First AA Meeting
 

I stopped thinking about it and finally just went. I'm glad I did. Everyone was so welcoming. I took a seat in the back, and the guy next to me introduced himself and asked if I was new. I said I was, and it was my first meeting. He took me over and introduced me to some other women, and they pulled up a chair for me. The leader asked if it was anyone's first time, and I was hesitant to even raise my hand, but I did and was asked to introduce myself. I only gave my name, and she said "and you are..." I said "um, an alcoholic?" And then that was that. I've never said that out loud before, had my own personal debates in my mind if I am or not, and to be honest, felt like it was expected of me to say that whether I was ready to or not. That was the only part of the experience that made me feel uncomfortable.

It was a discussion meeting and the topic was gratitude. I didn't share but found myself listening with interest to what these people were saying. What really struck me was that yesterday morning, during one hellacious hangover, I started crying and said out loud "I need to get off this merry-go-round." So I took my a$% to a meeting today, and as an elderly woman was sharing (15 years of sobriety today) she turned and looked at me and said "Keep coming back. You can get off this merry-go-round." Almost creepy, but I knew then I was where I needed to be.

At the end I had a list of about 20 phone numbers from other ladies, and a couple approached me telling me to call anytime. I left feeling a whole lot lighter than I had when I walked in.

Glad you were able to overcome your fear and attend.

Wonderful. I hope you use these numbers should you find yourself struggling and the urge to drink becomes overwhelming.

It takes a lot of courage to go to a meeting, especially for the first time. So for that...great job 😊 I’ve been thinking about going to one for a while but I’m absolutely terrified. I’ve never been to one. Watching people like you have the courage is inspiring so thank you 🙏🏼

Thx Jek, I told myself to just go and if I hated it, I'd just go try a different one, and if if that was no good, then ok, maybe AA isn't for me. But I didn't hate it. :)

Do not be afraid to use those numbers if you feel the need to. I was too 'proud' and 'can do it myself' for longer than needed. It also helps the other person with their own recovery to be of service. There's a few younger guys that relate to me at my normal meeting and it brightens my life when they call in a time of need. Keep going back!

Linners,

Congrats and welcome to the biggest club no one ever wanted to join! I too knew I had a drinking problem. I too wanted to get off the merry go around. I too struggled with saying, "I am an alcoholic". Read chapters two and three of the big book over and over. You will see it's about YOU. I struggled the first 7 months because I didn't understand what an alcoholic really was and I didn't want to give up drinking because I thought I would lose fun. Haha, I was in the pit of misery and drinking too me there but I was afraid of losing that. Anyway, I have broke down why I am an alcoholic to two concepts. One- if I have a beer or two, then I will trigger craving and will not stop drinking until I pass out or run out. Two- if I start back up, then when I don't have alcohol in my system I will be obsessing about drinking until I pick up again.

The 12 steps of AA is the program that relieved me of my obsession to drink and as long as I don't pick up then I can't crave another drink. I suggest that you check out different types of meetings. If you happen to see someone that has that special quality of "they have what I want" then ask them to sponsor you. I tried to work the steps alone for a few months and it didn't work. Plus you having a sponsor is helping that sponsor to remain sober.

good luck and keep coming back

I'm glad you're working on your recovery.

Congrats. That's a moment you will never forget and a new beginning. I remember my first meeting. Maybe the hardest thing I ever did. It is a special group of people who have had the courage to do what you did.

Excellent Linners, I'm glad it went so well. :You_Rock_

Thanks Linners. Sharing your experience might just help someone working up the courage to attend a meeting.

Hey guys, thanks. Honestly I'm not sure how much of it has to do with courage, maybe some of it, but for me it's more the desire to not feel like crap anymore. I didn't want to try any meetings because I felt like that made it "official" if that makes sense. Yesterday I decided I need to get over myself. Because as much as calling myself an alcoholic makes me cringe right now, at the very least I can't deny there's a problem. And if I know it, isn't it already pretty official? What do I have to lose by trying something new to help myself? That's my line of thinking anyway.

That's great Linners :)

D

Linners,

Only requirement to be a member of AA is a desire to stop drinking. You don't have to label yourself as an alcoholic. Many people that don't identify just say that they are guests or might have a problem. It would be perfectly fine to say, "I am Linners and I have a desire to stop drinking" at a closed AA meeting. The rest of the meetings you can say, "I am Linners and I am a guest".

Good luck

Well done Linners. When's your next one?

BB

Its sounds like courage to me! Its not easy to do what you did, by any stretch. I think connecting (and reconnecting) with people in early sobriety is so important and I'm really happy for you that you're taking the steps to do that. :scoregood

Tomorrow (Saturday!)

Great job.


You know what you said in your opening post on this thread about that you stopped thinking about it, and just did it? Well, that's the crux of most of this recovery malarkey. Procrastination really is our enemy, we need to take action.

I read somewhere that courage has nothing to do with not feeling fear. All hero's would have felt that twist of fear in them before taking their courageous steps. Anyone who has ever contronted a bully. Anyone lifeboat person who braves waves higher than his vessel with his crew to rescue someone at sea. If they didn't feel fear they wouldn't be hero's, they just be psychotic. So, if that's the case, courage must be feeling the fear and doing it anyway: Making the 'right' choice, or the 'wise' choice regardless of that fear.

Anyway. Hope today's meeting is a good un.

BB

I hope you enjoy the meeting Linners!

Me too!
 

Hey Linners! I started AA a month ago and it has drastically changed my sobriety. I finally just went too! There are some uncomfortable parts but to be honest I think they can be the most important for me. When drinking, I become so pain/discomfort avoidant that I don't even want to be around people due to little things like awkward silences, weird moments, inconveniences, etc. Basically I'm completely intolerant of others and myself. I stop interacting with the living! AA is helping me so much and I'm glad it's helping you too!

Awesome! The first meeting was/is the hardest. Well done!