beginner here!! 😊

Old 11-26-2017, 08:12 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
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beginner here!! 😊

Hi, again another new comer here. 24year old &27days sober female & currently feeling pretty good, but I have also been around 50 something days sober before last Feb as I tried to kill myself with tablets while drunk around Xmas 2016.. I am not an every day drinker but a binge drinker on a weekend & sometimes a day in the week I'll have a few ciders in the house and wake up for work with a bad head&tierd from lack of sleep. I think that's why its difficult for a couple or the only couple of friends I have to understand my situation because some people can be nieve & say you ain't got a drink problem you just get abit angry because your upset at the time & I say yes I have issues, because drink brings them on which then ends with me being abusive with my mouth to my partner or kicking bedroom doors and over reacting with different things & I just become a state, and now it's come to the point where I can not deal with the "you know what you said last night" it gives me aniexty & suicide thoughts becasue I am such a nice person deep down I can't stand hearing what I've said to my bf or to strangers even. At the moment im struggling with peer pressure (is there groups to make friends for people who dont drink?) because although my partner knows its for the best I don't drink I don't feel supported. I don't even feel supported from my 53yr old friend who is like a mother and a friend in one. She's constantly asking me if i want wine when I go round her house or to have half a cider with my dinner or to smell her port and I feel like if she was a good friend why wouldnt you understand and not try and encourage me like that when you see i struggle with the after math.. she's lovely and caring and listens but when it comes to alcohol I feel I have no one to motivate me or guide me. Then I think I must not be that bad if people around me want me to drink, but then when im crying in bed the next day because my head hurts or I'm throwing up and eating junk (when eventually i eat) food then feeling fat then still tiered on a Monday morning skint from the weekend is that living or exsisting? Embarassing myself dancing like a wierd tart infront of work lot & having them talk "kels funny" when im dying inside cause im in a relationship but still want the innocent attention from the people in the pub. Falling asleep in taxis also.. Do I have a problem? or do I just blend with the rest and have a good time and say I'll limit it and never do, then maybe kill myself with guilt?! Confusing. Any advice would be greatful. K. X

Last edited by kel1; 11-26-2017 at 08:19 AM. Reason: spelling mistake
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Old 11-26-2017, 08:42 AM
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I so understand. Not everybody gets it. Some of us just gotta be sober. I donít do crazy things but I almost lost custody. You donít have to live in the gutter to ruin your life. I have depression too. If I drink I might just do something stupid like off myself. Not worth it. Iíd rather take my chances with these awesome folks. Keep posting. Try meetings. I have a therapist.
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Old 11-26-2017, 10:06 AM
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Hey there and welcome!

Congrats on the 27th day of sobriety. Yeah. I think you have a problem with drink. Only you can really make that decision though. It doesn't matter if you drink 3 glasses of wine three nights a week ( How I started, relatively normal amount) or if you drink 2 L of vodka in 12 hours (How I ended a few years later). If drinking is causing problems to your health or any aspect of your life, you have a problem with alcohol.

I started out just like you. At the time, I was in relatively good health and a healthy weight, I had a good job, excellent credit, a pretty decent amount of savings for someone in their late 20s, and was happy just to tip back a few here and there.

One year after I started drinking, I went to rehab, just to dry out and get my antidepressants adjusted. Least I thought that's all I needed to do. When I told friends and family, only a few really believed me. My own mother even asked me, who I don't have a good relationship with anyway, why I was taking time off for making money, why can I just go get sober for a couple of months on my own. Came back, started drinking every day immediately. Got sober four months later for 10 months, then relapsed for about six months… trying to get sober again.

I still have a decent job at the same place, but I think that's just by luck in a very understanding HR department. I'm overweight and my credit is horrible. I have no savings and I'm living paycheck to paycheck.

I don't want to see any of that happened to you or anybody for that matter

Look into AA meetings. If you're not ready for that, hit up a search engine and look for groups in your area that do things that you like. Restaurant meet up's, boardgame groups, book clubs.

A lot of people think that you need to be jobless, friendless, homeless… You would be surprised how many people are not in this predicament, but they have a serious drinking problem. I'd say the majority of people that are heavy alcoholics work every day.
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Old 11-26-2017, 10:31 AM
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Welcome to the family. 27 days sober is a great start. People who don't have problems with drinking just don't understand.
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Old 11-26-2017, 12:12 PM
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Welcome to SR, kel; so glad you found us.

Normies just don't get it; they are lucky, indeed.

I feel very blessed to have found sobriety and recovery. Rather be blessed than lucky!!!!!!
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Old 11-26-2017, 12:13 PM
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Congrats on 27 days, too!
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Old 11-26-2017, 08:34 PM
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Welcome Kel

SR is a great place because it is one place where you will find support and good advice. Other people in your life don't need to understand - but you do.

We do.

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