JJ991

Thanks hpdw. I'll have a look at that book too.

I've ditched an early morning work trip to London today as it wasn't essential. I'm working at home, will take a bit of time out to look at stuff & get things back in perspective. Onwards & upwards!

JJ991

I started this thread weeks ago and have been doing ok but the anxiety hit me like a train this morning I've not made it into work which will make me feel terrible once the anxiety calms down. It feels like I fear starting the day, I just want to hibernate in bed. I have actually made it up, showered, dressed etc, but now just sitting on my own, husband and kids out.

Arrggghhhh!

I think I'm fighting it again & need to dig out my acceptance techniques.

julietUK

Morning JJ. I am sorry you are feeling. Anxiety is terrible. It sounds as if you have done the right thing is cancelling your work trip to London; as you said, it was not essential. Can you try and enjoy the alone (peace) today, set yourself realistic targets, like checking in here every hour.
I understand what you are saying. I have not left the house in over a week because of the anxiety, but not going out makes me anxious too cos I feel I should be doing things. Take care. Keep checking in with us.

julietUK

Sorry JJ, just realised your trip to london post was in November.

julietUK

Well done for getting showered and dressed. Something I can go days without doing.

JJ991

Thanks Juliet. I remember your thread the other day about not being able to get out. As you can now see, I totally empathise! It was just a normal work day today but it is a hell of a commute & just couldn't face it, Monday traffic being the worst.

I was doing pretty well but it has snuck back up on me. Mornings are so hard for me. No amount of sleep seems enough, but that is possibly me just wanting to hide away.

I can work from home so will log in soon & make sure I'm on top of things. I don't want to add work stress to how I'm feeling!!

julietUK

Hi JJ. Yes getting work done will help the guilt and anxiety. Its horrible and cold up here but I am determined to get out, even if just for a walk.
I am sorry that mornings are bad for you but at least it means things will get better as the day goes on.
Take care. I hope you feel better soon.

tekink

That anxiety can pop up on you again and again. These things tend to come in waves and when the wave hits it can be overwhelming. I'd get it really bad also and still do from time to time. NYE had me a complete mess.

Time is the thing that helps, it takes our brains some time to heal, I use it as a reminder of the damage I've done to myself.

JJ991

I hope you got out for your walk. I've not been anywhere!!

JJ991

I was feeling so much better so I guess I'm frustrated & disappointed Back to my acceptance therapy techniques I think. I was feeling kind of "meh" last night which didn't go away & then full blown anxiety this morning. I'm still not convinced I'll feel better tomorrow but I'm probably talking myself into it somewhat!

On the plus side, it isn't making me want to pick up a drink! But I do wonder if I need to do a bit more recovery-wise, the "meh" feeling is bothering me a little.

Mb3807

Anxiety is also my problem approaching 6 months sober. Mornings for the first 2 months for me was horrible, throwing up every day. I haven’t thrown up once since! My problem was that I was starting to drink at around 7 am and when I didn’t it actually made me physically sick. It’s crazy but I’ve lost 30 pounds since I quit, my blood pressure went from 140/90 to 115/75 ; and yet I can’t say I feel any better. I walk a lot to help with my anxiety and have tried breathing exercises which help no doubt, but not eliminate it. Anyhow like you I was concerned about this also, but from the responses it seems quite normal.

tekink

I'm not sure if you are familiar with PAWS (Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome) but for me understanding it helped tremendously as I get plagued by it.

Basically if you are drinking/using for a long time the drug effects receptors and chemicals in your brain. If certain receptors are being stimulated all the time by a drug your brain will adapt over time by producing less of those chemicals as it sees them as unnecessary.

When you stop the receptors are no longer being stimulated and your brain is in a chemical imbalance. Over time your brain will figure things out and start adjusting it's chemistry to normalize itself again. This doesn't happen overnight. I drank everyday for more than half my life, my brain doesn't know how to function sober yet but it's getting better and better all the time now (11 months for me tomorrow)

Everyone is different and not everyone gets PAWS nor do they get the same symptoms.

JJ991

A month on from the last posts on here and the anxiety is beating me up again. I'm giving myself a hard time and struggling to accept that this is the way it is. I have over 4 months sober but I'm not feeling as strong with this as I was before.

DarklingSong

Sorry to hear that JJ. Is the anxiety bad every day, all day. Do you notice any changes? I ask because for me the severe anxiety did lessen at the 4 month mark but it could still come back strongly and unpredictably. It usually hit for a day or day and then lessen.
Is it so bad that it is making you think of drinking?

biminiblue

It could just be hormonal. Are you on birth control? If it's at the same time each month, you may just have that natural swing that a lot of women have.

(Really hoping you're female, I didn't go back over the whole thread. If not, and disregard, obviously!)

Did you try all the other suggestions? Brief intense exercise (jumping jacks, squats, running in place for two minutes?) How's your food and stress management?

JJ991

It isn't constant, it seems to hit me at times, and for no obvious reason. I feel it very badly in the mornings most days but otherwise I'm ok...And then I get these horrible bouts like I'm in now where I suffer most of the day.

I have family stuff going on but it isn't that as such, it just seems to be everything/nothing/I don't know what.

I feel I'm close to a "f*ck it" moment.

JJ991

You made me smile! Yes I'm female and on birth control. Been on that for years on and off though with no such issues. Maybe I should track the feelings though just to be sure.

I remembered your suggestions before and was running on the spot in the kitchen earlier, it did help a bit yes.

My food is pretty good although I do have a bit of a sugar thing going on at the mo. No way I can give that up though......

Hmmmm stress management....probably not great with that. Any suggestions?

I did a therapy course for anxiety so I go back to those techniques but I just feel overwhelmed right now.

biminiblue

New sobriety is pretty jumpy. I really didn't get much relief from anxiety until about six months in. It took a full year to have my anxiety levels manageable on an every-day basis. I still get a little anxious some days, but I can talk myself down. I did a lot of online research for coping tools and methods of dealing with it in the moment. A lot of it is just down to more sober time.

It will pass. Hormones are a bear, regardless of BC pills or not. I think tracking on a calendar is a good idea, maybe you'll detect a pattern.

Sugar makes me cray - so does more than one or two servings of caffeine. I have to limit it - but in early days of sobriety I ate a lot of sugar. All good things must come to an end - and my high sugar days are fewer now.

biminiblue

Here are some useful ideas about the morning anxiety:

https://medium.com/personal-growth/1...y-d1e320aef4b1

DarklingSong

JJ, I had bouts like that too but they did get less and less as I approached 6 months sober. I was frustrated that I still had some anxiety and sad that I couldn't be one of the many SR members who were so much happier at that stage. I am going to state the obvious here.....drinking will make it 100 times worse. When I went back to drinking over Christmas (5 nights), the anxiety was actually torture afterwards. It took a few weeks to get my feet again.
Best wishes.