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What were the worst months of your first year of sobriety?

Old 11-30-2017, 01:56 PM
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What were the worst months of your first year of sobriety?

I am in my fourth month (almost 5th) and this has proved to be the most challenging month yet. I thought it was supposed to get better, but this has been the worst in terms of physical AND mental for some reason. I kept my program going, but probably went to less meetings than in the beginning. Mainly just because the fatigue hit me so hard. I think I had some of the "pink cloud" phenomenon lingering around after the first month, but that really said BYE BYE to me pretty fast!
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Old 11-30-2017, 04:25 PM
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Congratulations on your (almost) five months chiquen. I remember feelining a bit of a lull in my recovery progress about every third month or so for a while, but I can't pinpoint which month I would say was most difficult. As far as things getting better, I was always looking for that too. In retrospect I'd say that the improvements kind of sneaked up on me. I still experienced significant cravings for the first 12 to 18 months but looking back I see that they were decreasing in duration, intensity, and frequency. Now at just over three years of sobriety I categorize the occasional thoughts of alcohol as more of a fleeting distraction rather than the attack of a grizzly bear they used to be. It's only in retrospect that I can see that change so clearly, but I'm certainly grateful. Getting sober was the important first step, but it did require that I face some problems in my life that I'd previously numbed myself to and that hasn't always been fun, but it is required to move forward. If you're not involved in a regular fitness program I'd challenge you to devote a solid three months or so to a program and then judge for yourself how it has impacted your progress. Exercise and careful attention to my diet really helped me both physically and with the anxiety brought on by facing some of life's situations without hiding in intoxication.

Hang in there! You've likely made more progress than you realize.
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Old 11-30-2017, 05:05 PM
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Hi congratulations on almost 5 months!

I'm 37 days in and I'm so tired even people are saying that I look tired.

Anyways I guess we just need to keep going
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Old 11-30-2017, 05:40 PM
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Congrats on your time so far!

For me, I was just coming back to life for about the first 90-100 days. I spent my time at home- going through major withdrawals then PAWS, pretty much only my parents for contact, groceries, etc, and dr visits with my team to assess all the damage and proceed accordingly with meds.

Month four I remember being very agitated. I recall describe it around here as like Holly Golightly' "mean reds" in Breakfast at Tiffany.

8 was a great month. Over 5-6 i started a new active job (waiting tables) and began the process of supporting myself again. I also started dating my husband to be- tomorrow! That's a long story but we dated in high shcool and he looked me up out of the blue in Jul 2016.

I remember being a bit overly sensitive at 9 and a mild depression kicking in between Tgvg and Christmas.

Month 12 was obviously significant and therefore great, but 13 and 14 were ones I felt significantly stabler and on target with everything.

Continuing through this year - SO much has happened that it's hard to group weeks or months together as much as it is the things that happened - deciding we would move in together when my lease was up - and that would be after we got engaged - stopping working unexpectedly and decided I should take some time (which has turned out to me from Jul 4, to Dec 5).

Everyone's path is different and I am facing a very different holiday season than I did last year- and a lot of that is MY family is solidifying and it's not all about what my FOO has done or wants.

Heading through my second year and looking forward to three - I know I have changed a lot and have become a great deal like the person I will be here on out - and am also sure I have plenty more to learn.
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Old 11-30-2017, 06:20 PM
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I'll second what Mark said about exercise. I was one of those that exercised even when drinking, and actually increased the regularity after I quit drinking. Not intentionally, but fortunately for me, the end of my pink cloud phase coincided with realizing gains from running and weights.

Maybe if exercise isn't your thing, you could try something else — an instrument, art, gardening, etc.? A sense of accomplishment in some other aspect of life is a great motivator.
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Old 11-30-2017, 06:48 PM
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Congrats on your almost 5 months. I canít pinpoint which month of early sobriety was the most difficult because it was up and down a lot for me. We have to keep it simple, one day at a time. We are feeling emotions we havenít experienced sober and this is all new. The pink cloud will come back if you stay active in recovery
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Old 11-30-2017, 09:27 PM
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For me the worst month was the first, it was getting into new routines and trying to focus on anything but drinking. Someone else said something about every three months feeling kind of blah, and I would agree with that. However, the months kept adding up, and then it was a year, and now I am one month shy of two years sober, and feeling good both physically and mentally.

