Crack cocaine severe addiction.
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Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 7
Crack cocaine severe addiction.
Hi everyone,
I am new here, I am hopelessly addicted to crack cocaine, tonight I spent 280 pounds on crack in thread. ee hours all the money I had with not a penny to see me through. When I get money I'll get all excited about crack and can't stop till I have spent every penny. I feel like such a fool. I hate myself. I've tried 12 step meetings but they don't seem to work for me, I dont know what to di. As so sorry to bother you all and thanks
I am new here, I am hopelessly addicted to crack cocaine, tonight I spent 280 pounds on crack in thread. ee hours all the money I had with not a penny to see me through. When I get money I'll get all excited about crack and can't stop till I have spent every penny. I feel like such a fool. I hate myself. I've tried 12 step meetings but they don't seem to work for me, I dont know what to di. As so sorry to bother you all and thanks
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
it is possible....there is hope..i'm 9 years plus off crack cocaine. once it's behind you, life will be more than you can imagine. it's a stupid awful drug. don't let it dictate what you do. fight back, find reasons o fight back.....it might not happen tomorrow, but if you fight the good fight, you will be free.
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Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 7
Originally Posted by neferkamichael 
AddictedScum, I was a crackhead for 40 years, now 6 years without. Realize you're gonna spend 280,000 pounds in the long run if you don't quit. You can quit, rootin for ya. 
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Join Date: Dec 2017
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Originally Posted by AnvilheadII
it is possible....there is hope..i'm 9 years plus off crack cocaine. once it's behind you, life will be more than you can imagine. it's a stupid awful drug. don't let it dictate what you do. fight back, find reasons o fight back.....it might not happen tomorrow, but if you fight the good fight, you will be free.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Pacific Coast
Posts: 785
IMHO, it's not self-control that you need.
It's wanting, wanting from the depths of your soul, to get straight more than you want to get high, and being willing to do whatever it takes to keep your priorities in that order.
Simple, but not easy. Welcome to recovery!
It's wanting, wanting from the depths of your soul, to get straight more than you want to get high, and being willing to do whatever it takes to keep your priorities in that order.
Simple, but not easy. Welcome to recovery!
A simple guy making his way
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
I am years crack free and love my life so much more. Know that wanting more and more as you do it is normal. Don't beat yourself up for that. The thing to focus on is not starting in the first place.
Change as much as you can. Your numbers, people who you hang with, places you go.
Crack is beatable as you can see others here have done it. YOU can too.
Keep posting so we can see how you are doing. Be accountable to stopping.
K
Change as much as you can. Your numbers, people who you hang with, places you go.
Crack is beatable as you can see others here have done it. YOU can too.
Keep posting so we can see how you are doing. Be accountable to stopping.
K
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Hi AS.
Welcome to the forum. There is hope. Plenty here have hit clean and stayed that way. You can too.
Glad you found us and are reading and posting.
Any chance that you could get into an inpatient program to get your recovery started?
BB
PS the 12-step recovery program is lot more than just meetings. Working with a sponsor on the steps (outside of meetings), supported by the fellowship of the meetings themselves is much more likely to be helpful. Thing is, we have to start with meetings so we can meet potential sponsors. Think of it like joining a gym. Just going there isn't going to get you fit. You have to actually do the exercise. And a personal trainer helps us to understand how to work an effective fitness program, otherwise it's a bit hit and miss.
Might be worth another go, with the willingness to engage in the 12-step work with a sponsor guiding you through it.
PPS. You're not scum. How about a more positive user name?
Welcome to the forum. There is hope. Plenty here have hit clean and stayed that way. You can too.
Glad you found us and are reading and posting.
Any chance that you could get into an inpatient program to get your recovery started?
BB
PS the 12-step recovery program is lot more than just meetings. Working with a sponsor on the steps (outside of meetings), supported by the fellowship of the meetings themselves is much more likely to be helpful. Thing is, we have to start with meetings so we can meet potential sponsors. Think of it like joining a gym. Just going there isn't going to get you fit. You have to actually do the exercise. And a personal trainer helps us to understand how to work an effective fitness program, otherwise it's a bit hit and miss.
Might be worth another go, with the willingness to engage in the 12-step work with a sponsor guiding you through it.
PPS. You're not scum. How about a more positive user name?
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Bethlehem, PA
Posts: 230
I noticed by your username you probably hate yourself right now. IMO you have to stop hating yourself and start loving yourself first... You clearly know what you are doing is self-destructive. If you hate yourself you won't care. Once you start loving yourself again you'll realize you deserve better than the life you are currently living and you'll want to change.
