Blogs


Notices

Always emotional

Old 11-19-2017, 09:00 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: California
Posts: 142
Always emotional

It has been 168 days since I had my last drink of alcohol. And I cry all the time. Almost every day. A lot about my past, anytime i think/talk about my recovery and anytime i get a strong urge to drink. Has anyone experienced this?

Kate
LoveForMe is offline  
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to LoveForMe For This Useful Post:
chiquen81 (11-20-2017), D122y (11-19-2017), DarklingSong (11-19-2017), least (11-19-2017), Mklove (11-20-2017), plop (11-22-2017), SimplyFree (11-20-2017)
Old 11-19-2017, 09:35 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
biminiblue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 20,090
I cried a lot in early days. It gets better.
biminiblue is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to biminiblue For This Useful Post:
D122y (11-19-2017), Mklove (11-20-2017), SimplyFree (11-20-2017), SoulShine8 (11-19-2017)
Old 11-19-2017, 02:24 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: London
Posts: 2,040
Congrats on 168 days Kate 💜 are you accessing any kind of talking therapy? Might help to get out the emotions that have built up in a structured safe environment...
nova84 is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to nova84 For This Useful Post:
D122y (11-19-2017), Mklove (11-20-2017), StartingOverNW (11-19-2017)
Old 11-19-2017, 04:25 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 560
I'm also very emotional in recovery. I'm at 5 months and the first bit was the hardest. Talk therapy with a therapist who specializes in addictions and finding others who are great listeners and nurturers helps.
SportsFan15 is offline  
Old 11-19-2017, 04:29 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
oldwriter's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 39
Only my fifth night sober so I have to say I'm envious. I don't get weepy, but I hold my emotions in my neck and shoulders and right now they're as stiff as a board.
oldwriter is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to oldwriter For This Useful Post:
SimplyFree (11-20-2017), SoulShine8 (11-19-2017)
Old 11-19-2017, 04:34 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
bona fido dog-lover
 
least's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: eastern USA
Posts: 84,796
Blog Entries: 32
Might you be depressed? It would be worth an assessment to find out. Depression is treatable with therapy and/or meds.

I agree tho, that early sobriety can be an emotional roller coaster.
least is online now  
The Following User Says Thank You to least For This Useful Post:
Mklove (11-20-2017)
Old 11-19-2017, 04:38 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Blue Belt
 
D122y's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 3,627
Blog Entries: 1
kate,

I still am emotional, but now I am much more stable. I am drug free so my bio changes are all due to food and health.

I was very emotional in the early months. I could be triggered easily.

For the first several months I was hyper sensitive to light, sound, terrain changes, and lack of food.

I'd come here and vent, work out as hard as I can, and know it is my brain healing after years and years of being routinely soaked in booze.

I don't expect much out of myself and I don't expect folks to treat me any better. If I do well I am happy. If folks treat me better that is a bonus.

It is tough getting sober, but I am tough. I had to be tough to drink as hard as I did for 40 plus years.

Two week ago, I stopped drinking 1.5 liters of water a day, eliminated the caffeine, and began to watch my sodium intake. I went into a serious funk for a few days.

I almost went to the ER thinking I was having a stroke or something. But, I didn't and I am still here. It was all in my mind.

Thanks.
D122y is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to D122y For This Useful Post:
Chuck39 (11-20-2017)
Old 11-19-2017, 10:10 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
 
Berrybean's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,868
Blog Entries: 2
Yes. I went through a horrible few months where my mind just seemed to grab at every past hurt or fear or resentment and replay them over and over, along with a good dose of shame to add to my self pity. Every night I prayed that I could just die in my sleep. Every time I ws alone the tears would just course down my cheeks. My drive to work was the worst and I'd literally have a wet lap from tears by the time I'd got to work. It was bleak.

My personal turning point was getting a sponsor and working the 12-step recovery program of AA. It helped me deal with all that old 'stuff' that I'd managed to drown out with alcohol for years.

It might be worth having a read of this article on PAWS, in particular the bits of it about action that can be taken to alleviate it. (Just knowing what it is doesn't stop it feeing rubbish). https://digital-dharma.net/post-acut...r-immediately/

Prayers going out for you today Kate.

BB
Berrybean is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Berrybean For This Useful Post:
chiquen81 (11-20-2017)
Old 11-20-2017, 01:11 AM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
 
tufty13's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 800
Hi Kate,

I experienced huge emotional swings including frequent emotional outbursts.

I think it's quite common, especially around the six month mark. It does get much, much better so hang in there.

Do some research on PAWS if you haven't already. It's very real.
tufty13 is offline  
Old 11-20-2017, 04:02 AM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
 
FreeOwl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 7,444
What helped for me was working with my grief as a topic in counseling. A lot of it wasn't really even about drinking.... just about.... life. Life and loss and regret and sadness....

Having a good therapist, doing some group work, spending time in reflection, journaling, working on forgiveness (for Self and others) were all very helpful.

Hang in there, it does get better.... but also we have to work on MAKING it better..... for me anyway, it wasn't a passive process of simply waiting around for improvement. The first year included active effort to process, work on, confront, accept, let go.....