I also second/third the votes for exercise, if I am feeling in a rut, or in a funky mood getting outside and going for a walk always helps.

Congratulations on five months!!!
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Old 11-30-2017, 10:34 PM
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The first month or two, which was also during the dead of winter, which made things even harder because it was always rainy and overcast and depressing. I distinctly remember going outside and working in the yard for the first time in about a year during my first month of sobriety. I was really proud of myself for emerging from the house on a Saturday instead of being drunk all weekend, as I'd been doing for a couple years.
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Old 11-30-2017, 11:16 PM
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I din't have a worst month, other than to say the first must have been the worst because every month after that was better than the one before. I had painful moments, growing pains you might say, where I learned important lessons about life, but, much to my surprise, there was never a time where drinking looked like an attractive option.

You said you were working your program, but doing less meetings. I didn't have the brains to figure out a program for myself, so I just adopted the AA steps. They seemed to have a record opf success that I couldnt manage trying on my own.

The meetings were important, I was trying to do 90 in 90 and the fellowship offered great encouragement, but I think it was a different kind of encouragement than one might understand today. The encouragement was all about working the steps and having a spiritual awakening, and that was where my recovery came from.

By the time I reached 90 days, I was well into step nine, and my life had changed completely. No one was more surprised than me that I reached the 90 day mark, especially considering I did all that time without serious thought of a drink. I didn't think it would work, but it did and I never looked back.

My experience since has been joining the action with the steps and helping others are key to permanent recovery. The reason it becomes permanent is nothing to do with willpower or even personal power, it just feels good and is very rewarding to live that way. Not drinking is pretty much a by product.

So, no bad months, just a few painful lessons here and there.
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Old 12-01-2017, 02:05 AM
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Month six and seven or me. Proper desperate. Desperate enough, eventually, to get a sponsor and start my step work. Then I had a turn around and sobriety was much better.

BB
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Old 12-01-2017, 02:09 AM
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Month 1: Hard because I was all over the shop, but I was excited and focussed.
Months 2 -3: Very pink cloud-ish, a lot of euphoria, but very tired a lot of the time.
Months 4-6: Less tired. The best months in terms of feeling positive.
Month 7: The hardest month. I moved countries and had a lot of anxiety resurface that I didn't know was an issue with me (I had masked it with alcohol).
Months 8-11: Properly rebuilding my life, re-evaluating my personality, rediscovering myself. I had a lot of energy to do this.
Month 12: A month of taking stock of the first year of sobriety. I went on holiday over this period and came back feeling great.
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Old 12-01-2017, 03:13 AM
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I have only just begun the journey, but being a pro at quitting smoking and failing I do know they have something called the icky threes. Mostly that there is so much support and care in the first three months and then it isn't there and it is do important to have good plans in place to deal with that. Something about the number three too. Some people experience at three weeks, some not til 6 months.
I know my icky three month will be smack dab in January and I am setting up plans yo get through it.
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Old 12-01-2017, 04:15 AM
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For me the first three to four months were the hardest because they coincided with a major round of depression. I didnít have much in the way of physical withdrawal luckily. The depression started before I quit drinking so quitting was not likely a cause of the depression. But, being depressed sure didnít make quitting any easier. Things improved a lot around the end of the first four months.
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Old 12-01-2017, 04:46 AM
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Months 4-5 were bad for me because they required a transition from just "dealing" with the aftermath of not drinking -- to actually getting some new plans in place. That, and work wasn't going well. Like a lot of drinkers, I used to drink when work was good and also when it was bad. Not being able to drink when the "most important thing in my life" was going to hell-- was challenging. Hence...the need for other pursuits to give me a sense of achievement.
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Old 12-01-2017, 05:46 AM
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First 30 days for certain! But there were some challenges around day 100 and certain days along the way we’re not friendly. I never want to see another day 1!
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Old 12-01-2017, 06:18 AM
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Months 9-12 were pretty awful for me....if we are talking just about year #1. The tremendous urge to drink lifted, that obsession with booze, around 8 months in. However, the reasons I drank in the first place cropped up....low self esteem, anxiety, co dependency, childhood trauma etc. I will be completely honest. I have not yet managed to find "happy, contented sobriety." I hit a bigger bottom than ever when I got sober - an emotional bottom. I never got the pink cloud. I am trudging through the muck day by day staying sober. I'm not a very happy person and I am working on fixing that through therapy and lots of body work and trying to find out what GOD means to me. But, I see that other people have been through this, and came through the other side. So I keep working at it.

