Hello all
 

I've been off and on sober (3-6 months at a time) for the past two years. I was drunk for pretty much all of the two years before that. I hid my drinking from my wife and lied about it. She thought I was getting dementia. I finally told her the truth and have been trying ever since to continue telling the truth and to not drink.

I was on a great 6 month run until the day before yesterday. As I was getting tools to put up Christmas lights, I found an old bottle I had hidden and forgot about. It only had a half a shot in the bottom. I was tipping it back before I even thought about it. I didn't even get the desired effect from it, but my wife saw me. I tried to tell her I was working on the lights (which I was), but it was still a lie and I was caught and am repeating the same cycle that seems to happen every few months. I didn't even have any stressors/triggers, etc.

I do have a therapist I see once a week. He recommended AA, but I'm not comfortable, and my schedule never has me in one place long enough. I'm hoping visiting here and talking to others might help me better understand what my compulsions are and whether or not I've got any hope in staying married after repeating this break of trust over and over.

Hi and welcome Saturday Blues :)

SR certainly helped me - but IMO it's not something you can do as something peripheral - I needed to make time to post here everyday and post especially when I was in trouble.

If you're committed to change I think you'll find the time - and whatever you put in to your recovery you'll get back out, believe me :)

D

Welcome to SR, SaturdayBlues; you have come to a great place for support, understanding and encouragement.

A solid plan for sobriety could be a great tool in your effort to achieve lasting sobriety and a solid recovery.

I will post a link in a moment to a very good SR thread regarding the importance of a plan.

As promised:

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...highlight=Psst

Thank you Dee74, I will make this part of how I start and end each day, since I'm usually on this computer anyway.

Thank you SoberLeigh. I will look forward to it.

Stay close; we are here for you

Preliminary action plan
 

Definitely stream of consciousness, but it's a start:
Plan:
1. Meditate on what my challenges are and how I'll deal with temptation.
2. Check forum
3. Exercise
4. Make lunch
5. Feed dogs
6. Write how I'm feeling and remind myself what is importanta. B and the kidsb. Me being wellc. Work
7. Work
a. Take breaks
b. Have friends
c. Find 3 most important things to accomplish and do them
8. Eat vegetables along with keto stuff
9. Ask someone how they are and really listen
10. Spend time with Brandy
11. Play guitar for at least 15 mins.
12. Feed dogs
13. Take care of my face
14. Check forum
15. Meditate on what my challenges are and how I'll deal with temptation. Write down my needs and desires and pick one to work on for the next day (maybe discuss before bed)
16. Talk to B and go to sleep with a good thought about tomorrow
When I feel vulnerable:
1. Talk to someone...B, therapist, forum
2. Write down what I'm feeling and whether I can do anything about it or if I should let it go
3. Play guitar or exercise or play with dogs or play video game
When I am tempted (found a bottle long hidden, offered something)
1. Go to list of why nots (health, diet, driving, working)
2. Tell B right away
3. Look at it as a challenge that I can overcome, motivation of being better
4. Look at my health metrics and how they've improved when I don't drink

Looks like a great start Saturday Blues :)

D