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Old 12-01-2017, 06:10 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Regret


It occurred to me today that I first found this website back in 2012. That means I have suspected that I have had a drinking problem for nearly 6 years and have failed to get sober until recently. Of course, I have tried and failed in the past but I guess my heart was not in it. All the heartache, bad decisions, ruined relationships, fear and self-loathing could have been avoided sooner!!

I told my sister today that I have stopped drinking and was pleased when she said she would buy me some fancy soft drinks to celebrate Christmas day at her house. Why was I so scared of her reaction?
Iím sorry for all my posts Ė it helps to write down what Iím thinking. It keeps me on the straight and narrow!

Thanks for reading.
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Old 12-01-2017, 06:43 AM   #2 (permalink)
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I’m glad you are here and posting. It is always wonderful to hear people reclaiming their lives from alcohol. Nice work, stay with it and I look forward to hearing from you again soon.
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Old 12-01-2017, 07:02 AM   #3 (permalink)
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When I knew better I did better.

I'm glad you are going to have a nice Christmas with family.
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Old 12-01-2017, 07:09 AM   #4 (permalink)
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That's awesome about your sister! Looking back, I regret a lot too and am angry with my drinking for what it made me miss out. However I am looking forward to things as a sober person. I get to see what the normies feel like LOL
For 20 years, I didn't know you could decorate a Christmas tree without a bottle of port
Every day is a gift now and the what if's and denial, well it was all a road to get here.
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Old 12-01-2017, 04:05 PM   #5 (permalink)
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My regret has diminished over the years misscostalot - I reckon I've done more in the last ten years than I did in the previous twenty.

Of course I wish I hadn't wasted those years, but everything I have done has bought me here - and here is not so bad

D
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Old 12-01-2017, 04:35 PM   #6 (permalink)
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I think it takes awhile for the guilt and regret to lessen. You will be able to forgive yourself, and in fact, forgiving yourself is important to help you move on.

I'm glad you will have your sister's support.
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Old 12-01-2017, 06:32 PM   #7 (permalink)
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I so agree that it takes time for guilt and regret to lesson. Stick with it and it will. Sometimes it will feel as though amends just aren't enough; never enough. And, it may feel as though you'll never forgive yourself....

But like a knot you get in your trapezius muscle, it's got to be worked out somehow...and we all know how those knots can feel....like they'll never dissipate. Hang in there and don't give up.
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Old 12-01-2017, 07:06 PM   #8 (permalink)
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I have no regrets. If I'd been married with kids i probably wouldn't be able to say that.

There is a concept in finance called a sunk cost, which is money that was spent in the past. When evaluating a project, sunk costs are ignored, decisions are made based on cost revenue PROJECTIONS alone. That money can't be unspent.

The past is a sunk cost. Sometimes wonderful memories and sometimes they make us cringe. But they are memories. What we build are experiences.
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Old 12-01-2017, 07:13 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Be proud of yourself for the action you're taking now, misscostalot. I spent far too much time agonizing over past insane behavior. It almost led me back to drinking. Please be kind & patient with yourself - you're doing great.
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A little voice deep inside me said, "Hello, I am here." It was a small voice, & sounded as if it were buried underneath the cushions of my couch. It was my soul...I had forgotten it.

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Old 12-01-2017, 07:14 PM   #10 (permalink)
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I regret a lot of my actions in the past, but I no longer dwell on them and stew in misery and self loathing. I learned from the past and can let it go.
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Old 12-02-2017, 01:02 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Better late than never! We all have regrets, but at least you're doing the work now!
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I realized I could probably go on drinking like this for maybe two or three more years, or live for another two or three decades...but not both. Suddenly the choice became crystal clear.
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Old 12-02-2017, 10:54 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Thank you for your support. 😊
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