We all love you here and want you to change so if we believe in you and want a better life for you then you should too.
Something to think about...
We all love you here and want you to change so if we believe in you and want a better life for you then you should too.
Something to think about...
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
another former crackhead here. one thing i didnt do when i put down the crackpipe is treat the addiction. i ended up drinkin and smokin pot for 3 more years. once i decided i wanted help and treated the addiction and alcoholism, with the 12 steps of AA, i recovered and gained a pretty nice life.
i read a little ya typed about having self control. i hope you can manage to do that, but if not, theres still help.
i read a little ya typed about having self control. i hope you can manage to do that, but if not, theres still help.
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Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 7
Thanks so much for all your supportive and genuinely caring, compassionate posts, I am so grateful and blessed there are people out there that care. I didn't think anyone would respond to my pathetic pleas for help. Thank you all who responded. Just some more info about me, I live in England, and I failed to mention earlier I also have a problem with heroin and am prescribed 50 ml methadone daily and am using on top when I have the money or it is offered. I guess I just am a really screwed up individual! My recovery worker is rarely around and super hard to get hold of. Inpatient detox/ rehab isn't really offered due to the expense and unless you have cash the powers that be would rather put you on substitute prescriptions. Once again thanks guys, am truly touched by your responses, God bless you all x
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Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 7
I'm not going to BS you guys, I did exactly the same thing last night, I lied and conned my mother out of 200 pounds and proceeded to smoke crack cocaine and inject heroin compulsively till I ran out of every penny. When I was broke I asked my dealer to front me ten pounds worth of crack as I obviously craved more. She refused which is not unusual for her, and the penny clicked, these people don't give a **** about me, they just want what they can get from me and don't care if they leave me with nothing, I have met no sincere friends who are active junkies, as the saying goes, never trust an addict. So, tomorrow I have decided is my first clean date, I will attend NA and CA meetings (not sure which to go for) and find a sponsor and work the steps, if it's the last Damn thing I do. Thanks so much guys for showing me there is a way out this dark miserable pit, much love to you all x
No Dogma Please
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: SoCal
Posts: 2,562
Of course you did. That's what crackheads do. That's what heroin addicts do. That's what alcoholics do.
Nothing we all haven't heard before. Or done ourselves (or some variant with our DOCs).
12 Step is a really good start, NA/CA in particular. People there have been through what you will be going through. I've met a lot of crack smokers who got sober. The secretary of my home meeting was homeless on the beach with a crackpipe in his mouth. A cop walked up and said he'd shoot him if he lit it and took a hit.
He lit it and took a hit. Cop got called away on an emergency before anything could happen. Met a woman who took him to a meeting and after a few false starts, he got sober. 15 years ago.
It's doable. It won't be pretty or easy. But it's your choice. And you cannot do this alone.
Nothing we all haven't heard before. Or done ourselves (or some variant with our DOCs).
12 Step is a really good start, NA/CA in particular. People there have been through what you will be going through. I've met a lot of crack smokers who got sober. The secretary of my home meeting was homeless on the beach with a crackpipe in his mouth. A cop walked up and said he'd shoot him if he lit it and took a hit.
He lit it and took a hit. Cop got called away on an emergency before anything could happen. Met a woman who took him to a meeting and after a few false starts, he got sober. 15 years ago.
It's doable. It won't be pretty or easy. But it's your choice. And you cannot do this alone.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
theres nothing wrong with admitting self control isnt possible and tossin in the towel- admitting defeat.
to win the war, i had to surrender.
keep posting here,eh? let us know whats up.
to win the war, i had to surrender.
keep posting here,eh? let us know whats up.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 7
The night before last I went to bed, I woke up at about 5 am and vomited terribly all over my bed, I put the covers in the washing machine and turned it on, then my electric ran out. I got into a sleeping bag and woke up at 7 pm. I felt terrible, I had missed my methadone pick up, but I knew that night at 12 am I would have my social security benefits go into my account, I shuffled around the streets desperately trying to kill time till 12 am, thinking only of heroin and crack cocaine, I felt like I needed it. It finally went in, around 250 pounds of tax payers money and I spent it all on crack and heroin. Now it's the next day and I don't have a penny, no electricity no food, it's like I have no self control. My life is one big mess. I don't know what to do, I was looking into an organisation called Christians Against Poverty and they offer a service where they can look after your money and make sure you get what you need, I'm waiting for their help line to open. Sorry I let all you guys down again, I bet you feel like you wasted your breath and I'm Reay sorry.
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