Urgent I messed up please someone help me
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
One thing is certain; being drunk will not help. Not for you. Not for your children.
A great place to start is with yourself.
Get and stay sober. Give yourself and your children Love.
When things get crazy sometimes focusing on the basics is the best we can do.
A great place to start is with yourself.
Get and stay sober. Give yourself and your children Love.
When things get crazy sometimes focusing on the basics is the best we can do.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: WI, USA
Posts: 15
It sounds like your son is rebelling. He's taunting you. I would guess he's quite angry about something. You can pray for what you want for him. But I don't think you can directly address the situation yourself. He's shutting you out. He's probably is not aware of exactly why he is doing it.
Children sometimes hurt themselves out of spite toward their parents. They know the best way to hurt their parents is to hurt themselves. He probably has deep resentments.
But you are still his parent. You are still bound to give him sound counsel. Therefore, tell him not to drink to excess, or do drugs, and that homosexuality is a sin. Then, at least you can live with yourself.
One thing I really wish I would have been told when I was young is, "Intentionally drinking ones self to intoxication is a mortal sin."
Children sometimes hurt themselves out of spite toward their parents. They know the best way to hurt their parents is to hurt themselves. He probably has deep resentments.
But you are still his parent. You are still bound to give him sound counsel. Therefore, tell him not to drink to excess, or do drugs, and that homosexuality is a sin. Then, at least you can live with yourself.
One thing I really wish I would have been told when I was young is, "Intentionally drinking ones self to intoxication is a mortal sin."
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 165
Originally Posted by AwesomeMachine 
It sounds like your son is rebelling. He's taunting you. I would guess he's quite angry about something. You can pray for what you want for him. But I don't think you can directly address the situation yourself. He's shutting you out. He's probably is not aware of exactly why he is doing it.
Children sometimes hurt themselves out of spite toward their parents. They know the best way to hurt their parents is to hurt themselves. He probably has deep resentments.
But you are still his parent. You are still bound to give him sound counsel. Therefore, tell him not to drink to excess, or do drugs, and that homosexuality is a sin. Then, at least you can live with yourself.
One thing I really wish I would have been told when I was young is, "Intentionally drinking ones self to intoxication is a mortal sin."
Children sometimes hurt themselves out of spite toward their parents. They know the best way to hurt their parents is to hurt themselves. He probably has deep resentments.
But you are still his parent. You are still bound to give him sound counsel. Therefore, tell him not to drink to excess, or do drugs, and that homosexuality is a sin. Then, at least you can live with yourself.
One thing I really wish I would have been told when I was young is, "Intentionally drinking ones self to intoxication is a mortal sin."
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 165
It was a very difficult night for me last night and even today. Even though i dranked last night i was so emotional besides the headache this morning i dont even recall drinking but more crying. Today i did not drink and have not had the desire to drink. I regret drinking but im not beating myself up about it.. i just have to be stronger. My friend called me today wanting to talk about my son and trying to give me advice. My friend could not understand that i didnt want to discuss it and that today was a new day. She constantlt kept telling me I need to talk to my son more and more about why he is gay etc.. i got so annoyed because i talked all night about it and i just dont want to discuss it anymore. I told her i have to stay sober today now can you please stop talking about it? And before i knew it i said "Oh hey is your boyfriend still on herion, i heard they said he goes to the meth clinic.... i know i shouldnt have said that but i was annoyed as heck lol
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,040
Originally Posted by AwesomeMachine
It sounds like your son is rebelling. He's taunting you. I would guess he's quite angry about something. You can pray for what you want for him. But I don't think you can directly address the situation yourself. He's shutting you out. He's probably is not aware of exactly why he is doing it.
Children sometimes hurt themselves out of spite toward their parents. They know the best way to hurt their parents is to hurt themselves. He probably has deep resentments.
But you are still his parent. You are still bound to give him sound counsel. Therefore, tell him not to drink to excess, or do drugs, and that homosexuality is a sin. Then, at least you can live with yourself.
One thing I really wish I would have been told when I was young is, "Intentionally drinking ones self to intoxication is a mortal sin."
Children sometimes hurt themselves out of spite toward their parents. They know the best way to hurt their parents is to hurt themselves. He probably has deep resentments.
