Cuckoo

Tonight was going to be my yet another day one.
I drank just over a botle of wine. Its just gone mid night here and I have no wine left and am seriously contemplating slugging my family member's vodka which isnt even my drink of choice !!
I have to get a grip of this, been having some weird feelings in my liver area as well.
Eating rubbish late at night which I expect everyone does after drinking.
Anyway, here I am again.
Hi everyone. Hope I dont get any negative posts re failing again. I saw a few recently that stopped me from posting again.
C

DreamCatcher17

Keep coming back.

What made you drink?
How did you feel?
Do you feel better after drink?
How does day 1 feel?

Those would be questions I'd ask myself.

I had to accept the fact that I'm an alcoholic and can never drink again. Thats what was different for me this time around, I had my last day 1 but it took me 3 times.

You can do it, you just have to want it, work your program every day and have a plan and stick with it no matter how hard it is. Starting over and over again is hard, annoying, always letting yourself down, living in remorse and in the past. It's unhealthy.
You're worth a happy, sober life. Now get to work 😉

resolute50

It took me a couple times before I was able to stop for good. That was over 4 years ago. You 'll get it right. You never really fail unless you stop trying.
You're going to have to stop or eventually it will lead to ruin.
Do whatever it takes. Don't be afraid to ask for help.
Finding this forum was a great start.
Glad you are posting. Means you are determined to stop.

Cuckoo

I am not going to drink any more tonight....I am going to bed and not dwelling on alcohol.
Good night all.
C

resolute50

Good night.

Cuckoo

And thank you for the positive replys tonight. I am feeling very low at the moment, need some sleep I think.
C

doggonecarl

Why can I not stop ??

I am not sure anyone can do more than speculate. Here's my speculation, and if I am wrong, point it out.

Looking over you previous threads I don't see anything that you are doing "recovery wise" except posting to Sober Recovery. For some, that's enough. But not for most of us. Folks have recommended that you formulate a recovery plan. Have you? Folks have suggested involvement in a structured substance abuse program. Not sure why you've discounted that before, but maybe you are at that point now to accept you need face-to-face support.

It takes effort to get and stay sober; it takes commitment to implement the changes we need to make in our lives to support sobriety. It takes work to learn to cope with life without resorting to drinking. If you are lax in any of those areas, perhaps that explains why you can't stop.

thomas11

Carl has hit the nail on the head. Sobriety takes effort, commitment and work in order to succeed.

Pressmetilihurt

Been there. There’s a way out. I got help. Outpatient rehab. Therapist. This place. Meetings. It’s takes a lot but we need to let others love us and help.

letsdance

That's the question I keep asking myself. Why cant I stop? Its easy to answer, we are addicts that's why, but what can we do to make it not happen again? Its just so hard and I think it sucks that some people made you feel bad for posting when you slipped. That would really turn me off too. But there are so many kind helpful people here too that will help you so don't ever be afraid to post. We all make mistakes.

Cuckoo

Thank you letsdance. Yes this whole thing is so difficult and I need to apply myself much more than I am.

C

oldmate

I was reluctant to share on here when i drank again. It can make
you feel dirty and shamed but dont,weve all been there.

Get back on that wagon and grab the rails

Doubledee

F.A.I.L... First Attempt In Learning.

Keep at it. Learn what triggered you to drink this time and how you’ll avoid it next time. Don’t feel guilty either. It happens all of us and feeling guilty for myself made it more likely I’d drink again.