Blogs


Notices

Today's New Challenge

Old 12-12-2017, 11:44 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 242
Today's New Challenge

A former partner invited me to "dinner" at a very very fancy private club. Very elite.
In the past, we drink for hours, ending up on the upper terrace with cigars and open bar of scotches!!!
Always a bad hangover; always blackout at the end.
This is our holiday "dinner".

I bowed out entirely, claiming a conflict.

So, I know this was best for "my sobriety" but it also feels like another loss -- I get to be a hermit, hiding out in church basements with the kind of people who need to hide out in church basements. Not exactly the way I wanted to live out my life.

Strugglingtoget is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Strugglingtoget For This Useful Post:
comtnman740 (12-12-2017), PalmerSage (12-13-2017), tomsteve (12-12-2017)
Old 12-12-2017, 11:48 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
tomsteve's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
I get to be a hermit, hiding out in church basements with the kind of people who need to hide out in church basements.


hmmm...is that referring to members of AA?
if so, i dont know ANY that are hiding out. they come to meetings to carry the message to the next alcoholic and go on about their lives after.

from the big book:
None of us makes a sole vocation of this work, nor do we think its effectiveness would be increased if we did. We feel that elimination of our drinking is but a beginning. A much more important demonstration of our principles lies before us in our respective homes, occupations and affairs. All of us spend much of our spare time in the sort of effort which we are going to describe.
tomsteve is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to tomsteve For This Useful Post:
doggonecarl (12-12-2017), least (12-12-2017), PalmerSage (12-13-2017)
Old 12-12-2017, 12:26 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Canine Welfare Advocate
 
doggonecarl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,564
Blog Entries: 22
First off, good of you to make the right decision to protect your sobriety.

Originally Posted by Strugglingtoget View Post
I get to be a hermit...Not exactly the way I wanted to live out my life.
You haven't been on SR long, so I'm assuming your sobriety has been a few months? A little soon to be attributing what you have to do in the short term to stay sober as your entire life.

When you learn to relish your sobriety, to appreciate your sobriety, you will be able to go anywhere, do anything without risk of drinking. But as I mentioned in an earlier reply, if you view sobriety as a punishment, as depriving you of "fun" or whatever, you will be miserable.
doggonecarl is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to doggonecarl For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (12-12-2017), least (12-12-2017), PalmerSage (12-13-2017), Verdantia (12-12-2017)
Old 12-12-2017, 03:41 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 187,709
Blog Entries: 1
Originally Posted by Strugglingtoget View Post

So, I know this was best for "my sobriety" but it also feels like another loss -- I get to be a hermit, hiding out in church basements with the kind of people who need to hide out in church basements. Not exactly the way I wanted to live out my life.
Lissen up strugglingtoget's AV...

There's actually a million options between going out with your ex on one hand and being a hermit on the other whether it's in church basements or staying home,, curtains drawn and lights out

Maybe some of the other basement dwellers have some social activities going?

Maybe you can think of things to do that need not involve alcohol - movies, museums, art galleries, coffee dates, sports, hobbies and interests.

For every social occasion you make the decision not to go to this years there'll be 20 or 30 occasions down the road where you will feel strong enough to go anywhere and do anything.

This is not the best things get

D
Dee74 is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
least (12-12-2017), PalmerSage (12-13-2017), Strugglingtoget (12-12-2017), Verdantia (12-12-2017)
Old 12-12-2017, 04:12 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Sobriety is Traditional
 
Coldfusion's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 7,752
Congratulations on deciding not to go!

As I gained time in sobriety, I came to see that I wasn't missing out on anything good by not drinking.
Coldfusion is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Coldfusion For This Useful Post:
least (12-12-2017), Strugglingtoget (12-12-2017)
Old 12-12-2017, 04:54 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
bona fido dog-lover
 
least's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: eastern USA
Posts: 84,755
Blog Entries: 32
Don't look at sobriety as a negative, it's not. It's a positive lifestyle. I love waking up feeling good. I love being able to go anywhere at any time and not be too drunk or too sick to do anything.

I'm not missing out on hangovers and self hatred. I don't miss guilt or remorse or shame.

I love my sober life. It's a good thing!
least is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to least For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (12-12-2017), Strugglingtoget (12-12-2017), Verdantia (12-12-2017)
Old 12-13-2017, 03:39 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 634
Hi Struggling. Now don't read this as me not taking your issue seriously but Dee calling AAers basement dwellers made me laugh! As Dee said, maybe they have other activities you can join in on?

Good job avoiding the dinner & the inevitable blackout.

Look forward to your grateful list on the November thread
JJ991 is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to JJ991 For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (12-13-2017), PalmerSage (12-13-2017)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:04 AM.