asixstringnut

So here I am at day 17 sober and feeling better than I can remember. The AV is talking away in my head and the scary thing is it is starting to make sense.
I know the outcome if I take a drink, I have been down that road so many times with the same miserable results every time.
I often wonder why I give this voice any power.
Thank you all. I just needed a place to come and vent. I am not going to drink today. I wish the voice would just go away and stay away once and for all.

asixstringNut If anyone here is new AV= Alcoholic Voice.

JJ991

I would say, "thank you very much AV but sod off, I'm just going to let you chatter but please do it quietly, I have better things to listen to!"

tekink

The beast is sneaky, but it looks like you've already spotted it's mascade.

Dee74

The AV has nothing good to say ever.
Blank it - totally ignore it - and you'll do ok Six

D

HTown

Starting to make sense? Not that liar AV, you were smart to come here. Stay strong, play that tape and realize you will just be more miserable if you drink,

biminiblue

That voice is always lurking, six. I think it's more a matter of having the answer to it, like JJ991 said.

I always reply, "Thanks for piping up, but I don't drink and I'm not going to, no matter what." Fighting with it is pointless, it doesn't even have hands or feet - it's just a thought - an uninvited buzzing little buzz. >>poof<< begone with you.

tekink

Agreed! I found it much easier to kill the AV by telling it it's not going to get what it wants. You can feel it kick and squrm when you do so but eventually it loses power as it realizes it's not fooling you into thinking it's yourself anymore.

oldwriter

AV = Alcoholic Voice. Never heard of it before but now that you say it, it makes a lot of sense (it's existence, not what it says). That internal dialogue about why having a drink or getting drunk just one night won't hurt.

Yeah, I've had that conversation many times over the years but I guess I have no right to talk. This will be my third consecutive night sober so I don't have much of a track record.

It reminds me of a concept in Judaism called the evil inclination. Religious Jews, unlike Christians, don't have the concept of a sin nature or that people are hopelessly evil. It's complicated how it came about, but basically they believe that people have an inclination to do good and another inclination to do evil. The evil inclination isn't really "evil" as such, but it can be terribly misleading.

In Judaism, one way to strengthen yourself and develop positive character traits is to resist the evil inclination. It is often a "tool" used for that purpose, so I suppose the AV might serve a similar purpose.

Before anyone asks, no I'm not Jewish but my wife is so I've done a considerable about of reading over the years.

least

It took me several months sober and a lot of gratitude before that voice got fainter. But it will, as long as you stay sober!

Chuck39

I couldn't agree more to all the commenters. It wasn't until I acknowledged and started audibly talking to the beast that I could fight his urge for just one more night. It's typically on the ride home from work, or right before leaving work, and I have to tell him again, "hello, I was expecting you, thanks for your input but you are wrong, have a good night and I'm sure I'll be talking to you again soon." People watching me in my car probably think I am nuts but that's OK.

ChloeRose63

I scream at it sometimes...when no one is around...I scare the cats but, it works better than rationalizing with it.
Then I take out the frying pan....and cook something delicious for myself! Day 50

NorthernLass

Asixstringnut, Good you asked for help. Don't listen to it. Ride out today and you are one day closer to 20, then 30 etc days. That's good progress!! You don't need alcohol. Its a poison. Come and post on the November class. You can stay sober! We are rooting for you!!!!!!