FreeOwl is offline  
Old 11-20-2017, 04:35 AM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
 
SimplyFree's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,298
I had lots of emotional swings certainly in the first 90 days. I thought I was past the mood swings then, but nope! They still come and go. I recognize the part my depression plays in them and also being hungry or tired can mess me up a lot. I could get bent about them, but look at it as learning to manage who I am. I’m just me, a bit messy sometimes.
SimplyFree is offline  
Old 11-20-2017, 05:38 AM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Member
 
sobersolstice's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 390
I didn't have these mood swings in recovery the first time I tried to stop, but remember becoming tired and a little apathetic.

This time around, it's becoming a battle. I don't cry too much, but hold it in and want to throw things or work out until I hit complete failure. I'm not working much, so my budget is broke. I almost stopped working the way I just stopped drinking. I realized I don't like my business, and stopped running it. I'll probably get evicted in mid-winter, but i don't care. I deserve it.
sobersolstice is offline  
Old 11-20-2017, 10:41 AM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Member
 
chiquen81's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 216
Originally Posted by Kateangel View Post
It has been 168 days since I had my last drink of alcohol. And I cry all the time. Almost every day. A lot about my past, anytime i think/talk about my recovery and anytime i get a strong urge to drink. Has anyone experienced this?

Kate
Hi Kate...I have 136 days and I am having a lot of mood swings and some pretty severe depression. Reading your post helped me a lot and made me feel less alone. I cried on the way to work this morning, actually. I've never gone through anything as difficult as this in my life. I think it's perfectly normal if you're thinking of your past - my crying comes out of nowhere about anything at all.
chiquen81 is offline  
Old 11-20-2017, 10:46 AM
  # 14 (permalink)  
The opposite of addiction is connection.
 
PinnacleOR's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: Oregon, USA
Posts: 361
Day 25 here and I wanted to bite my mom's head off this morning I was feeling so irritable and cranky. Mood swings from elated to pissed. But no drinking! Trying to just ride them out like a breaking wave.....

Has anyone else given up coffee? It's such a great ritual in the morning for me, the smell, the first hot sips, the buzz...but I wonder if it's playing havoc with my blood sugar and moods.
PinnacleOR is offline  
Old 11-20-2017, 10:47 AM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Member
 
chiquen81's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 216
Originally Posted by Berrybean View Post
Yes. I went through a horrible few months where my mind just seemed to grab at every past hurt or fear or resentment and replay them over and over, along with a good dose of shame to add to my self pity. Every night I prayed that I could just die in my sleep. Every time I ws alone the tears would just course down my cheeks. My drive to work was the worst and I'd literally have a wet lap from tears by the time I'd got to work. It was bleak.

My personal turning point was getting a sponsor and working the 12-step recovery program of AA. It helped me deal with all that old 'stuff' that I'd managed to drown out with alcohol for years.

It might be worth having a read of this article on PAWS, in particular the bits of it about action that can be taken to alleviate it. (Just knowing what it is doesn't stop it feeing rubbish). https://digital-dharma.net/post-acut...r-immediately/

Prayers going out for you today Kate.

BB
I cried so hard on my way to work this Monday morning. Wow, it was good to see that this wasn't just me! It was just terrible and I wanted to turn around, go home and hide under my covers all day from the world.
chiquen81 is offline  
Old 11-21-2017, 04:51 PM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Blue Belt
 
D122y's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 3,627
Blog Entries: 1
I had a little incident at work today. It was not really my fault, but i could have prevented it w decisive action.

As the event played out, about 30 seconds, i considered intervention, but decided based on a few variables, it was ok. I was wrong.

But....

I was almost correct. I am in no trouble at this point but i feel like i am.

It is crazy and i assess my obsessive thoughts about this or other things in general are directly related to my drinking days. Coping skills were not developed.

Any coping skills i develop at this point are from the internet. AA can be the answer. I need to commit properly.

Obviously, a professional therapist may help, but i am concerned about the ramifications...stigma....just like AA.

I know it is better than going looney...but i believe that is a long sht.

As long as i stay clean.

Thanks.
D122y is offline  
Old 11-21-2017, 08:52 PM
  # 17 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 560
I already posted but had to add that I cried a lot especially in the first month to 2 months. I'm nearly 5 months and have relapsed several times. The first 2 months were always emotional for me. I think it's a mixture of finally "feeling the feelings" instead of drinking to escape (that's the case for me at least) and the body chemistry changing and being out of sorts.

Every time, I feel dramatically better at 3 months. Hugs.
SportsFan15 is offline  
Old 11-21-2017, 09:09 PM
  # 18 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 51
I cried for my first three years granted Iím back too 60 days after a slip in there as well itís a journey n we have too remember our past is a part of us but not our future. Proud of u for going this long and know ur not alone.
mielz is offline  
Old 11-22-2017, 08:54 AM
  # 19 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: California
Posts: 142
Thank you everyone. It does feel good to know I'm not alone (or losing my mind).

I got into it with someone at work and cried. A couple days before an unhappy customer got to me and I broke down. It's happening at my work and making it hard for me to do my job. I work again today... I hope it goes well! Trying to stay positive.
LoveForMe is offline  
Old 11-22-2017, 08:56 AM
  # 20 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: California
Posts: 142
Originally Posted by nova84 View Post
Congrats on 168 days Kate 💜 are you accessing any kind of talking therapy? Might help to get out the emotions that have built up in a structured safe environment...
I've been meaning to set up an appointment with a therapist. I wasn't very fond of my previous one. I guess she kind of turned me off to the idea but I do need to give someone else a chance.
LoveForMe is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:41 PM.