DreamCatcher17

So glad to hear !!!!! Keep truckin' you are worth it

Dee74

I'm glad you made it through - do you think you need to bolster your recovery action plan LoveForMe?

D

LoveForMe

Yes. I know I should be doing more.

I've been to a couple of meetings. They make me want to cry... it makes me feel uncomfortable to be so emotional in front of people. I also have the numbers of 2 sponsers but I'm nervous to contact them. I haven't met them... They are friends of a good friend of mine.

I've tried talk therapy... I guess I didn't care for my therapist or got fed up cause I still kept relapsing and ended up 5150'd so I stopped going.

Anyway, I like to make excuses for everything and there they are. I need to stop, I know.

Delilah1

I am so glad you posted, and also that you are moving onto 185 days, that is fantastic!!!

Here are some great links you may want to take a look at. You may want to add a little support to your sobriety. Also, sometimes the holidays can be rough, that survival guide is a good one.

December Class 2017
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ad-pt-1-a.html

Link about Recovery Plans
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ery-plans.html (Psst...wanna know why I'm always recommending recovery plans?)

24 Hour Thread
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...art-321-a.html (24 Hour Recovery Connection Part 321)

What is a Recovery Plan
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...very-plan.html (What exactly is a recovery plan?)

Holiday Survival Guide
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ers-2-0-a.html (Thanksgiving and Xmas Survival Guide vers 2.0)

Berrybean

I cried all through my first meetings. Since then I've seen a lot of emotion in the rooms. Some good, some hard. But that's okay. Those rooms are a safe place to let those tears out. Chances are, after a little while, once you're more used to meetings and knew a few people's faces, then you'd be less anxious and raw and those emotions wouldn't hit so hard.

I too tried talk therapy before working the 12-step program. It was that which made me realise quite how difficult I found it to be honest. It wasn't so much that I lied to her. I just only told her the clean and safe version of everything. So missed out anything that was important or of real relevance to how I was feeling. Of course, that didn't work out, and I quit it feeling like I'd caught myself up in a web of untruths.

A few weeks ago I started a new period of counselling, one session a week for 22 weeks. This time, having worked the steps, I am more able to voice things, even if I think it might reflect negatively, or make for uncomfortable listening. These are things mentioned briefly on my inventory with my sponsor, that I realised (as did my sponsor) needed more in-depth work. It's going well with my counsellor this time, but I reckon if I'd not paved the way with my step-work I wouldn't have been capable of this yet and wouldn't get so much from those sessions.

It's also worth reading up on PAWs. This article helped me a lot once I'd reached 6 months https://digital-dharma.net/post-acut...r-immediately/ Incidentally, six months sober was when I was at my emotional rock-bottom and realised that if I had to live, I didn't want it to be feeling like I was, and became willing to lean into my fear, risk discomfort and really go for it with my recovery. Up to then I'd stayed sober and gone to a few meetings. I resisted meaningful communication, sticking to greetings and fake smiles. I didn't feel the need for 'someone like me' to get a sponsor or work the steps (after all, I was sober wasn't I!!!) I didn't want to contact on phone numbers given to me, so I didn't. I didn't want the embarrassment of one to one chats so I ignored suggestions about arriving early and staying late to help set up and clear up. I was pretty unteachable and hard-headed in those first 6 months.

Anyway - I'm so, so glad you got over that bump. Please do add things into your plan. That PAWs article is pretty good for ideas, as are Dees threads on making a plan. http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...y-plans-1.html

Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery.

BB

Dee74

I wouldn't say you're making excuses at all - but it would be a shame if you stopped trying to find the right support for yourself.

Support makes continued recovery so much easier IMO

D

Stronger2017

Excellent LFM! Well done on the six months too😀

wpainterw

You're so right. It was your AV trying to drag you back into its territory. Always be wary of the Beast. Watch out for it. Sense its power. As time goes by its power will lessen. i have nearly 30 years of sobriety and am under tremendous family stress but I never think of drinking- It just never occurs to me. Alcohol is the world's very worst self medication.

W.

Verdantia

Brilliant, Love! Wishing you continued strength on your sober journey.

Anna

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