I need help
 

So I’m New hello,
I need help like ASAP .
I’m not a huge drinker matter of fact I was before like a huge , I had a problem I was in an abusive relationship for 4 years and I used to drink to cope with it , I suffer from depression and anxiety . Now , I’ve been doing way better , I’m in a better relationship a healthy one were he wants me to be better , always and not to lie to him .
I’m taking meds for my depression and works wonders , I’ve been working on the drinking and I have minimized it to the low , but the problem here is this :
I do drink a bottle of wine these past week and my bf told me not to lie to him about it , and instead tell him the truth , unfortunately I lied and pretty much didn’t told him about it , I didn’t lie about the bottle when he found it in my trash this morning I did told him the truth that I did drank it , then he said if I’ve been hiding alcohol in the house , I said yes too but it was this flash I had with whiskey which I prolly had It for a month now and drank it once or twice , the flask is small so you can tell I haven’t binge on it. He is mad because I lied , and I’m mad at myself . I really want to change I want to be able to not lie and tell him if I do have a drink, instead of hiding it from him . He is mad because he said if I lie about this what else I could be lying about , now this is truly cross my heart the only thing I lied to him about , because I’m truly embarrassed of hiding it and telling him about it . What can I do ? I really want to do better I really want to be good .

Welcome to Sober Recovery.

The root of the problem is probably your drinking. If you quit completely you wouldn't have to lie about your drinking.

Are you ready to do that? Get sober?

Welcome!

Do you want to stop drinking for yourself? I hope so. If you do, your problem of lying to your boyfriend will disappear.

I have some things in common with you there. I also have struggled with anxiety and depression a lot, and my drinking got significantly worse during an abusive marriage. It helped numb the pain but the result of numbing that pain during the worst times was that I stayed longer than I should have, and then problems with alcohol resulted. It's really better to deal with a situation rather than try to drink it away. It doesn't make anything go away.
Instead of reaching for a bottle next time, maybe try and think of a better way to deal with a situation, or to enjoy yourself...What are you trying to fix by drinking?
These forums have been good for learning how to stop drinking, as well as lots of help for dealing with common problems like depression, anxiety, low confidence, etc.
Hope you stick around

Welcome to SR, Blues; glad you found us.

Sounds as though if you give up, alcohol completely/take alcohol out of the equation, you will nothing to lie about to your boyfriend and voila: Problem solved!

The sober life rocks! Give it a try!

It's great to meet you, Blues. I hope you'll decide to kick alcohol out of your life for good.

Hi and welcome to SR Blues :)

D

Booze was the only thing I ever lied to my partner about and I couldn’t understand why this could make her perhaps not trust me in other things.
I didn’t realise that my lying even about this one thing could erode trust in general eventually because I was so honest with everything else.
My stupid alcoholic brain was just trying to minimalise the damage I was doing so I would keep drinking.

Best thing to do is to remove the common denominator which for me was alcohol.
No more booze, no more lies, trust gets rebuilt and happy days ahead.
Hope it works out for you, it can

Thank you all so much !! I had a open heart talk with him and told him everything , every lie behind the alcohol , everything . And I’m seriously done with it ! Thank you all !!!! I’m def going to continue here ! You guys rock

Hey there. I'm so glad you spoke to him. I'm still struggling with telling people I've been close to for years, my "horrible secret".

Drinking (or any other addiction) and shame go hand in hand. Add a diagnosis of anxiety and depression to the mix and it's a ****** cycle.

You feel the need to drink to calm anxiety/worries/depression/stress. You drink. You don't want anyone to know. You don't want them to be mad/angry/sad/scared. You lie. You feel it's for the best, though you hate yourself for lieing about it. You get anxious and depressed because you don't want them to find out and give up on you or worse, think you drink because of them.
Drinking increases the depression. You wake up, feel shame you drank or lied about drinking and get worried about how it's affecting your life. You want to stop. It eats at you all day. The family/work/financial/health issues it's causing. You want the guilt and shame to go away.
You drink.

I have Major depressive disorder (MDD) and PTSD. I'm also an alcoholic.

Keep coming here. A lot of us get it. These things are hard, real hard. But, sobriety is possible. A therapist and support groups for anxiety, depression, and/or addiction can do wonders, too!

Wow, can I ever relate to this!
My boyfriend asks that I don’t lie to him about drinking and I don’t anymore. But I still do things like drink booze out of my water cup so he doesn’t know.
Lying is the worst part of this disease to me, my poor family. My parents are totally in the dark about it.
Try not to get deep into the lies, they’ll make your anxiety and depression sooo much worse. It’s terrible.