Betterlife1

I don't know why it is that when I tell people I quit drinking, they cannot at least pretend that I am not inconveniencing them. It's bizarre!! I guess I'm lucky that my drinking has never blatantly had that "outward" negative impact enough where friends/family are the ones pushing me to stop. But this problem is very real and very big to me. It's health vs sickness, happiness vs unhappiness! Simple as that!! But it's really crazy that even those closest to me seem bothered when I tell them I'm quitting. So today is day 40. So far so good! I was with my wife's family for Thanksgiving today. I have not told any of them that I have quit yet. I didn't want to hear the ribbing that I've heard the other times I've attempted to quit. So as soon as I got there, I made myself a virgin Bloody Mary with all the fixings, then switched to cranberry and seltzer. I like these drinks, even without alcohol, so I was cool with it and people left me alone assuming I was boozing it up like everyone else. I did get some harrassing later on that I wasnt drinking enough, but that was short lived. Pretty sad I have to resort to this immature approach, but it worked for me! I want to get more time under my belt before I let everyone know what's going on and I can basically "rip the band aid off" Thanks for hearing me vent!! Hope everyone had a nice sober Thanksgiving!!

Anna

Congratulations on 40 days of sobriety and good job getting through Thanksgiving. It might be good to remember that you don't owe anyone an explanation as to whether or not you're drinking alcohol.

boyml27

I did the same thing. It was the first time I wasn’t drinking at a family holiday. I ordered a sparkling water with lime, and told everyone I had a headache. I lied because I am not ready to tell anyone what is happening. I had offers of drinks the whole time. It was a nightmare. I felt like a fraud, yet I want to hold my 2 month sobriety close. What if I fail? I don’t want the judgement good or bad.

Dee74

It annoyed me for a while and then I realised noone else has to understand why I'm not drinking - as long as I remember why, it's all good.

You can let others get to you, or you can let it go by.

Like Anna says , no thanks is all anyone needs to know. I don;t even pretend I'm drinking alcoholic drinks cos that tends to perpetuate the asking whether I want another one...

D

Delilah1

Congratulations on 40 days, and a sober Thanksgiving.

I found that early on my family and friends would try to get me to drink just one, or would give me a hard time about not drinking. However, that gradually lessened, and then stopped. I am a month shy of two years sober, and today it seemed normal that I don't drink at family gatherings.

Looking forward to watching your sober time continue to grow!!

Berrybean

Sounds to me like you're still surrounding yourself with the people who have helped you justify your drinking for ages because they drink excessively as well. You could be in for a long wait if you're hoping they'll enourage your sobriety. Alcoholics are like crabs in a basket - if they see one clabouring out they instinctively try to pull it back into the basket.

Have you sought out some sober / recovering people yet? That does make dealing with those crabs that are unavoidable a little easier.

BB

Betterlife1

I hear ya BB and your right. The problem with this particular day is it's family and it's Thanksgiving. If I thought there was any chance of falling off the wagon, I would have made some excuse to stay home. It's more of a big annoyance than anything else. But your point is well taken. In other areas of my life where I feel it makes more sense to stay away from the drinking situations and people, I am trying to do so. For example, I declined our work holiday party this year. I am (and will) start looking for other types of friends who dont put drinking as the primary reason to hang out. Thanks to you and all for the feedback!!

August252015

Thank you for sharing! As Dee and others said, IME focusing on my sobriety was the absolute priority. I was lucky enough, IMO, that everyone who did know what a problem I had was thrilled I stopped drinking.

Keep going for YOU - you're off to a great start!!

Betterlife1

I just realized this too which is cracking me up! When making the "Bloody Mary" I was looking around to see if anyone was watching to make sure I put vodka in. I even grabbed the vodka bottle to make it look like I was going to pour some in.. It's like the upside down world!! So silly!

D122y

Better,

Thanks to my wife, i was able attend a few Thanksgiving parties.

Booze was out and about at all. Hennessy, wine, and beer. I passed. Everyone knows i quit.

All the drinkers seemed so tired. Drugged. I was able to negotiate through the city w the confidence sobriety offers.

Home safe and sound. No worries about hangover...hitting the gym to put the extra calories to use.

I have unlearned drinking. It is not my thing anymore.

Thanks.

Stevie1979

I am only 15 days in here but I felt the same apprehension about "breaking it" to some of my family and friends. To my surprise everyone has been incredibly supportive. I think yesterday would have been really tough had I not let my family know ahead of time that I was done with alcohol. Everybody drank what they wanted but they were proud of me and supportive that I had made the decision that was best for ME. The same can be said of my friends who I used to grab drinks with all the time...not one has had anything negative to say.

I guess my point is, people might surprise you when you let them know you're done with booze. Either way it's your decision and it doesn't matter what their opinion is but you may find that their opinion is actually positive.

Keep on going

PinnacleOR

In my case, my entire family knows I’m an alcoholic so there’s no booze to be found on Thanksgiving Day.they love me just the same if not more,but by knowing they can and do take concrete steps to support me. Just something to consider, a knowing family may pleasantly surprise you.