Horn95

Had a good weekend, and then Sunday came around. Sundays are always stressful because the next day is Monday....Typically I do not sleep well on Sunday nights. Last night was really bad. I went to bed about 11:45 p.m. and I was up every hour. At one point, I took a Klonopin, but that did not help that much. In fact, I think it may have made the anxiety worse. I HATE benzos. I only got these because last relapse I was concerned about withdrawals -- wanted to have them available if things got out of hand.

So here I am and the one thought that won't get out of my head is a couple of drinks could take care of this. Yes, I know, that is the worst possible solution -- in fact it is no solution at all. Once I leave my office, I will hit the gym, do some weights and cardio, then go to an AA meeting. I'm going to have to force myself to eat, though. My stomach has been in knots since early this morning.

I don't know where it happened, but alcohol has made my life so much harder. It is setting in that this a long haul. I abused alcohol for years, it will take a while to recover, and relearn my old life. I want so badly to be that happy guy again, a guy who is not dependent on some doggone substance for relief from all that troubles me. This is tough.

ScottFromWI

Anxiety is very, very common in early sobriety Horn. Time can help, but remember that while 14 days is great you are very early in the process.

It's also possible that you are dealing with/have actual/diagnosable anxiety disorder. I do but I didn't seek help until at least a year or so into sobriety. It is a very treatable condition both with or without meds, so don't rule out that solution long term if it does not improve.

I'd also recommend being very careful with the Benzo's - and only used them as prescribed by your doc. They affect your brain almost exactly the same way as alchol does, and they are very addictive.

Horn95

I have in fact been dx'd with a Generalized Anxiety disorder. But for years I was able to deal with it through talk therapy and CBT. Working out helps a lot too.

I am also aware that alcohol abuse alters brain chemistry, making a preexisting condition worse. I will just have to ride this out. And get back into therapy.

As for Benzos, I was aware that they act in the same manner as alcohol -- which is why I had a bit of "kindling."

DarklingSong

Hang in there! I had devastating anxiety in the early weeks of quitting. It gradually got better......made me realise the terrible damage alcohol does to the brain/neurotransmitters. I had always feared for my liver but had no real idea of the damage I was doing to my brain.
Support to you.

Horn95

thanks.

Dee74

This is not the best sobriety or recovery will get Horn.

It's not nice right now but it's a little short term pain for long term gain.

You will be that happy guy again.

Noone would get sober if they felt they lost out on the deal

D

Horn95

Thanks Dee!

Rodney18

I’ve got bad bad anxiety right now
But I know it’ll ease up in time
Yours will too

Silverback4

Sorry to hear your feeling this way.
It will get better though and I often have pangs of anxiety. Not as crippling as the first few weeks but very much still there.

I tell myself that staying sober means that things can only get better.
It won’t always be fairy tale status but it will get better.

If I drink things will only get worse. Fact! Nothing will be better.

Praying has helped me immensely with this. Even having a word with the universe each morning if you aren’t religious. It instantly makes me feel better about the day and helps with anxiety.

Mb3807

I’m still suffering everyday from anxiety and I’m at 5 months sober. For me I’m convinced I messed up my brain only the last 4 years, when I started to use alcohol to treat my stress, anxiety, or whatever you want to call it. Prior to that I quit several times but only for 45 days and had absolutely no anxiety at all. I’m new to this forum too, but I’m told that time will eventually get us back to normal. I’m struggling with you but let’s hang in there as We know now alcohol is not the fix.

Horn95

I’ve been doing meditation the last couple of days and it has helped. Things are pretty stressful right now. I have a very high stress business. Thanks for all the support everyone!

SeaOfSerenity

I'm at 1 year 3 months and still have anxiety. I'm diagnosed GAD as well.
I think over the 2/3 months my drinking escalated before I quit I damaged my brain as the anxiety exploded and brought new symptoms that I hadn't experienced before.

I did a lot of reading. don't think I missed anything online lol

for when the wanting a drink thoughts attack, I would think of the below sentence and know that I would have to wait 2 more years before getting the chance to experience how i'm actually meant to feel without alcohol swaying things for the first time in 15 years.

if you drink you'll never know

'it can take up to two years for anxiety symptoms to return to baseline in about a quarter of people recovering from alcoholism.[20]'
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genera...xiety_disorder