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New and scared

Old 11-15-2017, 06:43 PM
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New and scared

Normally, when I join a forum, I'm pretty upbeat, but it's taken me a lot to get to the point of joining this one.

I'm male, in my early sixties, and been drinking most of my adult life, usually every evening so I can sleep.

There's been a few times in the past I've tried to stop. Once I was off of alcohol for the most part for about five years (around 15 years ago) but then started drinking frequently again.

About seven months ago, I noticed an intermittent pain under my left rib cage and upper right back. I can use Google and knew what it probably meant, but figured I still had time.

Within the past month or so, the pain has become more frequent. I can't count the times I've poured out all my liquor (wine and vodka) only to buy more in a day or a few days later.

I drank vodka last Friday and Saturday nights, about 375 ml each night, and on Sunday, had pale diarrhea for hours. I also felt pretty lousy, like mild flu symptoms. I didn't drink on Sunday and by Monday, I felt great again.

My wife had some sort of flu with pale stools for about a week (she doesn't drink) and I thought maybe it was that so yesterday, I bought another 375 ml of vodka and drank it. I hadn't had a bowel movement since Sunday so thought maybe things were okay.

Today, I had hard, pale stools followed by frequent loose, pale stools. So now I know it's not the flu and I'm scared to death. Got rid of the finger or so of vodka I had left. My upper right back area stings so I figure that's my liver again.

Since I'm "coming out" here, I'm intending on making it stick this time. I have to. I've got two adorable grandchildren I'd like to live long enough to see grow up.

I'm working a temp/contract job with lousy medical insurance so can't afford to see a doctor. Right now, although my family knows I like to drink, they have absolutely no idea the extent of my consumption and I'd sure like to avoid telling them.

Posting here feels safer than AA meetings (I tried one once and everyone there scared the daylights out of me...they drank in ways and amounts that were way outside of my experience).

I've done a bunch of Googling but you can learn only so much from the internet. I guess what I'm asking is "what are my chances of recovering my health going forward?"

My wife believes in healthy eating so that part isn't a problem. I've been going back to the gym again after an absence of almost a year (strength training and cardio). I know healthy eating and exercise helps.

What now?

Thanks,

Old Writer
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Old 11-15-2017, 06:50 PM
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Welcome!

We do understand how hard this is. I'm glad you posted and that you know you need to stop drinking. There is no need to tell your family or anyone about your plan if you don't want to. However, it's always best to talk to your doctor before detoxing from alcohol because it's unpredictable and can be dangerous.

Following is a link with information about various recovery programs and tips that we've used.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
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Old 11-15-2017, 06:56 PM
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Wow. That was fast. Thanks. I wasn't kidding about the lousy medical insurance so let's see what happens first. Within the past month or so, the longest I've gone without drinking is five nights and the worst thing to happen to me is persistent itching and intermittent sleeping. I'll push the panic button if I have to, but I'll wait until I have a reason to.

Thanks for the resources. I'll have a read. I'm looking forward to letting my hair down, so to speak, and being able to be honest with people about my drinking.
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Old 11-15-2017, 07:06 PM
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welcome to SR!

Keep reading and posting. I have never went to an AA meetings and only had the support here and so far I am doing good.

It is hard though to break those habits. Eat well and drink plenty of water. Keep some other favorite drinks on hand too. It will help.

Remember H.A.L.T. Don't let yourself get Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired. It makes it easier to stay on track if you remember that.
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Old 11-15-2017, 07:16 PM
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Hi Old Writer. Welcome to SR. Thanks for sharing your story. It's not too much different from many of ours. While none of us can diagnose you, I can assure you that the chances for you to stick around long enough to enjoy your grandchildren is to give up the booze for good. And you will soon find some amazing little side benefits that go with it, like freedom and pride and a healthier life and probably a better relationship with those that are closest to you. Good luck! Today is the best day to get started!
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Old 11-15-2017, 07:28 PM
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Welcome OW! I'm in my sixties too, and stopped drinking almost 8 yrs ago. It sure feels good waking up sober.

If you can't see a doctor, then at least go to the ER if you have bad withdrawal symptoms. Alcohol withdrawal can be dangerous sometimes. Be safe.

Lots of support here so post and read. Glad you joined us!
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Old 11-16-2017, 03:21 AM
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Thanks for the warm welcome. Just woke up. Have to hit the gym at five if I'm going to get to work at a decent hour.

Had some liver pain last night but slept fairly well. Used a castor oil since I heard that's supposed to help. Not sure if it does since there's little research to back it up but right now I figure it can't hurt.

Welcome to day one. Hoping the pale stool resolves by itself as time progresses.
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Old 11-16-2017, 06:38 AM
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If you cannot quit on your own, really think about getting local help. Best of luck to you. You should never drink again and allow your body to heal. This is a wake up call.
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Old 11-16-2017, 06:52 AM
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I'm no doctor, but it seems pretty clear that the best thing you could do for your health going forward is to keep away from the poison of alcohol. Anecdotally there are people in pretty bad shape whose health comes back from way worse than you're describing. Like me, for example. Our bodies are remarkably resilient when we give them a chance to be.
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Old 11-16-2017, 08:32 AM
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Welcome to SR oldwriter, quitting drinking is something most people on this site have never regretted. Whether it was for health reasons or simply to bring some peace and stability to one's life, sobriety has its rewards. Hope your health issues are nothing to serious. Wish you the best.
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Old 11-16-2017, 08:49 AM
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Hi oldwriter and welcome to SR. You do remind me of how I was when I stopped cold turkey on 19th April. Various pains, total fear and worrying toliet habits. I spent about 3 weeks in a state of off and on panic about every twinge and yes I analysed my toilet habits like mad.
Nobody can say what damage you may have done except a doctor you know that but the only chance of healing you have is to stop drinking and take it off the table as an option for you ever again. The human body is an amazing thing and you have the chance right now to slowly undo the damage which you've implied is there. It takes time. We aren't very good at patience as a rule but time is exactly what you need. Every day away from that poison is a day closer to a better life.
There is a wealth of support and information on SR and I strongly advise you to grab this opportunity and go for It! Take care xx
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Old 11-16-2017, 07:59 PM
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hows it going oldwriter?

D
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Old 11-17-2017, 03:50 AM
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Originally Posted by joandmelandhan View Post
Hi oldwriter and welcome to SR. You do remind me of how I was when I stopped cold turkey on 19th April. Various pains, total fear and worrying toliet habits. I spent about 3 weeks in a state of off and on panic about every twinge and yes I analysed my toilet habits like mad.
Nobody can say what damage you may have done except a doctor you know that but the only chance of healing you have is to stop drinking and take it off the table as an option for you ever again. The human body is an amazing thing and you have the chance right now to slowly undo the damage which you've implied is there. It takes time. We aren't very good at patience as a rule but time is exactly what you need. Every day away from that poison is a day closer to a better life.
There is a wealth of support and information on SR and I strongly advise you to grab this opportunity and go for It! Take care xx
So far so good. Night two a success. Worst that's happened so far is spotty sleep, and yet I got bored at about 4:15 this morning and decided to get up.

Really, all I need do so far is to recall my "toilet atrocities" recently to convince myself not to drink. Of course, it's only been a very short time, but I've got to start somewhere.

Thanks to everyone for your welcome and well wishes. Interviewed for a job on Wednesday so wish me luck. I need to get out of the dead end contract/temp work I'm in. Real medical insurance would help, though I'm feeling okay thus far. Even went to the gym yesterday and did bench presses and deadlifts.
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