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-   -   New here, and struggling to make a decision... (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/420115-new-here-struggling-make-decision.html)

sangoo 12-10-2017 09:01 PM

New here, and struggling to make a decision...
 
I've only had time to read through a few threads, and I can already tell I've found 'my people'. I can relate to almost every word.
I started actively trying to stop drinking about 1 1/2 years ago, after years of trying - and failing - to control or moderate. In the past year and a half I've had a few periods of success - days or weeks of sobriety - but have always returned to drinking, and returned with a vengeance. It's like the stress just builds and builds until I cannot stand it one second longer...
My episodic relapses led me to ask my doctor for a prescription for Antabuse. My thinking was that the Antabuse would take the option of drinking off the table, so I'd be forced to stay sober no matter how stressed I get. She prescribed it, but she also recommended IOP.
I've gone for an assessment and I'm tentatively scheduled to begin the IOP program next month, but I'm really struggling to decide if I'm going to go through with it.
My dilemma: I work fulltime in a high stress job, and I'm somewhat of an introvert - after a long day at work i just want to hang out at home with my dogs. This IOP program begins the year with 5 nights/week from 6-9 pm. It sounds exhausting, physically and mentally (not to mention how abandoned my dogs will feel.) In addition, it will cost quite a bit of money out of pocket, as my insurance only covers part of it.
I've had enough horrible experiences in the past couple of years that achieving and maintaining sobriety is my number one goal. And if the time and expense of IOP is the way to make that happen, I'll find a way to make it work. But is it necessary? Have others here been to IOP, and would you recommend It?
Any feedback welcome, and thanks in advance.

SimplyFree 12-10-2017 09:08 PM

Welcome Sangoo. I’m glad you found us and have started to post.

Berrybean 12-10-2017 10:01 PM

Why not look into AA meetings in your area and commit to giving that a really good go for a few months then see how you feel about IOP.

AA is free. Plus a lot of facilities base their recovery programs on the AA 12-step program anyway. When I say giving it a good go, I mean meetings plus getting a sponsor and working on the recovery program. You might still need 5 meetings a week initially,but at least the times and venues could be more flexible.

That too may be exhausting. Getting sober IS. Thing is, so is being an active alcoholic. At least with recovery things get gradually better instead of gradually worse. We get out off our recovery what we're willing to put in to it.

Anyway. Glad you found us and are here and posting,

BB

Delilah1 12-10-2017 10:12 PM

Welcome to SR, and great job taking steps to help you maintain sobriety. I have not done IOP, but I've heard good things from people who have. You could give it a chance, and see what you think, or as someone else mentionedk

axeman5971 12-10-2017 11:07 PM

I was like you. IOP seemed like an impossible commitment. It was 3x a week for 3 hours and no definitive timetable on length. It was so intimidating for the first night, the first week. It started to turn around quickly. I looked forward to it almost every time. I felt better after almost every session for the 10? 12? Weeks I was in it. I have a friend from the program who keeps me going - he tells me I do the same. My program offers free weekly aftercare if you complete the program. Just 90 minutes a week - one night. I wish it were more! I say give it a try, and take three things with you: open mindedness, willingness, and honesty. It can change your life.

Dee74 12-11-2017 12:17 AM

Hi Sangoo
I don't have any experience with AA or IOP, but I've spent a lot of time on these boards.

The bottom line is whatever method you choose you're going to have to make your recovery a priority,. and thats going to take time and effort.

Recovery needs to be every bit as important as going to work, or exercising or brushing our teeth and showering...in fact, to me, it's an essential like breathing.

Make the time. You'll get back what you put in and then some :)

D

theVman31 12-11-2017 12:30 AM

Welcome sangoo :)

"Any feedback welcome, and thanks in advance."

- Your already on the right path.
- Dont wait 5 months to post your next message.
- Get all the help you can get but you are the one who can lift that glass
- Your not alone in so far as having a high stress job but if it comes to it would you choose your job or your life, health and happiness.
- Dump all your alcohol and join some threads (the December class)

take care.

