|
Losing my mind I am new to this site but I Honesty do not know what to do. My BF does not think he has a problem. Maybe he doesn't but when he drinks he tends to start fights with me over every little thing. We have huge fights but I'm getting to the point where I'm just too exhausted to fight back. I can't seem to find the words to fight back. My spirit is broken. Tonight he started in on me because my 20 year old daughter had takeout bags in the garbage. I could hear him talking to himself about the bags. I said they were not mine. Then he just wouldn't stop accusing me of giving her money to eat out while he had to eat leftovers all the while he came strolling in the house at 10:30 pm drunk. This may seem like nothing but it's all the time non stop and some escalate to a battle. I'm tired |
Al anon may be really helpful in person or the forum on here |
Sorry you are going through this, hopefully someone can share a good perspective. |
Hi Cindy - abuse is abuse whether it's verbal, mental or physical. One of our Administrators Anna has some great links for finding help: Abuse Defined. The National Domestic Violence Hotline International Directory of Domestic Violence Agencies Abuse information and support for every woman and every girl on Earth Home « HotPeachPages International National Domestic Abuse Hotline (US) The National Domestic Violence Hotline ? The Hotline Canada Canada: domestic violence information « HotPeachPages International UK: call Women’s Aid at 0808 2000 247. https://www.qld.gov.au/community/get...-getting-help/ call 1800RESPECT at 1800 737 732. Worldwide: visit International Directory of Domestic Violence Agencies for a global list of helplines and crisis center Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network 800-655-Hope From the link Abuse Defined, which explains abuse is not just physical: Tells you that you can never do anything right Shows extreme jealousy of your friends and time spent away Keeps you or discourages you from seeing friends or family members Insults, demeans or shames you with put-downs Controls every penny spent in the household Takes your money or refuses to give you money for necessary expenses Looks at you or acts in ways that scare you Controls who you see, where you go, or what you do Prevents you from making your own decisions Tells you that you are a bad parent or threatens to harm or take away your children Prevents you from working or attending school Destroys your property or threatens to hurt or kill your pets Intimidates you with guns, knives or other weapons Pressures you to have sex when you don’t want to or do things sexually you’re not comfortable with Pressures you to use drugs or alcohol D |
You've received good input already. You aren't married. Definitely take care of you. And there is no reasoning with someone who is drunk. Period. You will drive yourself nuts if you try to apply sober logic to drunk behavior. I can see why that would make you feel crazy. AA refers to alcoholism as cunning, baffling and powerful. No 3 words better describe the insanity than that. |
I'm sorry you are going through this. It sounds like this has been going on for a while. And you've tried to deal with the situation. I don't know but it may be time to move on. It is good that you are not married, but the longer you stay the harder it will get to leave. Take care of yourself and your family as first priority. Don't look for confirmation from this guy that he has a problem. He clearly does. But alcoholism is a disease of denial too and those who are in the midst of a problem rarely see it. And it usually gets worse. Xo |
Agree with the above, doing something that makes him accountable for his actions and the consequences may be the most kind thing you can do for him as it may help him realize the true nature of his disease. |
The important thing here is for you to take care of yourself and your daughter. You do not need to live in an abusive relationship. |
I'm sorry for what you're experiencing. You don't deserve that. What you describe sounds like an unhealthy and abusive relationship. I wish you the strength and clarity to take the steps that best serve your wellness. :grouphug: |
| All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:22 PM. |