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I am scared

Old 12-12-2017, 01:00 AM
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I am scared

Hi, i found this site saturday night when i felt i needed to brake my chains from drugs, once i thought i was fun just that but now i see how wrong i was. i started with benzos i think that i one of the worst i have tried. i am on coke now, around 3 months ago i went to an institution here in my country and dr gave me diazepam...more benzos. i have been addicted to lorazepam and lost my mind so many times, i did quit benzo and jumped to ketamine. i was in a terrible shape but now is coke.... and is also killing me of course. Yesterday i really thought i was going to be clean, i seriously believed but today i fell again, i became a liar and i pretty much quit to university, is been almost 8 years of hell, i of course smoke pot but i also need to stop it cause is making me paranoid, i have a mental condition that only gets worst with all this ****. and i ******* know it, i have lost interest in living i dont care about anything i used to care, i am angry, i have become a little agressive which is something dont share. Sorry i talk to much, i am scared. let my feelings out is weird i am almost extremely shy and a loner, so introverted that surprises me i am posting something. i think is cause i need to fool my mind. i might regret later.
Cant help say censored words is cultural, and it feels good.
A la mierda la coca!!!
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Old 12-12-2017, 03:10 AM
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Welcome to SR Roza

There's a lot of support here and a lot of good ideas and understanding.

My demon was alcohol but SR helped me turn things around too and change my life.

Look forward to seeing you around.

ps as far as the language goes, I come from an Australian culture where swearing is pretty normal too - but it's not been necessary for me to curse here to tell my story here, or to ask for help

Somethings are more important than swearing I think - even in Spanish

D
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Old 12-12-2017, 04:25 AM
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Welcome Rozy! Those of us here understand being trapped by the thief of addiction. It’s hard to beat drugs on your own, so I’m glad you found us. It is not unusual to seek out a team of people to help us get clean. An NA group, a counselor, and a medical doctor are all common helps. Who do you think you can get involved in your recovery?
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