Gottalife 12-11-2017 06:28 AM

I have seen a lot of people go to rehab or therapy with high expectations that the treatment would fix them. The majority, including me, were disappointed. These programs can give a good start to sobriety, and may be able to address other issues, but the main thing I have found is that I needed a different way of living and thinking to remain permanently sober.
I probably should have been hospitalised when I quit. I was in bad shape, and I had the chance to go to another rehab. Somehow I knew that would be the wrong thing for me. I needed to take responsibility for myself, so all I did was go to AA and join the program of action. Nothing else needed.

Even though I didn't believe it would work at the time, I found permanent recovery and a life beyond anything I could have imagined.

FreeOwl 12-11-2017 06:44 AM


Originally Posted by sangoo (Post 6703871)

I started actively trying to stop drinking about 1 1/2 years ago, after years of trying - and failing - to control or moderate.

In the past year and a half I've had a few periods of success - days or weeks of sobriety - but have always returned to drinking, and returned with a vengeance.

It's like the stress just builds and builds until I cannot stand it one second longer...

My thinking was that the Antabuse would take the option of drinking off the table....

My dilemma:


Your Dilemma might actually be that you've not yet made the choice to be sober. From what you've shared, it feels more like the decision you're struggling with is the decision to embrace sobriety.

If you don't make that choice, then IOP, AA, Rehab.... it won't matter. It won't work if you've not chosen sobriety.

On the flip side - if you do make that decision, then the method will matter a lot less.

Make the CHOICE to live sober, then support that choice with actions.

:grouphug:

sangoo 12-11-2017 06:12 PM


Originally Posted by SimplyFree (Post 6703876)
Welcome Sangoo. I’m glad you found us and have started to post.

Thank you so much SimplyFree.

sangoo 12-11-2017 06:14 PM


Originally Posted by Berrybean (Post 6703894)
Why not look into AA meetings in your area and commit to giving that a really good go for a few months then see how you feel about IOP.

AA is free. Plus a lot of facilities base their recovery programs on the AA 12-step program anyway. When I say giving it a good go, I mean meetings plus getting a sponsor and working on the recovery program. You might still need 5 meetings a week initially,but at least the times and venues could be

That too may be exhausting. Getting sober IS. Thing is, so is being an active alcoholic. At least with recovery things get gradually better instead of gradually worse. We get out off our recovery what we're willing to put in to it.

Anyway. Glad you found us and are here and posting,

BB

Thank you Berrybean. Good point - if I'm going to be exhausted I might as well make it count and head in the right direction :)

sangoo 12-11-2017 06:16 PM


Originally Posted by Delilah1 (Post 6703900)
Welcome to SR, and great job taking steps to help you maintain sobriety. I have not done IOP, but I've heard good things from people who have. You could give it a chance, and see what you think, or as someone else mentionedk

Thank you Delilah1. I'm leaning towards diving in and doing it. No such thing as too much treatment for this affliction!

sangoo 12-11-2017 06:18 PM


Originally Posted by axeman5971 (Post 6703913)
I was like you. IOP seemed like an impossible commitment. It was 3x a week for 3 hours and no definitive timetable on length. It was so intimidating for the first night, the first week. It started to turn around quickly. I looked forward to it almost every time. I felt better after almost every session for the 10? 12? Weeks I was in it. I have a friend from the program who keeps me going - he tells me I do the same. My program offers free weekly aftercare if you complete the program. Just 90 minutes a week - one night. I wish it were more! I say give it a try, and take three things with you: open mindedness, willingness, and honesty. It can change your life.

Glad to hear you had a great experience axeman and I'm going all in and hoping for something similar. Thanks for your feedback. :)

sangoo 12-11-2017 06:20 PM


Originally Posted by Dee74 (Post 6703934)
Hi Sangoo
I don't have any experience with AA or IOP, but I've spent a lot of time on these boards.

The bottom line is whatever method you choose you're going to have to make your recovery a priority,. and thats going to take time and effort.

Recovery needs to be every bit as important as going to work, or exercising or brushing our teeth and showering...in fact, to me, it's an essential like breathing.

