Slowly
 

I’m slowly asking things that I never have
So... anxiety as a kid- really horrible
Came and went for decades
Finally drank to medicate
Outta control and so I’m an alcoholic
Have stopped
My question is; could the initial horrible anxiety be due to the childhood abuse I endured?

good question for a professional, someone in the mental health field. Sobriety is the time to address those "other issues" we have.

Perhaps? I'm not qualified.

What I would say is that I feel very anxious for a while after stopping alcohol abuse and as my system rewires. If you have other previous experiences/issues/problems that make this worse is hard to tell. All I wanted to say is that I think most of us are anxious in the early stages of recovery.

Thanks for the responses
When drinking, I’m a liar and I lie to myself as well as others
It’s terrifying to be honest but I’m doing so now and it’s also kinda cool at the same time
I’m addressing my issues and it seems that I knew most of this already

I had a lot of anxiety as a child also and never learned to fit in with social situations until I went to college and hit the party scene.

I was bullied excessivly starting in kindergarten. My dad thought I just needed to learn to punch and beat those 9 and 10 year olds up (I was 5). He put boxing gloves on me and told me I needed to learn to help myself and that was that.

I didn't understand any of this, I only knew big kids were holding me down and intimidating me until I cried and I had no way to stop it. I was powerless and figured it was my fault. Ended up being bullied for years and am afraid of people as a result. Drinking was certainly my coping method for this. I was never actually able to even talk to anyone about my childhood until I told my wife a few years after we were married, I always felt it was really my fault.

I believe it’s great to find out reasons why we do things
I’m sorry you were bullied