So, if you are struggling and think that this is the hardest thing you've ever done, I will say yep it is. But it will be very rewarding when you walk through the fire and come out the other side. I believe that even though I am not there yet. I've seen other women do it. I want happiness and peace and serenity more than anything, so I keep trying. Don't ever give up.
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Old 12-01-2017, 07:41 AM
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Originally Posted by Bunny211 View Post
Months 9-12 were pretty awful for me....if we are talking just about year #1. The tremendous urge to drink lifted, that obsession with booze, around 8 months in. However, the reasons I drank in the first place cropped up....low self esteem, anxiety, co dependency, childhood trauma etc. I will be completely honest. I have not yet managed to find "happy, contented sobriety." I hit a bigger bottom than ever when I got sober - an emotional bottom. I never got the pink cloud. I am trudging through the muck day by day staying sober. I'm not a very happy person and I am working on fixing that through therapy and lots of body work and trying to find out what GOD means to me. But, I see that other people have been through this, and came through the other side. So I keep working at it.

So, if you are struggling and think that this is the hardest thing you've ever done, I will say yep it is. But it will be very rewarding when you walk through the fire and come out the other side. I believe that even though I am not there yet. I've seen other women do it. I want happiness and peace and serenity more than anything, so I keep trying. Don't ever give up.
Thank you for your honesty. I think it helps reading that sobriety isn't always amazing and easy. I feel like sometimes people in my program are on a constant pink cloud and it is off-putting. I am glad they were able to find happiness so quickly. I have to be happy for them and maybe look at them as hope that I can get better. I think life is just tough in general and "living life on life's terms" not MY terms is a huge challenge.
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Old 12-01-2017, 01:53 PM
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Originally Posted by chiquen81 View Post
Thank you for your honesty. I think it helps reading that sobriety isn't always amazing and easy. I feel like sometimes people in my program are on a constant pink cloud and it is off-putting. I am glad they were able to find happiness so quickly. I have to be happy for them and maybe look at them as hope that I can get better. I think life is just tough in general and "living life on life's terms" not MY terms is a huge challenge.
My experience is there is correlation between happiness and the hierarchy of needs being met at the base level. When food - shelter or overwhelming financial issues are the daily battle it is implausible to be smiley jack all the time. I have 3 1/2 years and life is a challenge, certainly. But not drinking has become the new normal.

There are the cheerleaders everywhere. Some are like the little boy whistling in the dark, perhaps. The friends around me who I find attractive have balance. Rarely do I read or hear top of the mountain experiences shared openly, and only in a general way the valley related. I seek the plains - the plateaus - the balance.

Keep trudging.....
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Old 12-01-2017, 02:10 PM
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First 5 weeks - in rehab, body in shock, mind rewiring, halfway didn't know which was was up.
First 3 weeks home - pink cloud
60-90 days (ish) - severe lethargy and depression. Restarted psych meds after many years off...depression started to lift as they took effect.
Next 2 months - IOP. Learned a crap-ton, cravings gradually vanished, started remaking my body. Quit the smoking habit I'd reacquired in rehab.
Month 5 - readjusting to the world. Tried and put a hold on AA, started therapy.
Months 6-7 - never felt better. Mild and fleeting cravings only. Seriously started remaking my life again.
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Old 12-01-2017, 06:02 PM
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Originally Posted by Healthyandsober View Post
Hi congratulations on almost 5 months!

I'm 37 days in and I'm so tired even people are saying that I look tired.

Anyways I guess we just need to keep going
35 days here Healthyandsober. Sounds like weíre on similar paths!
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