Make the time. You'll get back what you put in and then some :)

D

Thank you Dee74. I agree that sobriety needs to be my number one priority, and as essential as breathing. And I'm willing to put my all into it :)

sangoo 12-11-2017 06:23 PM


Originally Posted by theVman31 (Post 6703941)
Welcome sangoo :)

"Any feedback welcome, and thanks in advance."

- Your already on the right path.
- Dont wait 5 months to post your next message.
- Get all the help you can get but you are the one who can lift that glass
- Your not alone in so far as having a high stress job but if it comes to it would you choose your job or your life, health and happiness.
- Dump all your alcohol and join some threads (the December class)

take care.

Thanks theVman. I don't know how to join threads (not even sure if I'm replying to comments correctly!) but will try to figure it out. Alcohol has been dumped for a couple of weeks now, and I agree that sobriety is even more important than my job. Thanks for your feedback.

sangoo 12-11-2017 06:26 PM


Originally Posted by FreeOwl (Post 6704237)
Your Dilemma might actually be that you've not yet made the choice to be sober. From what you've shared, it feels more like the decision you're struggling with is the decision to embrace sobriety.

If you don't make that choice, then IOP, AA, Rehab.... it won't matter. It won't work if you've not chosen sobriety.

On the flip side - if you do make that decision, then the method will matter a lot less.

Make the CHOICE to live sober, then support that choice with actions.

:grouphug:

Thanks for your feedback FreeOwl. I'm not struggling with the decision to embrace sobriety, just trying to make wise decisions as I travel down this path.

Dee74 12-11-2017 06:30 PM


Originally Posted by sangoo (Post 6704870)
Thanks theVman. I don't know how to join threads (not even sure if I'm replying to comments correctly!) but will try to figure it out. Alcohol has been dumped for a couple of weeks now, and I agree that sobriety is even more important than my job. Thanks for your feedback.

All you need to do to join the Class of December is post in the thread Sangoo :)

here's a link:

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...pt-1-a-10.html
D

FreeOwl 12-12-2017 05:27 AM


Originally Posted by sangoo (Post 6704871)
Thanks for your feedback FreeOwl. I'm not struggling with the decision to embrace sobriety, just trying to make wise decisions as I travel down this path.

In my experience, the latter struggle was a function of the former struggle.

Once I'd actually made the foundation choice, the other choices became quite simple.

That's only my experience, I'm not saying it is yours. What you shared sounded very similar to the things I told myself for quite a while.

I wish you all the best in a sober, abundant, present, joyful life and in making the next right choice supported by the next right action.

:grouphug:

DreamCatcher17 12-12-2017 07:52 AM

Hi Sangoo,
Welcome to SR!

I have a feeling since your doctor recommended OPT, that there may be a good reason as to why.
I can tell that you really want to be sober and I applaud you for making the decision to do so!

If it were me, I would do it. I would go from 6- 9 pm every day to get better. That would allow time for me away from the home during those hours I would normally drink. I would look for a sitter for the pups, someone to maybe walk them, or play with them in my absence. I can't imagine this would be forever however it is a great start with great tools. From there I would then attend AA meetings.

I am sending good positive energy your way. I know you will make the best decision for you.
You've got this!

I LOVE being sober. There are so many new things I have found that I enjoy outside of the bottle. I now draw and paint, I may not be very good at it yet, but with time I will be, just like with drinking, I was PRO! lol. I like to do arts and crafts, sew, make new foods, and the list is endless. All these things I was too drunk to do or enjoy as my patience level wasn't there, that is also getting a bit better as time goes on.

You will see how amazing it is and never want to go back to that bottle!

:c011:

scarly 12-12-2017 08:57 AM


Originally Posted by sangoo (Post 6704870)
Thanks theVman. I don't know how to join threads (not even sure if I'm replying to comments correctly!) but will try to figure it out. Alcohol has been dumped for a couple of weeks now, and I agree that sobriety is even more important than my job. Thanks for your feedback.

I'd say maybe give IOP a chance. I can tell you really love your pooches :) and they deserve a happy, healthy owner.... If you think that this could help you .... give it a shot. Those pooches need you to be there for them to keep a *woof* over their heads....I mean *roof* :)


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