michael92604

My drinking is getting really bad. I never thought that I was an alcoholic before. It all started when I got out of grad school and started working full-time, 2 years ago. Before, I drank a lot, but not an alarming amount.

When I started working, I started drinking every day after work. I would have 2-3 beers, every day except Saturday. On Saturdays, I would get drunk with my girlfriend but I usually would pass out before exceeding 10 drinks. My habits were very steady. I rarely deviated from this routine. I was always fortunate to pass out early if I drank too much.

Now it's really bad. Three weeks ago, I had one half of a fifth of whisky every day for a week. Then I went cold-turkey for a week. Then one week ago I became upset because of something my girlfriend did, and I relapsed. Back to the one half of a fifth a day. Yesterday I only bought a six-pack of beer though. I finished 5 and then had the 6th this morning. Then tonight I went to Walmart to buy some envelopes but on the way home, I stopped at the liquor store and bought a bottle of scotch. I wasn't planning to buy a bottle today. I drank half of it and passed out.

I woke up this morning at around 3. I poured the rest of the scotch down the sink. I've never done that before.

Now that I'm on here, I probably won't drink again for at least a week, but I'm worried that I'll relapse again.

Well I'm getting tired and need to work in a few hours so I'm going to get some sleep.

FreeOwl

Yes.

That sounds pretty bad.

I've lived similar. It didn't get better until I chose to live sober.

Then it got better. A LOT better.

I hope that's the choice you'll make, too.

Mark1014

Michael, your post illustrates quite clearly the progressive nature of it all. Was on a slow fade myself for years and then a free fall. The decision to put alcohol down for good was best .

You can turn things around for good Michael. SR is a fantastic resource.

theVman31

Hello Michael.

Welcome to SR.
Your post will be familiar to lots of us here.

One thing to point out is if you dont stop, it NEVER gets better and only gets WORSE. Some have managed to break the cycle early enough others took a little longer.

I often got upset with my wife and daughter.
Or make them upset. Sometimes I still do.
But it wont make me drink today.

Glad you joined us.
You have come to the right place.
Get yourself in to some of the threads here and just go with the flow.
You can and will beat alcohol.

V.

teatreeoil007

Welcome Michael...we're here for you bud😊

wildflower70

I will only say that in my experience, the 1/2 of a fifth a night will eventually turn into a fifth every night. In my heaviest boozing days, I was buying a 1.75 of hard liquor daily and finishing it between myself and another lost soul.

Please quit now, before it takes your health, your dignity, and your life,
We are all here for you, and understand your pain.

Incontrol15

Welcome Mike. My slope started at a couple beers every day too. Well, probably before that really.

When I quit, I was an all day drunk. Had go take a shot in the middle of the night to quell the sweats or panic.

As mentioned, it's a progressive disease. It sounds like you have a much greater awareness than I did at your stage. That's awesome.

Be sure to take note that an event caused the relapse. Notice that alcohol has become your way of dealing with things. It's worth paying attention to what kind of emotions or events triggers drinking for you.

This way you can start to develop a better response system.

August252015

Welcome. Glad you're here.

Perhaps check out the Class of Dec 2017 thread in this same forum?

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...pt-1-a-10.html

comtnman740

Hey Mike,
I'm sorry that you feel the way you do. It can feel suffocating to be in that viscious cycle of drinking, saying you won't drink and doing it again. I was there many times until i realized that i was powerless over alcohol and whenever i drank my life became unmanageable. (Step 1 of AA). Have you thought about this? After i relapsed in February my sponsor made me make a list of two things. How i was powerless over alcohol and what instances made me drink (fight with girlfriend) and how my life became unmanageable when i did (losing my home). Give it a try it might help to put things in black and white for you.
Good luck! You're worth it!
Garrison

MindfulMan

Yes. That is getting bad and could rapidly get a lot worse.

Stop now or stop after 20 years of misery.

Start looking into treatment options. Now. Try 12 Step if you haven't already. If that doesn't work for you, there are more secular options, and this site has a lot of information about all of it.

Keep coming back. You can do this.

Verdantia

Welcome, michael. As others have said, this is a progressive disease. It will not get better unless you quit, and I guarantee that it will get worse if you do not. I hope you stick around--there is so much support here.

Anna

Michael, Welcome and I'm glad that you recognize that you need to stop drinking. I think it's important that you remember that stopping drinking is the first step. The way to make that stick and not relapse is to make lifestyle changes that will support your recovery.

We do understand how hard this is.

Dee74

Hi Michael

I was drinking all day everyday when I got here. This place helped me turn my life around - I know we can help you do the same.

It's never too late

D