Day 5 and 6
 

Day 5 was full of guilt and self pity. How could I be so stupid? Apologized to a few people I thought I upset. They were kind of surprised. See it’s not necessarily your actions that spawn the embarrassment, it’s the unknown that you don’t remember because you blacked out. That and caring way to much what other people think. But in the end, there are only a few opinions that matter. It’s impossible please everyone, and once you realize that you are human and stop being afraid of what others think, part of the guilt goes away. Today, day 6, I began to feel like my normal self. Much of the embarrassment is gone. Talked about alcohol with my partner at work, no cravings though. I think I needed to feel like an ass one more time to get me to realize just how horrible alcohol can be. Still have the sixer in the fridge at home, it’s my wife’s now. She still thinks I can be a social drinker, but I’m not ready for that. Religious counsel suggested that once I find the true root cause of my binges, it will be possible to drink in moderation. I don’t want plan on finding out if he is right or not. However, as things slowly normalize, I know the temptation will be there.

it's a helluvalot easier to just quit once and for all than to moderate and go from ON to OFF ... it's a Rollercoaster that will make your head spin.

just quit.

quit for one day and then repeat.

Ideally you may want to aim for a year, because what is ONE measly year without booze in the grand scheme of life? and to prove you can not drink for a year.

People mean well but unless you have first hand knowledge iof addiction, it's really easy to give out dumb advice.

I started drinking for various reasons, but I developed a nasty case of alcoholism with it along the way - even when I fixed those underlying issues, my alcoholism persists.

I believe it's a for life thing.

If I'm right I avoid a lot of senseless self destruction...if I'm wrong the worst thing that happens is I never drink again...big whoop :)

D

'If I'm right I avoid a lot of senseless self destruction...if I'm wrong the worst thing that happens is I never drink again...big whoop :)'



...hard to argue with those odds, Dee.