New Comer Here and struggleing
 

Ok, I have been through 11 rehabs
Most recently at Gosnold Catomac on Cape Cod
While there we had AA meetings daily reading out of the big book.
I really wasn’t getting anything out of the meetings and it frustrated me to the max
Now I’m out 6 weeks sober, but after a hospital stay of 4 days, they found I have damaged my cerebellum part of my brain due to drinking
I was drinking at least a liter of vodka a day every day
I’m very depressed and lay in bed all day. I hate what I am going through right now and realize I have to change my life. I’m 62 yrs old, been drinking scince I was 15 and thinking I will never be able to do the work laid out by AA
I used to go regularly 5yrs ago, but never did the steps and still don’t want to
I do have a sponcer, but I rarely talk to him as he would well expectly tell me the only way to happyness is through doing the 12 steps
I really don’t think I’m ready for it
Another thing that bothers me is that I have absolutely no interest in anything, no hobbies, no hiking, no job, lost that do to drinking, I’m a mess right now

welcome henry :hug:
you are in the right place. please keep reading through the forum - I guarantee you will find something or someone else's story that will resonate with you sooner or later. and you will definitely find people that care. sorry you are feeling so down tonite but glad that you found this place - it's been a lifesaver for me.

Welcome, Henry - I'm so glad you joined us.

I think being here & talking things over will really help. I drank 30 yrs. & when I joined SR I was desperate. I was drinking all day & completely dependent on it. I was losing everything. At first, I didn't see how a forum could help me. The more I posted and read, the less alone I felt. That meant everything. Gradually, I found the courage to change my life. We're so glad you're here - and we understand what you're going through.

Glad you are here and things can get better.
AA is not the only way to obtain a better sober life.

Treating our alcoholism is the main thing as you deserve to have a good life and feel good about it and there are lots of ways to do it.
Plenty of help, experience, inspiration and examples on here so stay close.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Please stay with us. I struggle with "getting" 12 step meetings. I don't like group stuff, but I can tell you that this "group" has probably over 20,000 members. I've gotten a lot out of it.

Hi and welcome Henry :)

This is a great community and a good place to be - whether you're posting for yourself or posting to help someone else, I think support really helps, and can give you the motivation you need to make permanent changes :)

Hi Henry,

Welcome to SR, I am glad you are here with us. I'm sorry that you are struggling right now. This is a wonderful place to find support. You should join the class of November 2017, you will find others who have committed or recommitted to sobriety to this month. I found it helpful to have others in the same place in recovery as me.

Another great thread is the 24 hour thread, you will find a great group of people who support each other through the good and the bad.

I know you said you do not currently have any hobbies, but you can change that. What do you like to do? Read? Cook? Computers? Exercise? ....

So many of us on here have felt the way you do now, and with support we have been able to remain sober, you can do this too.

I'm looking forward to seeing you here on SR.