But you are still his parent. You are still bound to give him sound counsel. Therefore, tell him not to drink to excess, or do drugs, and that homosexuality is a sin. Then, at least you can live with yourself.
One thing I really wish I would have been told when I was young is, "Intentionally drinking ones self to intoxication is a mortal sin."
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
This young person identifies as a female and so the correct pronoun is "She".
I know you are upset. I know that you may not like her decisions. The one positive thing you can do is stay sober, stay in contact with her and help her through this time. She needs your support now more than ever. Her road is not an easy one to walk and the support and love from you will help her through.
She has a lot going on. You do too. We are all here to support you. Hugs all around.
I know you are upset. I know that you may not like her decisions. The one positive thing you can do is stay sober, stay in contact with her and help her through this time. She needs your support now more than ever. Her road is not an easy one to walk and the support and love from you will help her through.
She has a lot going on. You do too. We are all here to support you. Hugs all around.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
Originally Posted by AwesomeMachine
Therefore, tell him not to drink to excess, or do drugs, and that homosexuality is a sin. Then, at least you can live with yourself.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/glbtq-recovery/
Dee
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: CA
Posts: 10,681
It took me time to adjust to family members who are gay and transgender.
It took me time to adjust to pronoun changes. I went through a stage of grief and worry. I was confused and had little information or knowledge. You don't have to do anything right now but process the new information you received. It's a big adjustment for family members, especially when you didn't see it coming. It is a life changing event for some of us.
It took me time to adjust to pronoun changes. I went through a stage of grief and worry. I was confused and had little information or knowledge. You don't have to do anything right now but process the new information you received. It's a big adjustment for family members, especially when you didn't see it coming. It is a life changing event for some of us.
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: ohio
Posts: 3,615
Maybe your eldest child is transgender, maybe your child is gay. I can’t tell what’s going on in his or her mind from a single post.
But I can tell you as a gay person who has been around the block a few times on coming out, talking ad nauseum about WHY or HOW isn’t going to get you anywhere but both of you will have hurt feelings. It is whatever it it. Your son or daughter will figure it out. Being calm and kind will go a very, very very long way. You might find that if you stay calm, kind (and sober), your eldest child will settle down and will get to the essence of it. Maybe you have a gay son, maybe you have a daughter. But if you are kind and calm, your eldest will have a soft place to land in a safe environment. Be the safe, kind place, and it will be ok.
But I can tell you as a gay person who has been around the block a few times on coming out, talking ad nauseum about WHY or HOW isn’t going to get you anywhere but both of you will have hurt feelings. It is whatever it it. Your son or daughter will figure it out. Being calm and kind will go a very, very very long way. You might find that if you stay calm, kind (and sober), your eldest child will settle down and will get to the essence of it. Maybe you have a gay son, maybe you have a daughter. But if you are kind and calm, your eldest will have a soft place to land in a safe environment. Be the safe, kind place, and it will be ok.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 165
Originally Posted by wehav2day
Maybe your eldest child is transgender, maybe your child is gay. I can’t tell what’s going on in his or her mind from a single post.
But I can tell you as a gay person who has been around the block a few times on coming out, talking ad nauseum about WHY or HOW isn’t going to get you anywhere but both of you will have hurt feelings. It is whatever it it. Your son or daughter will figure it out. Being calm and kind will go a very, very very long way. You might find that if you stay calm, kind (and sober), your eldest child will settle down and will get to the essence of it. Maybe you have a gay son, maybe you have a daughter. But if you are kind and calm, your eldest will have a soft place to land in a safe environment. Be the safe, kind place, and it will be ok.
But I can tell you as a gay person who has been around the block a few times on coming out, talking ad nauseum about WHY or HOW isn’t going to get you anywhere but both of you will have hurt feelings. It is whatever it it. Your son or daughter will figure it out. Being calm and kind will go a very, very very long way. You might find that if you stay calm, kind (and sober), your eldest child will settle down and will get to the essence of it. Maybe you have a gay son, maybe you have a daughter. But if you are kind and calm, your eldest will have a soft place to land in a safe environment. Be the safe, kind place, and it will be ok.
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