneurysm.
the entire family ks going through a very difficult time. the entire family is TREATING the mental and emotional pain, and NOT with pills or booze- because thats what sane people do- they face the problems,find solutions,and trudge.
sweeti, you yourself said its groundhog day,didnt you?, which means the same crap is happening over and over and over and over, so that means something is untreated. valium wont treat it. the same thing will happen in 365 days.
between now and then, there will be more events that you will post here. it will be the same things over and over and over and over.
until you treat the underlying issue-untreated alcoholism.
if you read back through your posts/threads, the exact same chaos and insanity ks occuring whether youve been drinking or not- untreated alcoholism.
but you can call it what you want. something is untreated and valium isnt the treatment-only the mask.
choices-youve got em.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,802
Originally Posted by Dee74
Hey sweetichick
we seem to have gotten off the track regarding the topic at hand which is your recovery.
I know your daughter wants no contact - that must be hard.
How are you coping with that?
D
we seem to have gotten off the track regarding the topic at hand which is your recovery.
I know your daughter wants no contact - that must be hard.
How are you coping with that?
D
I am trying just to wipe it from my mind. Only way I can cope.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,802
Originally Posted by tomsteve
its a terrible time for many.
i had a cousin- her name was amy. amy was a truly amazing woman. and awesome mother of 3, and awesome wife, an awesome sister(her and her brother had the sibling relationship MANY would want),and daughter. a pediatric physical therapist for years. shes helped hundreds nd hundreds of families through very traumatic times-they called her "sarge" at work. not an addict or alcoholic either. november 18 this year- 4 days before thankgiving, her husband found her dead in her bed. she went to sleep the night beforeand died from a massive aneurysm.
the entire family ks going through a very difficult time. the entire familyTREATING the mental and emotional pain, and NOT with pills or
booze- because thats what sane people do- they face the problems,find solutions,and trudge.
sweeti, you yourself said its groundhog day,didnt you?, which means the same crap is happening over and over and over and over, so that means something is untreated. valium wont treat it. the same thing will happen in 365 days.
between now and then, there will be more events that you will post here. it will be the same things over and over and over and over.
until you treat the underlying issue-untreated alcoholism.
if you read back through your posts/threads, the exact same chaos and insanity ks occuring whether youve been drinking or not- untreated alcoholism.
but you can call it what you want. something is untreated and valium isnt the treatment-only the mask.
choices-youve got em.
i had a cousin- her name was amy. amy was a truly amazing woman. and awesome mother of 3, and awesome wife, an awesome sister(her and her brother had the sibling relationship MANY would want),and daughter. a pediatric physical therapist for years. shes helped hundreds nd hundreds of families through very traumatic times-they called her "sarge" at work. not an addict or alcoholic either. november 18 this year- 4 days before thankgiving, her husband found her dead in her bed. she went to sleep the night beforeand died from a massive aneurysm.
the entire family ks going through a very difficult time. the entire familyTREATING the mental and emotional pain, and NOT with pills or
booze- because thats what sane people do- they face the problems,find solutions,and trudge.
sweeti, you yourself said its groundhog day,didnt you?, which means the same crap is happening over and over and over and over, so that means something is untreated. valium wont treat it. the same thing will happen in 365 days.
between now and then, there will be more events that you will post here. it will be the same things over and over and over and over.
until you treat the underlying issue-untreated alcoholism.
if you read back through your posts/threads, the exact same chaos and insanity ks occuring whether youve been drinking or not- untreated alcoholism.
but you can call it what you want. something is untreated and valium isnt the treatment-only the mask.
choices-youve got em.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: London(ish)
Posts: 202
Originally Posted by sweetichick
Still can't find the ignore function. I tried.
If you are on the desktop site you click on their name (on the left beside their post) and you get a dropdown menu. The last option in the menu is "Add xxxxxxxxx to your ignore list"
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,802
I will try locking him out for a few days even though it will block the breeze I tried asking him to leave me alone and just got texec insults and how I needed to get rid of my values. He makes fifty shades of grey look like a Great rated movie. You guys are right. I can't get sober with all this drama and abuse all the time. This has been going on too long. No wonder his 3rd wife drank herself to death. I can see your point about valium. I won't be asking for anymore.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,384
Hi Sweetichick.
I'm sorry that you seem stuck on this issue.
Here's my advice.
This guy is not going to end it - you need to end it ... and thats gonna mean more than simply shutting the front door for a few days.
Just as we have toxic ways of thinking and toxic ways of behaving, we can have toxic relationships too.
This guy is a jerk a bully, a control freak...and hes married.
Drop him like he's hot - no contact - and get back to working on staying sober.
Did you make any meetings over the weekend?
D
I'm sorry that you seem stuck on this issue.
Here's my advice.
This guy is not going to end it - you need to end it ... and thats gonna mean more than simply shutting the front door for a few days.
Just as we have toxic ways of thinking and toxic ways of behaving, we can have toxic relationships too.
This guy is a jerk a bully, a control freak...and hes married.
Drop him like he's hot - no contact - and get back to working on staying sober.
Did you make any meetings over the weekend?
D
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,802
No I wanted to last night but couldn't think of what to say if Was asked to share. I was still a bit upset over my daughter birthday. I know meetings have to be a top priority. I don't think even a dvo would stop this guy to be honest.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by sweetichick
No I wanted to last night but couldn't think of what to say if Was asked to share. I was still a bit upset over my daughter birthday. I know meetings have to be a top priority. I don't think even a dvo would stop this guy to be honest.
Bottom line though, you are right - meetings likely do need to be a top priority for you. But you don't appear to be making them a priority. You appear to continue to focus on the drama around your neighbor. Nothing will ever get better if you continue to do that and make excuses why you can't change. Make no mistake...you are the one that has to change, not the people around you.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,802
You are right. To be honest my neighbour is so draining it can take 2 hours to recover. Not good if you are planning AA meeting that night. If nothing changes I will be dead. I am not healthy although pick up after a couple of weeks with no grog. I understand your point just not sure what to do asking him to go away doesn't work. Letting him kick my door in doesn't work. Maybe the police are the only option but he lives 5 metres away. My last 2 dvos against others just made them madder and meaner.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,966
Originally Posted by sweetichick
I don't think even a dvo would stop this guy to be honest.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,802
Maybe you don't get that my neighbour won't even let me go to AA. His wife thinks he has two because it's allowed in Thailand. Just throwing that in. And I don't know what I am going to do
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,384
this guy should have NO say in whether you go to AA or not, Thats ridiculous.
Geez Sweetichick thats ridiculous too.
You're obviously still very invested in this guy and all this stuff.
I don;t know what else to tell you.
You're gonna need to work out what you want because as long as you allow this BS to keep happening, it's gonna distract you from change.
D
His wife thinks he has two because it's allowed in Thailand. Just throwing that in.
You're obviously still very invested in this guy and all this stuff.
I don;t know what else to tell you.
You're gonna need to work out what you want because as long as you allow this BS to keep happening, it's gonna distract you from change.
D
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