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-   -   I keep messing up, trying to stay sober again. (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/419340-i-keep-messing-up-trying-stay-sober-again.html)

SpankedbyLife 01-31-2018 10:38 AM

It's been 13 hours since what I hope was my last drink. Praying for no withdrawal. I don't work until 6 tonight so I'm going to go nap until then instead of worrying myself to death. Reading the withdrawal time line over and over isn't helping. I feel great otherwise.

Rar 01-31-2018 01:54 PM

Hang in there Spanked. You can do this.

Dee74 01-31-2018 03:40 PM

Congrats on day one SBL :)

D

SpankedbyLife 02-01-2018 08:12 PM

Thanks, 1 day 22 hours 42 minutes in so far. No withdrawal symptoms still and my resting heart rated has returned to its normal 55-65 from the 80+ it is when drinking daily.

Rar 02-02-2018 05:25 AM


Originally Posted by SpankedbyLife (Post 6770473)
Thanks, 1 day 22 hours 42 minutes in so far. No withdrawal symptoms still and my resting heart rated has returned to its normal 55-65 from the 80+ it is when drinking daily.

YAY! :c011:

anxiousrock 02-02-2018 11:09 AM

Hello! Welcome back.
Given your story and the fact that temptation is so hard to deal with, do you think you should look at an inpatient clinic?
I have talked to many people at AA and intake programs that have benefitted SO MUCH from inpatient...literally RAVED about it, and how much it helped them. I could see their eyes light up when they thought about it.

SpankedbyLife 02-02-2018 01:37 PM

2 days, 16 hours and 5 minutes sober so far so good. I feel great and so full of energy. Going to work just 6-10 today I hope I feel safer and more balanced on the ladder when stocking. No withdrawal still so I doubt I'll have any at this point, I really dodged a bullet this time.

Anarock: I'm broke and have no credit card space for an inpatient program. My insurance only pays for hospital withdrawal at 3 days a time and some meetings at local help places. I'm already signed up for an IOP program for 3 hours on Mon Wed and Fri. Looking for a better group than the one I was going to to. Looking at local NA and AA meetups.

Dee74 02-02-2018 02:05 PM

Glad things are ok SBL :)

D

Rar 02-02-2018 02:07 PM

Keep going Spanked. You're doing great!

Mac4711 02-02-2018 03:25 PM

Awesome, so glad things are working out!

SpankedbyLife 02-02-2018 07:53 PM

All this time I thought it was my paxil that made me sweat when I work out and did heavy lifting at work... I guess I was wrong. 4 hours of hauling 50lb+ up and down ladders and almost no sweating at all, ditching alcohol was the only thing to change in my life since I last worked so some how it was causing sweating only during activity.

Rar 02-03-2018 04:58 AM

Another day done Spanked. Keep going! :grouphug:

Mac4711 02-05-2018 06:32 PM

Spank, you ok?

SpankedbyLife 02-06-2018 06:02 PM

Hi, I'm fine. Just been busy with work. Had some random heart palps when I woke up this morning but my beta blocker got rid of those, probably just my anxiety

SpankedbyLife 03-04-2018 02:40 AM

I just want to say thank you so much for all the support everyone, I may not have posted a lot lately but thats just because of work and me staying offline since sitting at my pc all the time is a trigger to get me to drink if anyone understands that... Got a pet ferret a few days ago and shes amazing and a great time killer. Thanks again for all the help everyone

Dee74 03-04-2018 03:39 AM

Thanks for the update SBL :)

D

Rar 03-04-2018 03:48 AM

Glad you're hanging in there Spanked. Keep it going! Ferrets make great pets. :)

SpankedbyLife 03-14-2018 08:58 AM

I hope I can speak the truth on here without being attacked...again.. =\
I've been going to AA and its been great but I still relapsed today after being contacted by my ex fiance who I loved so ******* much, sorry about the language. Just had 9 units of vodka and am on the way to the store for more =\ I don't want to drink more but its the only thing that helps me feel better about being 35 and still single with my social anxiety and as she puts it " not a ******* pathetic shy loser" =\ I just hate living (no I'm not suicidal)

biminiblue 03-14-2018 09:06 AM

I think maybe you would be better off not talking to the ex for a while if it upsets you this much.

No new contact = no new pain.

You could block her from your phone, email and social media. What do you think? I mean, other people can be downright mean when they are feeling hurt. I would let the ex deal with her own feelings and stay away if it is upsetting. That was a cruel thing for her to say and no one deserves that.

Maybe sleep it off instead of buying more. (?) You have to start somewhere. Right now is the best time.

Go to a meeting sometime today...they will understand and you will find something good there, honest.

Dee74 03-14-2018 05:08 PM

I agree no contact sounds a good way to go right now.
Don't let someone else rent space in your head.

Destroying yourself with booze is not the right or healthy response to your ex gf , man.

You can do this, Step away from the bottle and reclaim the sober life you deserve :)


ps

I'm not sure who attacked you here or why but you can always report a post or PM by using the https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ons/report.gifbutton on the offending post, or PM Anna or me for anything relating to this forum :)

D


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