If you’ve relapsed, come in
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 242
Thanks so much Scarly!!
I need to be reminded that the "I'll just get wasted tonight..." can and will lead to YEARS of struggles and pain and drinking that gets worse!
However hard it is to stay sober now, it will be more difficult if I need to deal with a "next time" and in the interim I would live a life of struggle and pain. NOW is THE time for me to stay sober. NOW is the easiest it will get and my best chance!!
I need to be reminded that the "I'll just get wasted tonight..." can and will lead to YEARS of struggles and pain and drinking that gets worse!
However hard it is to stay sober now, it will be more difficult if I need to deal with a "next time" and in the interim I would live a life of struggle and pain. NOW is THE time for me to stay sober. NOW is the easiest it will get and my best chance!!
For me...once I became aware of the long term brain damage booze, or other drugs cause, I had a fighters chance.
Because I never had any long term physical problems severe enough to get my attention...the physical degeneration wasn't enough to motivate me to deal w the suffering of staying clean.
The prolonged mental hell i realized once clean for for a few months scared me. I was hyper paranoid.
Brain damage is real. Once we stop feeling the effects of the neuro toxin our brains get hyper vigilant. Paranoid.
Other words that could be used here are....crazy, insane, physco, schizophrenic...etc. The looney bin is a place some alkys find themselves.
If that isn't strong motivation for a person looking for a reason to not continue the death spiral.....I can only pray for them.
My crazy emotions will not get any better if I pick up again. 40 years of experience in binge drinking, the internet, and SR has taught me that.
I suffer through the craves to walk in the wonderful feeling only sobriety has been able to offer me.
The hell of physical addiction is gone...forever. The periodic mental anguish of sobriety is life. When I suffer i call it my PAWS.
When life long non drinkers suffer...they call it life.
Eventually, for me, I can see that PAWS and life will blend into life.
It has been all about education and suffering.
Thanks.
Because I never had any long term physical problems severe enough to get my attention...the physical degeneration wasn't enough to motivate me to deal w the suffering of staying clean.
The prolonged mental hell i realized once clean for for a few months scared me. I was hyper paranoid.
Brain damage is real. Once we stop feeling the effects of the neuro toxin our brains get hyper vigilant. Paranoid.
Other words that could be used here are....crazy, insane, physco, schizophrenic...etc. The looney bin is a place some alkys find themselves.
If that isn't strong motivation for a person looking for a reason to not continue the death spiral.....I can only pray for them.
My crazy emotions will not get any better if I pick up again. 40 years of experience in binge drinking, the internet, and SR has taught me that.
I suffer through the craves to walk in the wonderful feeling only sobriety has been able to offer me.
The hell of physical addiction is gone...forever. The periodic mental anguish of sobriety is life. When I suffer i call it my PAWS.
When life long non drinkers suffer...they call it life.
Eventually, for me, I can see that PAWS and life will blend into life.
It has been all about education and suffering.
Thanks.
Out of the blue I just don't like me right now. Not sure what prompted this feeling of self disgust. I wish I was proud of me....and not sure how I found myself in this thread. I'm staring into space and feel like screaming. Sorry if this post is in the wrong place.
Thank you to your contributions to this thread Scarly. So powerful
7 years sober. You relapsed then for another 6 years......
A wonderful job paying great money to drinking mouthwash to stop the shakes...
At least you're alive and doing well now.
Wow... your story has really touched me.
7 years sober. You relapsed then for another 6 years......
A wonderful job paying great money to drinking mouthwash to stop the shakes...
At least you're alive and doing well now.
Wow... your story has really touched me.
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