Trudy

This is my first day here and I've read a few posts that sound all to familiar to me. I have been clean of alcohol and drugs since 1997. Problem is I married an alcoholic. He is a wonderful man, but drinks tooooo much. Being a recovering alcoholic/drug addict, I know that I cannot force anybody else into treatment, so I have basically ignored it over the years. Oh don't get me wrong I have have several explosive incidents to show my utter objection, but basically he drinks and I ignore it.

Problem is that now it is affecting his health. He was just recently been denied life insurance because of elevated blood levels. That scared the hell out of him, for 10 days anyway, then back to the alcohol again. My problem is that now it is really pissing me off. I understand that alcoholism is a disease, but I don't understand how he is willing to still drink when he knows his health is in grave danger.

He admits that he is an alcoholic but thinks he can "control it". Yeah right!

I just don't know where to go from here. If I continue to ignore the problem, he may die. If I yell and scream, that won't solve it either. I can't force him into treatment. I'm just at a loss as to what to do. PLEASE HELP ME.

wingsfree

Hi Trudy...welcome to SoberRecovery, and a big congrats going your way on your years of sobriety, I commend you finding the will and strength to have quit living with an active user.

I wish I could tell you what to do, other then hog tying him up and taking him to rehab..but guess that's out.

You have to take care of YOURSELF, like you mentioned this is up to him to stop the insanity.

I'm married to someone who drinks also, and I chose to join him years ago, and working my way out of this mess, but it's hard with drinking around me all the time, I've begged him to stop serveral times, but he won't stop either. So I have to worry about myself, just like you Trudy. (that's a biggy for me)

My heart goes out to you, I know how you're feeling, and I know how frustrating it is when your spouse won't stop, nor has any intention of ever stopping, I've finally faced that fact with my hubby, and I know when he retires what will happen.

Please take care of yourself, all you can do. Have you tried Alanon, that might make you feel better getting support from others like you.

Sorry I don't have any answers.

Love and extra understanding hugs.....Denise

Paulie

Trudy -

Congrats on your sobriety, and extra congrats on staying sober while living with an active user.

You answered your own question a few times....there is nothing you can do to make him stop drinking.

But you CAN take care of you. I am glad you found SR. If you have not done so already take a look at the Friends and Family forum, there are several members there that are in the same situation as you.

Again, I am glad you found us and congrats on YOUR sobriety.

Trudy

Thanks for your responses. I just went over to the other thread for people who are living with alcoholics and I see that there are alot of people who are dealing with the same problem as me.

I know that you are all right...I have to worry about me, but I'm so busy worrying about him that I don't seem to get to me.

I am going to look into AlAnon meetings and I'm going back over to the other site to read more.
Thanks so much. I appreciate all the words of hope.
Trudy