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He left me for an addict in rehab

Old 11-26-2017, 07:24 AM
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He left me for an addict in rehab

He didnt even bother to call or write after we had written to each other and talked about me visiting him. I had to fond out through his Dad that he met and married an addict in his rehab and is now living where he graduated. I was always a friend to him. Had known of him for years and he was my neighbor on one street for a year until he went to jail. I visited him every week. He strung me along and communicated with me in rehab. We talked about taking the friendship to another level and meeting at his rehab after being apart for months. He asked me to visit him.i set a date when i would be there, he didnt respond so i wrote a letter about just being friends as see how it goes. One month later i found out from his father that he met another addict in AA and got married. What an *******! Anyone who moves at that speed with no regard for my feelings is not for me. He is better off with an addict where he can be, "understood." That was one of his complaints when we were friends. He felt like i didnt understand him cuz i wasnt an addict. I'm moving to a new place for 6 months and then i'm leaving the country. All his probation fines and the baggage he has would have held me back and a man should have his own place if he wants to seriously date someone. He has had one long term relationship after high school with an addict then back to his parents, jail, rehab, and then married and living with another addict who gave him a place to live out of rehab. I could not take him seriously and he probably felt that so he sought out some security in a very fast marriage.
I still care about all the people from my past, but this chapter has to close and i dont want to re-open it. We were just not meant to be anything more than friends and it was more of a one sided friendship anyway. I think i can do better.
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Old 11-26-2017, 07:27 AM
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HI Daisey, and welcome.

I am sorry you are reeling from this, but with some time and distance you will see that he has done you a great favor by letting you go. You are right that you deserve better than a relationship with someone in such a chaotic place.
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Old 11-26-2017, 08:01 AM
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Sounds like you answered your own question. Know that he's sober, apparently happy and that you'll find better, which you deserve.

~Bunnez
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Old 11-26-2017, 11:02 AM
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Sounds like he was using you during times where he made major eff-ups and other people didn't want to be in contact with him. I am so very sorry that you have gone through that.

I truly believe that there are some people that are addicts and the addiction makes them selfish and do bad things… Then I believe that there are people who are selfish by nature who also happen to be addicts.

I was in a similar relationship when I was in my late teens-early 20s. The person did not have any addiction issues, but they were very similar to this guy you were talking about. Trust me, you're better off now. If it makes you feel any better I'm now in a relationship with a wonderful person.

Once you cut off contact with him, in a few months, you're gonna look back on this and think how grateful you are that this person is not in your life.

Don't think that all people with addiction issues are like this. Drugs and alcohol can make us jerks, but when we work on getting better we also work on ourselves. Hang in there and keep posting if you need support.
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